Please make sure children are wearing appropriate clothing

[Damnthatdog]

No mini skirts or crop tops, yr 6 leavers party.

So not children, but girls. Please make sure girls aren’t wearing anything which could be deemed provocative. Which is how it reads to me.

AIBU or not?

I really wouldn't want DD out in a crop top or mini skirt when she's 11. It's a bit distasteful.

@Bunnyfuller if you work for the police then you should know that pedophiles actually want little girls to be dressed like little girls ,as that's what they're attracted to.

So titillating

How about raising boys in such a way that when they are men they will not think that they are entitled to take photos of little girls or boys, or entitled to rape them? That way, if a girl wished to wear a mini skirt or a crop top she could do so without the risk of being blamed for something that is actually the responsibility of adult men.

Well for any sane parent, that’s just an obvious way to raise your son, isn’t it Math?

"How about raising boys in such a way that when they are men they will not think that they are entitled to take photos of little girls or boys, or entitled to rape them?"

Generally don't think people are raising their sons with this veiw. Please step back into reality.

RebelRogue

Being deliberately obtuse.

Ofc I am...oh well.

OFC?

rebel you know full well this that picture is not what anyone is talking about. #

I know a girl who was 10 at the time , (one of the youngest in the year) went to a year 6 leavers party dressed a bit like Olivia Newton John in Grease, think black leather pants and top. A full face of make up and hair done to the nines.t.

This 10 year old was 5ft 4 and could easily have got into a pub and been served.

The boys were all wearing hoodies and jeans or tracksuit bottoms.

She looked absolutely lovely but it was not what you would expect a 10 year old girl to look like to by any stretch of the imagination.

The same girl now hitches her skirt up with an elastic band at age 11 (year7 ) at school. Somewhere along the line she has got the idea that looking like an adult and showing a bit of leg will get her attention. She is right.

I doubt the school would be happy if the schoolboys started going topless or wearing skintight muscle shirts a la Love Island, either. But if they did I imagine it'd get added to the list

Like it or not, showing more leg/bum/boob/belly is signalling availability. If that's what you want for your dc then I feel sorry for them.

I would think the teacher is just encouraging sensible clothing appropriate for bowling so the girls can fully participate comfortable in the knowledge they are not displaying their underwear or anything they wouldn’t wish to. The crop top ould be fine. Jessica Ennis did a full heptathlon in a crop top. (The only circumstance in which I would wear one would be if I had her waistline and abs!) However take the point that someone could carry this to extremes and wear a somewhat less athletic version.

I have never been comfortable with young girls wearing certain adult clothing. Appreciate that women should have the right to wear what they like without attracting unwarranted attention but that’s not how the world works is it and I would be keen to protect my DD (11) from the consequences of inadvertently sending out the wrong signals. Probably unnecessary fear on my part. I don’t have a lot of experience of how ‘professional ladies’ dress but if the tv stereotypes are true I would be wary of mimicking their dress as I don’t think they are making a statement about female empowerment. I once heard s fashion designer state that what the hookers are wearing on the street this year will be on the catwalk in 2 years! Probyably an exaggeration.

Not sure I've seen a skirt for a child that isn't short.
Wouldn't it be better just to say trousers only?

To compare the two is bonkers,double standards and an awful minimising of what girls through daily.

How does anybody know that girls aged 10/11 are going through some sort of shaming or fear of their sexuality and attractiveness on a daily basis?
Surely they are just getting on with their lives?

@petrolpump28 because 6 yo are told they can't do cartwheels without shorts under their uniform.
Because of the attitudes on this thread.
Because of what I witnessed myself.

so all girls are going through this angst on a daily basis? Or are they just busy and happy to cover their genitalia?

No one is going around with uncovered genitalia. Not even girls in crop top and mini skirts.

As someone said upthread:

Why does your child want to dress in revealing clothes?
A=They are emulating older girls and young women they see and see it as fashionable.

Why do grown women want to dress in revealing clothes?
A= they are usually promoting their sexuality either online, in a night club or elsewhere and it makes them feel more attractive to men.

It seems to be the fashion that women are becoming more and more defined by their looks- just watch any episode of 'love Island'. I honestly thought in the 1980s when I was at school that by now we would be more equal, but we're not! And women on here are are justifying their daughters sexualised choices rather than educating them otherwise and steering them to a more empowered approach. If you think your girl is 'empowered' and displaying her right as a woman to dress show she wishes because she chooses to wear a crop top and mini-skirt then you are wrong and disillusioned!

I have heard one of these "feminists" describe something similar to this thread, "slut shaming", and then other posters proceeded to copy this phrase. Why does the word slut even come into it? Why would someone advocating children wearing revealing clothes designed for woman be reffering to it as "slut shaming"?

I remember being 14 and buying a skirt for school myself, it was extremely short. My dad was not happy and demanded I take it straight back. After a few arguments my dad left for work and my mum let me wear the skirt, why? Because she knew that I would wear it once and be so uncomfortable being so exposed (in a non beach, swimming pool environment) that I would never wear it again. She was right, I spent the whole day fiddling with it and trying to pull it down and it wasn't even a short as the skirts I see girls wearing to school now. I have actually witnessed arse cheek hanging out, while they just walk along the street. Embarrassing for everyone, just as embarrassing as when I see someone with an arse crack poking out (have noticed this on both men and women).

@rebelrogue the paedophile works on a twisted idea that the children want, invite their attentions. So adding clothes that are designed for adult females to show flesh equals the beginnings of a green light for them. Words quoted by a paedophile, currently being monitored on the register. Not the first time I’d heard it either. I agree about let’s bring boys up etc etc, but it’s not as simple as that. These aren’t learnt behaviours you can ‘train out’ this is centuries old and in many cases unworkable. Paedophiles aren’t ‘turned into paedophiles’ by their upbringing, they just are.

While you wait for Utopia I will educate my dcs on what is, not what should be. The same as I encourage them to work hard at school, it’s unfair some jobs are less valued in society and are paid less but the reality is - they are. Feel free to flash as much as you like, the perverts welcome your ‘right’ to dress as you want!!!!

bunny

Interesting.

I repeatedly read that pedophiles tend to have a certain... 'Favoured' (?) age group they target.

If a 11 yo looks like 14/15... How likely is it that s/he is going to attract the attention of a pedophile?

Then again. Most pedophiles target children they're related to or have a close relationship with.

Do clothes matter in these cases?

If it were a disco I would say it's inappropriate to specify what clothing is or is not appropriate. But it's bowling, which involves bending over while everyone watches you from behind. Flashing knickers to this degree would almost certainly embarrass the wearer, and also the spectators. Some parents might not think this through, and when their daughter (or son) says "Woohoo, party! I'm wearing my shortest skirt!" the parent might not be forward thinking enough to point out that they will have to bend over and lean forward with 7 people watching them from behind. My guess is that they have in the past had girls turn up in their glad rags, find they couldn't bowl without exposing themselves, refuse to participate and possibly get upset -- all because the parent didn't think to send them in shorts or trousers or a long enough skirt.

I don't know why they would specify no crop tops though. That seems weird and unnecessary.

If parents stopped dressing primary school children in clothes more appropriate for young adults, this wouldn't be a problem. Having seen children as young as 5 turn up to school discos with full make up, professional hair and handbags, I can understand where this comes from. We should be protecting little girls innocence because they're children. It's not comfortable for anyone to see their knickers every time they bend over (little girls do this without thinking, or randomly cartwheel) and it's not fair on them. Tbh I put shorts under my DD skirts because otherwise she'd be accidentally flashing all the time!