Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To expect MIL to be able to look after my baby?

339 replies

NickMyLipple · 22/06/2018 22:31

14 week old has been sleeping over at grandma's house every other Friday night for several weeks now. Today when we dropped DD she was a bit snuffly and dribbly and I wondered if she might be starting teething though she's a bit young... maybe she's just under the weather or got a little cold?

Anyway, AIBU to expect MIL to be able to deal with her even if she's a bit poorly and to call us if she is really stuck?

DP thinks I should call and make sure she is okay (his mum, that is!) But I think that's a bit condescending and she should be able to manage and will call us if she can't?

OP posts:
Rachie1973 · 23/06/2018 14:00

Crikey I'd have left my first born with trained chimps at 3 weeks if had meant getting some sleep!

I've been having my grandchildren for overnights since 3 or 4 weeks old. Sniffles... well I have a lot of experience so don't really stress me, although I prefer not to have them sick.

Barbie222 · 23/06/2018 14:02

I think it's a big ask, but each to their own.

Sallystyle · 23/06/2018 14:16

This place at times is bizarre and the intelligence levels of some is quite frightening.

When my two youngest were born and my older children were with their father my ILs would often have the two youngest over night and that started around 12 weeks or so. It was great, we got time as a couple and some sleep. My inlaws got to spend time with their GC and the children didn't mind at all. It was a win win.

OP's baby has a slight snuffle. She is not yet unwell. My children always had snuffles as babies.

Anyone who judges the OP has some serious issues.

ArsenalsPlayingAtHome · 23/06/2018 14:28

Don't have time to read whole thread, sorry.

This has probably already been mentioned BUT..

Did you send Calpol? I don't know how old your MIL is, but advice might have changed since she was a mumI.

If baby suddenly takes a turn for the worse, high temperatures can occur very suddenly.

If your MIL knows about the dangers of over heating, & keeps the baby at a sensible temperature it will be fine. I'd keep her topped up with Calpol & write down for MIL when she is due the next dose & ask her to make sure that she sticks to it.

Sallystyle · 23/06/2018 14:34

I think it's a big ask, but each to their own.

You just read the title didn't you?

BertrandRussell · 23/06/2018 14:50

What is a “big ask”?

Perfectly1mperfect · 23/06/2018 14:57

I posted yesterday but as the thread is still going I wanted to say something else. Some of us will be MILs in the future. I never left my children with anyone until they were much older but I would be more than happy (and capable) of looking after my sons and future DILs child overnight at this age. I would feel sad for myself if they thought I wasn't capable and sad for them as parents if they were judged for doing it. I think I would probably encourage them to leave the baby with me sometimes as I know how exhausted I felt at times with a young baby.

Redglitter · 23/06/2018 15:13

Both my nieces had regular sleepovers at my mum's from when they were tiny. They have an amazingly close relationship with her. They are both very happy confident girls and don't seem to have been too traumatised by being sent to Grans regularly.

I'd say it's benefited everyone. My Brother & SIL have time to themselves or can.go out. The girls love it. Mum gets time with them on their own & they all benefit from the great relationship they have.

ottersswim · 23/06/2018 16:43

I didn't leave my dc overnight at that age. Not because I didn't want to but didn't have the option of leaving them with dgp. I have my first overnight without them tonight for forever. I'm jealous the op has the option and takes it.

Barbie222 · 23/06/2018 17:06

A big ask is a big thing to ask. The OPs MIL is presumably happy, but I don't think that implies that those of us who are not happy to have other people's children overnight are being unreasonable.

OhPuddleducks · 23/06/2018 17:14

My dd has teeth at 16 weeks so it could be teething. I’d probably ring and check if it were me, but I would also assume your mil would contact you if the baby took a turn for the worse.

PumpernickleInaWarehouse · 23/06/2018 21:09

Well I must say that if my mil offer3d every few weeks to give me a night off and so she could spend the nigjt looking after my lovely baby I wouldn't be saying no haha

Pixie2015 · 23/06/2018 21:29

Sounds like a wonderful relationship - MIL obviously brought her son up well - enjoy your friday nights.

RunningBean · 23/06/2018 21:40

Just text if its for your reassurance, and if you're not worried then just let her know to contact you if there's any issues.

FWIW I think a lot of grandmas would love having their grandchildren sleep over at that age! I know I would if my DC have children when they're older, and would be happy to either get on with it (having done so before) or give regular updates depending on what the mum wanted.

I have to admit my first thought was I couldn't have left them that young, which I think is where some of the negative comments on here came from. But then I thought about it for a second and realised my DP has been away countless times when they were young and he has just the same bond and love for them as I do, just less anxiety! So there's nothing wrong with it if you're happy leaving her at this age.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page