To say I’m not using Nap Time to do housework?

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old and currently on Maternity Leave.

For three days a week my 4 year old is in childcare all day so I only have both children at home two days a week. On those two days trying to do any form of housework beyond washing up and sorting out laundry is near impossible.

My 10 month old is good with his naps, sleeping an hour in the morning and then 1.5 hours in the afternoon.

During this time I probably should do some of the housework that can’t be done when he’s awake like cleaning the kitchen floors, cleaning the bathrooms, cleaning windows, polishing etc etc but I have no inclination to do so.

I’m usually knackered from a bad night with the baby and I see Nap Time as my only down time. I also use it to pursue my own interest which is writing.

There are lots of things that need doing around the house that I could do whilst my 10 month sleeps but then when would I have me time?

I’m actually considering getting a cleaner even on Maternity Leave which must be lazy of me? I don’t know?

How does everyone else balance doing housework and having down time?

Bannisters, door frames, window frames? Hmm, maybe time for their five-yearly clean here!

I have always thought that everyone must be far more organised than me because I bet their bannisters and window frames are cleaner than ours.

I even said to my husband yesterday that I must be failing somewhere if I can’t find the time to keep on top of all the crappy deep clean jobs like other parents do who are at home with children.

One of my friends has got two children, one who has just turned 2 years old and the other is 6 months and her house is like a show home.

My philosophy has always been, if the baby’s asleep then so am I! 😴

No no no you do NOT need to clean at nap time, nap time is the SAHM’s ‘lunch hour’ that your working partner will get daily! I keep meaning to deep clean but when I have time, I don’t have the energy, and vice versa.
PS ignore the sanctimommies who say your writing isn’t important, it so, SO is important for any mum to have their own interests aswell.
Currently relaxing on my bed surrounded by piles of laundry while DH cleans the house whilst simultaneously dances with my little sleep thief. As I am absolutely knackered. We do so much in the day that when I am not stimulating the every fun/educational/basic need of my toddler, I need my rest. DS had a rare nap today and I watched last nights eastenders. Not one fuck given. Get that cleaner.

Nah, doing jobs during nap times sucks. Your DH is right, and so often DHs on here are arses about women on mat leave not doing enough! If you're feeling guilty you could have a list or a board with the minimum you want to do each day on one side and the stuff that needs to be done during the week but anytime on the other (not deep clean stuff...) and tick them off when done. Or stick a wash load or dishwasher load on at nap time and let the machines work while you rest. Then you feel good about getting stuff done and you've done the minimum to stop the house descending into total filth, but you don't need to do anymore.

Small kids are hard, be kind to yourself. They won't remember a slightly less clean than you want house, but they will remember if you do jobs instead of chilling out on your own or with them. And if you can't afford a cleaner do it!!!

Also, appearances are deceptive, your friend's house might be clean but who knows what else might be going on with her or what other help she might have. Don't measure yourself against other people, find the balance that works for you and your family and do that 😁

Look at it this way, if your husband wanted to go to the gym or something for an hour each day, no one would tell him that it’s fine, as long as he’s done all of the house work first.

100% YANBU. I have insisted on a cleaner and will not be doing household jobs on mat leave other than laundry.

I was coming on to post "Dust if you must" but not surprised to see someone has already done it. The only piece of advice I have offered to DDiL since the birth of DGS three months ago is "sleep when he sleeps and forget the rest".

Yanbu. At all.
I have a 6&7 year old and if they're at school and I'm not working do I chuff spend that time mopping floors. Can you see through the windows? Yes? Then they don't need cleaning. Run around with the Hoover every day or so and give the surfaces a quick wipe and you'll be grand. Who needs extra work when you have a baby under 1?!

I am shocked by the responses on this thread as I have become accustomed to bring the only poster on MN who thinks that being on maternity leave or a SAHM doesn't make you a domestic servant. I wonder if the difference here is because there is an option of getting a cleaner? I wonder if you said you were leaving some of the chores for your DH whether you would have got different responses as normally on MN the WOHP is king/queen?

I clean the house once a week - at the weekend when DH is here (or he does it and I look after DS)
Ds is 7 and a half months and will only have a decent nap if he sleeps on me so can't do anything anyway!
Well, I actually use that time to educate myself. Learn a bit of Spanish, free course on open university, watch documentaries on YouTube etc etc
I don't think YABU. You need down time!! It makes you a better mum!

I’m at sahm to a just turned 3 year old and 8 month old. Older one goes to nursery 2 mornings a week and baby is not the greatest sleeper or very consistent napper.

I do the basics - laundry, dishwasher, washing up, cooking, and keeping the kitchen and bathroom non health hazards during the day, but if I do get nap time (and it’s not every day) then I mostly sit with a cup of tea and mn once I’ve done my basic chores. No cleaning of banisters here

When I just had the one child and he would take lovely 2 hour plus naps and sleep through the night then yes I did more housework. But not now - I take my breaks when I can get them!

The jobs you listed are ridiculous. My house is tidy and clean but those jobs are yearly at most!

With DS1 I used to nap in the morning and housework in the afternoon. When his naps changed to 2+hrs in the afternoon I’d do chores for the first hour then relax for the second.

Now there DS2 I and DS1 is in childcare two days a week we have a cleaner. I use my naps for sleeping or catching up on Made In Chelsea. Laundry or other chores other than cleaning get done when they are awake (eg empty dishwasher at lunch while they are both occupied) etc. I tidy in that last 30 mins while they are watching Cbeebies bedtime hour.

DP recently did a few days at home with them both. The house was a shit tip but all the washing was done

cleaning the bannisters, cleaning the door frames, cleaning the oven, emptying and cleaning the fridge, dusting the ceiling, cleaning all the frames of the windows

We don't have kids (although both work fucking long hours) and we don't do any of these on a regular basis once a year

Life's too short to be a martyr to housework. Write

It's each to their own. I always did things while my baby slept. In fact he's recently started not sleeping during the day at all anymore and I'm noticing the difference. I look forward to him going to bed that's for sure.

DS is 14 months and sometimes naps morning for an hour and afternoon for 1.5 to 2 hours. In the morning, his nap allows me to have a shower and get ready for whatever we're doing that morning. In the afternoon I would sometimes do some housework (clean a bathroom or sweep the floor etc) but I sometimes play on my phone, or do some writing myself. As long as your house isn't a hovel then I wouldn't give yourself a hard time. I tend to leave most of the housework to the weekend when DH ca lb watch DS.

I always read my book during nap time; the only me time in the day. No regrets.

You catch up on your sleep when they nap. I used to do chores in the evening.

I used to have the baby napping on me and I watched lots and lots of box sets. My house was a mess.

I miss those days

Hahahahaha at the 'having a clean house is more important than whatever you are writing' comment. Bugger off back to Gilead Commander Waterford - OP yanbu. I could never catch up on sleep during nap time. Do whatever you want to get you sanely through the day and the interrupted nights. There will be plenty of time for cleaning later on. Write a bestseller. Good luck.

You don't need a cleaner you need a better partner

I have always thought that everyone must be far more organised than me because I bet their bannisters and window frames are cleaner than ours. our window frames aren't too bad because I Hoover them. The bannisters and the door frames, however, are in a terrible state with chips and scratches in the paintwork. It does my head in everytime I look at it but cba to gloss because it is the worst household job I can think of. (I did try Tip-Ex once. That didn't work very well!)

I even said to my husband yesterday that I must be failing somewhere if I can’t find the time to keep on top of all the crappy deep clean jobs like other parents do who are at home with children.
One of my friends has got two children, one who has just turned 2 years old and the other is 6 months and her house is like a show home.

That makes me so sad for your friend, and you, for no other reason than when I was depressed after having my youngest I would clean, clean, clean because I felt like a rubbish parent with 2 kids in a relatively untidy house. Anti-d's and CBT helped me see that that's not the case at all. Seriously, looking after your children and yourself is so much more important than tidying your house.

It does my head in everytime I look at it but cba to gloss because it is the worst household job I can think

We've gone for the rustic peeling paint look.......it's actually not as bad as it sounds 😃

Never thought of hoovering windowsills! I might actually have to try that

Yanbu! I have a 9mo and up until recently I’ve been cleaning like mad during nap time but it has got to the point where I’m just exhausted and then really not that fun when he wakes up again. So I’ve getting some down time when he naps and I feel so much better for it. Physical/mental health comes before the cleaning in my opinion. Yeah