SIL posting pictures of my children online without permission

[Biddymam]

My SIL is always posting pictures on Facebook of my children. AIBU to think she should ask before posting? I’m off the opinion she does it for the likes on Facebook. My husband refuses to confront her on this and I know if I do I’ll be the worst in the world. How do you handle these situations without a major fall out

As long as there settings are set tight so no stranger can access them I would let it go pick your battles

Is it possible your husbands said one thing to her and another to you to keep the peace with both you?

Are these photos you/DH have sent to her or ones she has taken herself?

I would have a word and tell her you don't want photos of your children being posted.
However, if you post photos of them, you've kind of lost your argument.

Ask about her privacy settings and who can see them?

If you do it too, say it’s ok for private accounts but not things with hundreds of strangers or public.

If you have a no kids on SM rule then everyone else should be going with your rule, it’s not rude to ask them to stick with it.

It’s also very easy to have photos of adults and kids together without showing the kids faces. It’s arty:)

These are pictures she has taken herself. She is one of these people that has a million Facebook friends and this is my main issue, who knows what random person is viewing my kids. And if it was one off I probably wouldn’t mind as much but literally every time she see’s them a picture is posted. My in laws are difficult to deal with and I know the huge fuss that will be created if I say anything directly to her. I have said in conversation that I don’t think people should post other children’s pictures online as this is in appropriate. 😕

Random people view your children every day unless you keep them locked in the house, so I never really understand it when people say this.

If you have Facebook and post pictures then she probably doesn’t see anything wrong with it - if you don’t have Facebook then it’s easy enough to tell her that you don’t like Facebook and ask her not to post pictures of your children on there.

Suggest a private shared Instagram for family only?

Say you’re taking the kids of social media but of course let’s all share and enjoy photos.

Pull some psychology on them. Your inviting them in so no one can get personally offended or object too much/for long, everyone can still take and share photos, meanwhile you are getting the photos off places you aren’t comfortable with and controlling the audience to only family.

Do you post photos of your children?

I would never post pictures of other people’s children without permission. My friend recently had a baby and I even checked with her it was ok to post.

Unless she's posting photos of them not fully clothed or with identifying information such as address or school etc, it wouldn't bother me tbh. I don't see it as that big of a deal myself. I might be a bit miffed if it was hundreds of photos each time but if it's just the odd photo, I couldn't get worked up about it.

This would bother me, my DD is not on social media at all. A few friends have posted photos and I asked for them to be taken down.

I don't agree with if you've posted you've lost the battle. They're your children, it's up to you what you post. No one else.

Just ask for it to stop and can she delete the photos she's already put up.

I never post pictures of other people’s children on Facebook or other social media. My BIL is very clear about this and none of his DC have ever appeared on social media. I don’t have an issue with putting my own DC pics up however I don’t have thousands of random folks as friends and have tight security settings. Schools ask you to sign a consent form so they can use photos on there website and twitter. If you have a issue about your DC appearing on FB tell your SiL. Really not sure why you can’t tbh.

She will continue to do it but stick you on her restricted list. I know a Mum who has a ban on social media to the extent she doesn’t even do fb. Turns out I’m friends with a siblings of hers I only found out when I saw a picture of the mums child on fb.

Can’t you say to her that you don’t want them to have a digital footprint until they can choose to have it themselves. I don’t put pics of my kids on the internet because it’s out of their control. It’s not so much about how you feel as how they may feel about it.

Ask her to stop taking photos of your kids as you don't want them posted online

What is the reason you don’t want your SIL posting photos of your dc on Facebook?

What will happen?

"What will happen?"

No one knows what will happen, that's the point. That's why it's better to keep children off Facebook, no matter what your settings. How many of us predicted the Cambridge Analytica mess?

Would you have an issue with your kids being in the local paper?

Could you report the photos to Facebook saying she doesn't have permission to post them?

Does she know how you feel? If she doesn't know that you object, then she's not BU - it's what people use Facebook for!

Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. And ask her not to post them.

If I knew any of my friends would object, then there's no way I'd post photos of them

The reality is that nothing will happen. Cambridge Analytica was nothing to do with posting of photos, it was the use of data of account holders.

I have said in conversation that I don’t think people should post other children’s pictures online as this is in appropriate

This is a very passive aggressive way of saying it though.

At least she's showing interest in your kids. My in-laws barely know mine, let alone taking and posting pics of them