SIL posting pictures of my children online without permission

[Biddymam]

My SIL is always posting pictures on Facebook of my children. AIBU to think she should ask before posting? I’m off the opinion she does it for the likes on Facebook. My husband refuses to confront her on this and I know if I do I’ll be the worst in the world. How do you handle these situations without a major fall out

I'd let it go. It's not worth fighting over, just a preference you have. Relationships sometimes involve letting minor irritations slide.

When you see her next, or CALL her and speak to her so she gets the sentiment of you asking rather than confronting:

Hi SIL, been meaning to have a chat, just wanted to make sure you understand that while we are happy for you to take pictures of DD, we don't want them put on your FB"

I'm not on Facebook. Husband is. He shares the occasional photo (probably about one every couple of years), and family members have also shared pics. I don't get worked up about it. It's not an argument I can be bothered with.

For me it depends if you post pictures on SM or not. If you do, I don’t see that your SIL should have to ask (although I would, because they’re not my kids) but if you don’t, then she’s out of order doing so.

I don’t want pictures of my kids on SM until they’re old enough to make that decision for themselves, and will tell anyone taking pictures of them that I do not want them posted online - if they then did so, I would be furious, and tell them so.

No judgement to anyone who does, they’re your kids. But pictures of my kids online isn’t for us.

What about the local newspaper which also has an on line edition. What's the difference?!

I made it clear from the outset that I didn't want anyone to post my son's photo on social media.
Your child, your decision.
We have a WhatsApp group for family only that we put pictures on.

Ignore the posters saying "what's the worst that could happen" "doesn't matter" etc.
Yes it does, some people are so presumptuous and rude able social media.
This coming from someone who uses it a lot, but wouldn't dream of putting someone's kids picture up without permission.

If you want her to stop then you have to be direct and tell her.

I understand. I've never put pictures of my dd on fb. My in laws (who are on fb all the time and post pics of their own kids) have never needed telling and have fortunately just understood not to. We have a Whatsapp geoup for sharing family pics.

Every time she posts, report it to Facebook stating they are your children and you didn't give her permission to post their pictures.

She'll work it out once she's banned.

You can report her photos to Facebook and they will make her take them down.

You have the right to decide what your children's digital footprint should be. There are many weirdos out there who sadly do awful things to photos of people's children. There are also potential safety issues with posting pictures of your children online, especially if you live in a larger area - it could potentially make your children targets for someone to harm them.

Mate, I would be fucking mental if someone did this. It's outrageous. People DO NOT UNDERSTAND facebook etc. OMG. Do not put your kids baby photos on the net. They are not you, they are your children and you must protect them. This isn't ok.

You need to tell your SIL not to do this. You can do it kindly, but they are under YOUR charge and this is NOT in their best interests. Your gut feeling is right.

My brother and partner never puts their kids on facebook, so the rest of the family respect that. Its not a problem for us, we just have to censor or choose pics carefully after family gatherings.

I think its both a consent and a courtesy issue. I'd never post a picture of an adult on my FB page without checking with them first that they want the picture on there or they like it. I don't like pictures of me being put on SM without my consent- I've been burnt too many times with awful ones. Now I won't let certain people take my photo as they say they'll not put it on FB and then they do anyway and say they think I'm joking.
I volunteer at an organisation and we have a closed FB page for parents. I never put pictures with the adult helpers on there without their consent because so many of them have been upset when someone has taken photos and just plastered them all over the page.

With kids you ask their parents and when they get old enough you ask them.

I asked my husband to tell his family not to post any pictures they took of my newborn before they arrived to meet him. They can’t be told anything so I knew it wouldn’t be met with respect.
This is an article outlining some of the issues around social media.
thenextweb.com/lifehacks/2018/11/12/dont-post-your-kid-online/
I would like to offer my child the chance to decide what he would like to share or not when he is old enough to decide.
Privacy and self ownership have been forgotten but should be respected.
There are things online of me that I wish I could take down permanently but am unable. I wouldn’t want this to effect my child also.
My in-laws fb profiles are not private and they have some horrendous views I do not want my son associated with.
They do not show love in person so why use my child to humble brag about online for likes? The whole thing stinks to me.