To say I’m not using Nap Time to do housework?

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old and currently on Maternity Leave.

For three days a week my 4 year old is in childcare all day so I only have both children at home two days a week. On those two days trying to do any form of housework beyond washing up and sorting out laundry is near impossible.

My 10 month old is good with his naps, sleeping an hour in the morning and then 1.5 hours in the afternoon.

During this time I probably should do some of the housework that can’t be done when he’s awake like cleaning the kitchen floors, cleaning the bathrooms, cleaning windows, polishing etc etc but I have no inclination to do so.

I’m usually knackered from a bad night with the baby and I see Nap Time as my only down time. I also use it to pursue my own interest which is writing.

There are lots of things that need doing around the house that I could do whilst my 10 month sleeps but then when would I have me time?

I’m actually considering getting a cleaner even on Maternity Leave which must be lazy of me? I don’t know?

How does everyone else balance doing housework and having down time?

How badly does the baby sleep?

Honestly, I think you are being a bit lazy and I used nap times to do stuff around the house or cook but if you can afford a cleaner then does it matter?! Just get one and be lazy if you want to and who cares what anyone else thinks?

If you need naps for sleeping yourself then absolutely don't do housework.

Currently cuddling a sleeping 4mth old. Kitchen floor is manky. Windows are streaky. Carpet could use a hoover... you get the idea
No fucks given. About to grab my kindle and chill. And she sleeps through so dont even have the bad sleep excuse. Life is too short to have a shiny house. Enjoy ya rest.

I just clean / tidy the house once a week- no more, I would just do it the other days not every day.

Oh god yanbu.

I used the time DH was home spending time with the children to the jobs that I should have been doing during naptime.

Naps were spent watching grey's anatomy and eating swiss roll.

No regrets.

Entirely up to you isn’t it. If you can afford a cleaner then go for it.

Personally I can’t stand an untidy house and aiways did chores while mine slept but it’s your choice.

Get the cleaner

I slept during naptime. Occasionally did some housework if I could be bothered. We all survived. Yanbu

I always napped during nap time! What’s more important? A relaxed happy mummy or an exhausted stroppy one with a tidy (for half an hour) house?

Bless you. During nap time I napped! Go easy on yourself!!

I only have a 10 month old so not exactly the same but I get up 20 minutes before i need to for work, use that time to put a load of washing on and clean the bathroom straight after i’ve brushed my teeth etc. Then work til 10, partner has DS. Have 30ish mins between getting home and taking DP to work, use that to wash pots and hang out the washing.

My DS sleeps for 1 hour in the afternoon and I usually try to chill or have a nap with him. shamelessly I put pawpatrol on the ipad and let him watch that, with a few toys in his cot for about half an hour before his nap. I find this is enough time to hoover everywhere, make beds and wipe surfaces. The house is never absolutely spotless though.

I get one morning off a week, so while my DS eats his breakfast i’ll use that time to clean as well, then the rest gets left til the weekend when DP can play with DS for a while, and i’ll do the deeper cleaning then.

It is hard though and I don’t think I’d do half of this is I had another DC around.

The cleanliness of our houses do not define us, especially when young children live in them. Make the most of your chill out time and don’t worry about it, a week, month, year, 10 years from now it won’t matter

He probably wakes about 3 times a night. On his really bad nights I get about 4-5 hours of broken sleep.

My house isn’t dirty or messy as such, but there are definitely things that I could be doing.

I don’t sleep when the baby sleeps because I really struggle to sleep in the day but I do use the time to just relax.

I think having a clean house is more important than writing whatever it is you're writing. But how messy are we talking? Is the house an absolute state? Or is it just "lived in". If it's a tip, then you should be cleaning. If it's ok, then you and your husband should do a quick clean round when the kids are in bed.

We got a cleaner since I started maternity leave. I nap/rest and sometimes cook.

Don't ask about this on mumsnet. Just do it. You don't need permission and also people will tell you you are being lazy and then you'll feel bad. So don't ask!

I had a cleaner for the first few months of maternity leave and now I use nap time for sleep/shower/watching tv. It's the only rest time of the day, I'm not using it to do cleaning! We clean the kitchen in the evening, together. Everything else waits for the weekend.

Nope you are definitely NBU. I have never used nap time for chores. Mine are now 3.5 and nearly 2 and I do chores while they’re up. It does then good to see me doing things (that’s what I tell myself...!) and it’s the only break I get (albeit that the older one no longer naps anyway).

I find it laughable that on the one hand we’re told that we should allow our children to be ‘bored’ and to occupy themselves, while on the other there’s an expectation that we are with them as shadows every second of the day.

So on the other 3 days, do you do housework?

If you do, I can’t possibly see how the house could get into an absolute state (even with 2 children) on the other 2 days.

You deserve your downtime, enjoy it :)

Cleaning is tedious. If you can afford it, pay someone to do it. Even if this means going without a new frock or a night out! X

YANBU! Just like you, I only find time for the daily chores. Me and DH clean the house together at weekends. I have a 1 year old and don't work. I have playdates and friends come to my house all through the week, no one has ever made a comment about my less than spotless house! I never kept the house spotless before DS, so why start now!? Looking after a child is a full time job, keeping a house is a part time one. Hence why me and DH share the cleaning on the weekend. I think I'm one of the lucky ones whose DH never expects all the housework done by me. He would much rather I was well rested and getting some me time.

Rocinante - Having a tidy house is more important than my writing? Do you say that to every SAHM who dares take time for herself to have a hobby? So we shouldn’t do anything for ourselves and should instead be cleaning the kitchen? Jesus. Nice attitude to have.

The house is just ‘lived in’. During the day I make sure the washing basket is empty, that clean laundry is sorted, that the washing up and drying up has all been done, beds are made and that there isn’t stuff just lying around the house.

I use the time the 4 year old is in the bath to do the ironing as I put the ironing board up directly opposite the bathroom so he’s always in my direct line of vision.

No way! You're dead right. I always napped during nap time.

Get a cleaner and enjoy the rest. Life is too short

You are being the most reasonable human on the planet, ever. The opposite of unreasonable. All mums of babies should use nap time in a way that makes them feel human and refills their cup. For some mums, this will be having a quick tidy round, because that makes them feel like life is normal and calm and tidy. Other mums, watching TV or having a nap themselves.

There is no right answer to this question. And if you can afford a cleaner - and an ironer - do it! This is our one life, and your children's one childhood. Make it the way you want it to be!

I use nap times to lie down or just chill out. It’s literally the only time I get to myself in the day. That way when my son wakes up I am rested and ready to play with him rather than tired and stressed out

Oh judgy people of mumsnet unite.

My house was a tip and I used nap time to play the PlayStation. No one died from a dirty house. I cleaned every now and then. I was relaxed so baby was happy. Now 21 and just finishing a law degree. My house tidiness is still questionable it’s clean ish. And I don’t care, if you come to visit me I have wine, I have chocolate and I may even make cake (don’t panic I will clean the kitchen first) if you don’t like the odd muddle here and there - go visit someone else.