To expect MIL to be able to look after my baby?

[NickMyLipple]

14 week old has been sleeping over at grandma's house every other Friday night for several weeks now. Today when we dropped DD she was a bit snuffly and dribbly and I wondered if she might be starting teething though she's a bit young... maybe she's just under the weather or got a little cold?

Anyway, AIBU to expect MIL to be able to deal with her even if she's a bit poorly and to call us if she is really stuck?

DP thinks I should call and make sure she is okay (his mum, that is!) But I think that's a bit condescending and she should be able to manage and will call us if she can't?

Sound.

Oi pearl clutchers! Mine stayed at grandmas from 6 weeks. Not every week nor every other but they did. I went clubbing (actually I had a full nights sleep but thought 'clubbing' might give some of you the vapours )

Some people are being ridiculous. My children very rarely stay out and certainly not before they were 4 years old, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't work for other families.

I have had my niece from 1 week old every second or third week and have currently got her and he 9 week old brother for the night. It really helps my sister to get some down time and I love my niece and nephew.

Wow Op you're getting a hard time. Jeeze I'd have practically given my baby to anyone for a while nights sleep a week. Not everyone needs to be attatched to their child 24/7

Its the child's grandparent not a random stranger. People on this thread need perspective.

Wow! Everyone’s piled on you here OP I wouldn’t/haven’t left mine at that age, but they’ve been bf and coslept so it’s not really practical. It obviously works for you guys and that’s great! Can’t see how one night a fortnight will have any particular impact, especially if she’s a good sleeper (so will be oblivious to anyone for however many hours anyway).
Anyway, back to the point, am sure MIL will be fine - given that she’s your MIL, she’s presumably managed to successfully raise at least one child to adulthood. The snuffliness won’t be an issue I’m sure - my 10 week old has 2 older, germ-ridden siblings, and as a result has spent more of her little life full of snot than not. If I were you I’d probably message before I went to bed or something just to see how little one was, for my own peace of mind. If you didn’t think MIL was capable of looking after baby, you wouldn’t have let her go!

Fuckwith....

A fellow voice of reason.

This is a depressing thread to read. Those poor little ones 😔

Mum's assume they're better because they don't allow anyone to watch their child....

Just no....

Disgraceful

It’s the baby’s grandmother not someone op met last week on a bus.

Yes some people need to get a grip of those pearls, and take a drama course. I don't think SS or Pokice will bat an eyelid. Baby is loved and well looked after, and sometimes goes to grannie. I bet those who said they wou,d not leave their baby with anybody else, and those who look down on working parents, who have their babies in childcare, with strangers, not their loving gran, whilst they go to work!

😂😂😂 Some of the responses on this thread are bloody hilarious!!!

Op yanbu

I don't think the issue is whether baby is safe with MIL.

Oh the poor little babies being left with their living gran sometimes, oh dear they will grow up to be damaged adults going to a life of crime, oh pitty that🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

I know this isn't the issue but.....I don't see what difference it makes whether the op phones or the father. What is this obsession on mumsnet that it should always be the father who speaks to his mother. The op hasn't said anything about not getting on with mil. If it was me worried, i'd just phone, what the hell does it matter who makes the call. Stop always jumping to the conclusion that the father isn't as involved as the mother. People are too ready to think the worse.

I'd hate to have a Dil who didn't feel close enough to phone me. I have son in laws, i'd be insulted if they never called me purely because i wasn't their mother, and it wasn't their job to. How weird.

I know amy blood hilarious, I am having a good laugh on a Friday night.

Jeez there are some ridiculous overreactions here! “Why did you even have her?” Seriously?! what an utterly ridiculous question.

I really don't see the issue with having a night off op.
Sorry you're getting these responses.

Jesus you lot she's with her Granny not left in a cardboard box! Baby will be totally fine and getting lots of love.

Why can't we as mothers just support the needs of other mothers. Baby will be totally comfortable with granny.

Fuckwith I do like slund it sounds like a cross between under, slut and slung. I am going to use slund. Maybe it means when you are under a car on one of those big skateboard things.

Actually I wouldn’t normally say this but I’ve had a shocker of a day. All of you saying you couldn’t bear to be away from your 3 month old baby, you do realise that’s all about you? The baby is happy so you’re not better mothers. I’d say your depriving your child of different experience because your self worth as a mother is based on proximity. Imagine you had to go into hospital, your child is having it’s first night away as an emergency and you haven’t prepared them. How could you? Your child is terrified and alone because you couldn’t bear to be away from them. For shame.

Of course MIL can manage, she raised your DH didn't she and I'm sure he had the occasional sniffle.

This thread is so full of shit.

The "poor" child? Really!? What planet are you on. Child is fed, warm and with loving family. Parents get a good night sleep, pick up baby and get on with their merry lives feeling refreshed. You don't get any prizes for doing it alone or being a martyr. It's a win win all round surely?

OP Your husband is BU, it he wants to call he needs to do it himself but I'm sure MIL can deal with some snuffles.

I love the 'im not judging' posts that then go on to drop in that their child is 8 and they've still not been in separate rooms, let alone houses. Yes... you are judging.. and trying to gloat about your superior mothering skills.

clearysclock IKWYM but in this case the OP's DP was suggesting to the OP she contact MIL as he wanted to check. So I think saying the OP's DP should call his mum directly in this particular instance is reasonable.

Judging by some of the responses on here, you would think that 0p. Had abandoned her baby to a stranger! Baby is with a loving grandparent. I'm so glad my daughters and dil appreciate the fact that grandparents can be involved in their children's lives from birth. I don't understand this never having time away from babies.
My MIL babysat mine from a couple of weeks old for the odd night (even though we didn't always see eye to eye) as I have with all my grandchildren. It allowed me and my husband some time alone together to recharge and go out and have a nice evening with friends. It didn't do any of us any harm. My daughters had an amazingly close relationship with their grandparents until they died, as I have with my grandchildren.
Those of you who don't foster these types of relationships from an early age are doing your babies no favours. In fact, I think you're bat shit crazy!

Oh no, the baby is happy and safe and looked after with her grandmother, somebody phone social services! Jesus wept.