...to sometimes give toddler DD the finger behind her back?

[Legbreak]

She definitely doesn’t see and it makes me feel better and is always at home, not out and about etc. My DSis thinks it’s appalling.

Why never to your 3 year old, out of interest?

I have never sworn at my child or flipped the finger.That just not what I do.But Iam not perfect andy dd has ,when small,made me realise why some parents with less self control hit their children.I don't condone it but understand the way children know how to push you buttons and have had to walk away for a moment sometimes.
As for empty threats I did tel my fd that Misbehavers in the house would be picked up by their ankles and dipped in a cold bath,she was never quite sure if I was joking or not and never seemed to notice that it never happened,it just might.

Forgot,now she's a teen she worries that I will join in with Morris dancers and the slightest bounce has her worried I'll start dancing!

LOL - there's no harm so long as you're not caught. I do that to my computer all the time and got caught the other day ha ha!

Incidentally I'm not saying that a computer is the same thing

Oh dear. I frequently give the finger to my computer when I get an email from an annoying colleague, at my boss's back when he's being an arsehole, at my DP, my dog, my father, builders, my apprentice, my PA and definitely at my ndn's children when they are screeching in the garden at 6am.....

It is a momentary sign of exasperation which passes and then I can carry on in a calm manner.

I would be very surprised if my parents hadn't given me the finger when I was a child as I was annoying. My mother was an abusive bitch but nit because she may have dine that and possibly swore at me when I was a toddler.

I'm sure people do it to me now. I can still be annoying.

Much prefer that to being called a bitter, miserable old cunt to my face thanks SIL.

Bloody good job I didn't have children then.

Ooh 😮 one finger is a bit harsh, two fingers is fair enough on a tricky day though.

Mess I thought two were worse than one?

children are not mini adults who need to be cowed into submission.

Go on then, I'll bite...

How is making a gesture that someone will not see and never know has happened "cow them into submission?

Go on, tell me - unless you're so desperate to have a say you're talking utter bollocks..... (And I think you are....)

And FWIW my kids are both fully grown adults who are bloody nice people & doing very well for themselves.

And I'd have to say this is despite the great British education system, so forgive me if I'm not interested in the views of Teachers who, on the whole, haven't been doing a very good job for the past 20 years.

The only difference now is that I'll give them the finger to their face !

As it appears to be "Sanctimonious Sunday" I think I'll remove this thread from my Watched List & leave you to your frothing....

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Most of the posts in this thread are ridiculous!!! Likening giving the finger behind a kids back to the same kind of treatment that SEMH (EBD went out the window a while ago as emotional and behavioural difficulties is no longer a recognised SEN) kids get at home!! Fucking hell!!

I work with kids with SEMH day in and day out and the practitioner who says that they don't make them want to shout and swear is a total liar. They make me want to shout and swear and I still do the very best I can with them.

Just the same as with my kids. They occasionally act like total arseholes and I have flipped the bird at a closed door on loads of occasions. And none of them have developed SEMH difficulties!!

Each to their own but that just doesn't feel right to do that to your own kid, I know how annoying they can be but even so it just seems quite horrid

I see @nostaples is still sucking the fun and joy out of life.

Honestly can't believe some people have such long and protruding sticks up their arse that they find it offensive to swear at your kids when they don't even know it. Yawn!!

Blimey. There's some poker faced ppl on this thread

Honestly can't believe some people have such long and protruding sticks up their arse that they find it offensive to swear at your kids when they don't even know it. Yawn!!

Your children know it. That contempt will come through in all your interactions with them. Love the Donald Trump posting style BTW.

load of sanctimonious twats on this thread.

And a very articulate example of your disrespectful attitude.

Jumped down a hole of your own making.

This thread makes seriously depressing reading.

I think that if swearing at toddlers is what brings the joy and fun to your life @StormcloakNord that says considerably more about you than about me. Likewise to the people who swear and rant on offensively to people who disagree with this idea of fun on this thread.

The idea that it's absolutely fine to swear at people as long if they don't know you're doing this, if they're toddlers, if they're strangers, if you're not in public and if your children have special needs are some of the most bizarre and most deeply unpleasant opinions I've come across on MN.

nostaples I agree.

Some people just have abusive mentalities.

And it's interesting but not surprising that those who defend these actions are the ones giving other posters too- and having them deleted.

Very telling.

Nostaples and speakout, u refresh my faith in humanity. Keep speaking up !

It's just not an appropriate thing to do.

If I caught my kids doing this to their friends, or indeed my OH doing this to anyone I wouldn't be happy about it.

It's passive aggressive, infantile and shows a lack of ability to communicate.

Abusive mentalities!
Nobody is suggesting you should do this in front of the child but a quiet release of frustration away from them can be very useful.
It's not the same as a child doing it to a friend. They can walk away. As a parent in sole charge of a child we can't say we've had enough for the day and leave them to it.
Is it something I have done often? No.
Is it something I have done? Yes?
Would I do it now my children are older and can use language to resolve issues? No.

It's not the same as a child doing it to a friend.

No, it’s an adult doing it to a child which is far worse.