...to sometimes give toddler DD the finger behind her back?

[Legbreak]

She definitely doesn’t see and it makes me feel better and is always at home, not out and about etc. My DSis thinks it’s appalling.

I'm confused as to how raising my middle finger where my kid can't see it is setting a poor example for her. She... can't see it. That's the point.
I do think that it all depends on how you view swearing etc. For me it's just words, DD1 knows that there are words that you don't say in front of certain people and that there are some words that you never direct at people etc. But they are just words and lifting a middle finger is just that imo.

Some of the replies on here are bollocks!! Giving the finger behind a child's back because you are frustrated is way better than physically lashing out!! Get over yourselves! Just because you don't do it doesn't mean your a better parent....sorry to say there is no such thing as a perfect parent!

I don’t give the middle finger, I do however do the arm thing a la Ross from Friends.

@ALemonyPea this is defo spelt completely wrong but "fifanapoli!!" I use this with 13yo as having never watched friends he hasn't a clue what I'm on about

Excellent! That’s one I need to use.

Used to do it all the time to the ex. Likewise to one of my then teenagers.

I occasionally do a four fingered dance behind my teenage DD. I have also done it behind my Grandmother.

I’d never do it in front of anyone else; it’s purely a tension release for my own benefit.

You’ll get no judgment here!

Haha I did this to 17 year old daughter this morning and she saw the reflection in the window 😂😂. She properly told me off. Was bloody hilarious to see the shocked look on her face! She even asked me if “I’d done it before as it didn’t set a very good example” 😂😂 currentlyonnaughtystepwithaginandtonic

i think it depends how you view swearing and what mood is behind it.

DD is 19 and I’ve always done it and worse! She’s an amazing human being and totally unaffected by what she didn’t see or hear me doing when I could quite cheerfully have throttled her.

We’re only human and all need a release from the stress and pressure of being a parent. We’re not saints!

I’d say it’s fine. It’s definitely preferable to punching her in the head which is what they sometimes drive you to want to do.

I frequently turn round and mouth big, long sweaty phrases when my children drive me crackers.

Seriously what do all these sanctimonious super calm parents do to defuse their anger/frustration? Are they all on drugs maybe?!

Seriously what do all these sanctimonious super calm parents do to defuse their anger/frustration? Are they all on drugs maybe?!

Apparently they all have punch bags

This made me laugh!! I 'whisper' scream 'Fuck off'!' into the fridge several times a day, immediately followed by a lovely smile and 'Yes?'. He's 11 now and to the best of my knowledge he has no idea that I do it, alot of my friends now use this coping mechanism too. The cheese has never complained 🤣🤣🤣

Sweaty phrases

This thread is in the DM.

I like to mime clipping them around the ear and kicking them up the bottom. Even better if DH notices and they don’t.

Awful thing to do! Toddlers are still in the cute stage! (ok, it’s been some time since I had my own toddlers but my niece is v cute) but definitely you need to save the finger and under the breath swear words as it gets worse as they get older!!! (Fucking fortnite and Xbox and homework and random requests from school that aren’t communicated properly.... I repeat again- toddlers are cute! Except for the snot/rashes etc)

Seriously what do all these sanctimonious super calm parents do to defuse their anger/frustration? Are they all on drugs maybe?!

Seriously I cant remember ever being so annoyed that I felt the need to swear or give dc the finger. But then it's not something I would ever do to anyone else anyway. I did shout occasionally. Or count to 10. But I'm quite a laid back sort I guess.

Do you know what?
I absolutely fucking object to being told I am treating my children with contempt! There is no contempt.
There is so much love it hurts.
There is amazement at their insights and talents and sheer unadulterated brilliance.
There is respect for their ideas and feelings.
There is worry.
There is sadness when the world doesn't get them or they don't get the world
Then there is sheer fucking frustration over DD's socks or DS's refusal to print off his school work done on the computer we provide because school are useless and he can't write legibly.
There is frustration when getting out the door to school turns DD into a sloth and I know full well I am going to be late for work.
Most of all there is love.
Which is why I fuck off into another fucking room and do the 2 fingered waves dance rather than yelling like a banshee.
But there is no fucking contempt.

I do, however, have contempt for people who have no fucking clue.

Jeff, most people will understand.

When my Grandmother used to be absolutely vile, my mum would try to reason with her and it would end up with both of them becoming really upset, and occasionally Grandma becoming aggressive.

I did the four finger dance and it relieved the frustration. Nobody knew and nobody got annoyed.

I adopted the strategy with my DD. Never to humiliate, just naughtiness to make myself smile through times of intense frustration!

Healthier all round I’d say.

Fucking daily mail

I did snort at YummySushi´s idea of punching a punching bag being better than a finger gesture.

I know which one my kids would be more askance at if they caught me privately unleashing a bit of tension.

Fucking daily mail ?

Yes. Apparently one of their lazy journalists has used this thread for an article.

I am doing the middle finger to Daily Mail right now.