To say I’m not using Nap Time to do housework?

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old and currently on Maternity Leave.

For three days a week my 4 year old is in childcare all day so I only have both children at home two days a week. On those two days trying to do any form of housework beyond washing up and sorting out laundry is near impossible.

My 10 month old is good with his naps, sleeping an hour in the morning and then 1.5 hours in the afternoon.

During this time I probably should do some of the housework that can’t be done when he’s awake like cleaning the kitchen floors, cleaning the bathrooms, cleaning windows, polishing etc etc but I have no inclination to do so.

I’m usually knackered from a bad night with the baby and I see Nap Time as my only down time. I also use it to pursue my own interest which is writing.

There are lots of things that need doing around the house that I could do whilst my 10 month sleeps but then when would I have me time?

I’m actually considering getting a cleaner even on Maternity Leave which must be lazy of me? I don’t know?

How does everyone else balance doing housework and having down time?

Also, re-define the writing as 'work' or 'training' even if it never will be really. Makes it sounds more productive as if it's progressing towards soemthing. The thing is though, it is. Continuous Professional Development in being an intellectually functioning adult.

Lots of people go to work to get that change of focus and keep themselves functioning mentally and socially. I think the phrase 'a change is as good as a rest' is very relevant to mental activity and baby care.

Thanks everyone - I genuinely was expecting to be told I was being a bit lazy and so then be inspired to do the housework but I guess not

I think having a clean house is more important than writing whatever it is you're writing.

This is one of the most depressing things I've ever read on Mumsnet, and that's quite a high bar.

You are doing EXACTLY what you should be doing, which is to look after yourself.
Please do carry on doing your writing!

I’ve alwys said to H that whilst in ML, my role is to look after the dcs,not clean the house.
He wouldn’t want to see a CM or a nanny spend their days cleaning p, ironing etc... whilst ignoring the children. Well I’m doing the same. I’m concentrating on the dcs, giving them my time and attention, which is whatbthey needthe most.
HW and cleaning has to fit around that, just like if I was working full time too.
And yes that means he has to chip in.

When my twins nap I read / browse the net etc. And habe a cuppa and snack in peace. I might wash the dishes or peg out some laundry, 10 mins at most. Yanbu x

Are you on Maternity Leave or housekeeping leave?!?! Did you take leave from work to concentrate on you and the baby, or to do the washing up?

If you need to rest, rest. If you rest by writing, then write. The housework will still be there later on. It always is!

YANBU.

If you can afford the cleaner, do it.

Absolutely no reason to judge yourself, or anyone else to do so.

Investing in writing and your own well being will pay you back many times over when your kids are older, trust me!

Have a cleaner.... Enjoy your writing and your baby...

People who judge? They're people who say things like 'cleanliness is next to godliness...'....

Do what's important for you.

My DD is 8 weeks old, and I've given in and booked a cleaner, there's so many things I'd rather be doing with my maternity leave than cleaning...! And nap times are for playing on MN!

You are NOT being lazy! Sod the house work and have a nap. My mum always says 'as long as the bathroom and kitchen are clean the rest doesn't matter' and mums are always right! Your sanity and health is way more important than a clean house......polishing? I haven't done that in years haha

Give yourself a break, you are doing a great job looking after 2 kids. Well done! Now go have a nap xx

It depends how much sleep you're getting at night, if the nights are hard going then definitely use nap times to do something you enjoy or sleep yourself as you deserve a break and it's good for MH. I've always done cleaning/gardening/laundry during nap time and now it's a habit I can't break. My son naps for 3 hours now so I can clean the whole house (in silence with tip toes) but he's 2 and can destroy 3 hours work in about 20 minutes so it's pointless.

I have a 9month old who has just started crawling, I use nap times to clean as I’m absolutely not interested in living in a filthy house.

Get a cleaner if you want down time.

Yes get a cleaner.

And think about whether you really need to iron. Give the clothes a good shake when they come out of the washing machine and hang up to dry so they aren’t crumpled in any way. They’ll be fine not to iron then.

Similar if you have a tumble dryer. Give the clothes a good shake when they come out, straight into a hanger, they’ll be fine.

If you’re ironing your DPs shirts, he can do them himself.

YANBU I don't understand why some women have dc and become robotic, thinking you have to be working for the good of the family all the time.
You need downtime or time to pursue your own interests and if that is writing then you should make time imo.
housework can wait, it's not important in the grand scheme of things.

Life is too short to feel guilty about this. Enjoy your brief hour! If you can afford it, get a cleaner.

YANBU! My DD is 13 months, had a full year for mat leave. Had a cleaner since she was about 4 weeks old! I can't even say I'm tired as she sleeps well.

I hoover / tidy / keep on top of washing daily, but nap times are used for me to have a cup of tea, biscuits, and generally chill out! No need to feel guilty for that. As PP have said, life is too short.

YANBU. Personally, I use nap time to do housework, sort bottles etc, but that’s because I feel unsettled in a messy house (guess I’m always on edge because I just seem to maintain status quo not improve things!) and have found if I don’t the place goes to hell in a handbag pretty quickly.

However, if I ever manage to de clutter properly, nap times will be used by me to do whatever I want, completely guilt free.

If you can afford it, definitely get a cleaner, life is way too short!

I had a cleaner when on mat leave and I only had one child to look after! Do it - life it too short to worry about cleaning. Enjoy the down time - i had a crap sleeper too and i know how exhausting it can be.

YABU. You’re a woman and you somehow think you’re entitled to have hobbies and interests other than childrearing and cleaning? What is the world coming to?

The only thing you are being unreasonable about is asking MN whether you are being unreasonable. You don’t need anyone else’s permission. Get on and do what’s right for you.

By the way, my MiL is one of those people who believes a clean house should come above all else and she’s spent her entire life coating things in antibac spray. Both her adult sons now have serious autoimmune conditions - which research now suggests could be due to growing up in an overly sterile environment.

I nap when baby naps. He's 10 months old and still wake 4 times or so at night, and I do all night wakings.
I get the jobs done when DH comes home from work so they get time together aswell.

If you can afford the cleaner, go for it.
DD was a very bad sleeper and always hungry. I have fibromyalgia and bad migraines and the c-section and the hormonal changes totally wrecked. I was a total zombie due to broken sleep, also I found it difficult to get used to being at home after years of studying and working.
I tried to do everything during her nap times but it only made me more tired. I envy women who would tell you the stories of having 3 or 4 children and never having a time when they felt like they're going to collapse due to the lack of sleep - it's not for me. I am full time working now and have a cleaner and sod everybody telling me how they are doing the cleaning in the house when they return from work/during the weekends/early in the morning etc. because I want to spend my time with the family and be outside the house instead of running around with a vacuum cleaner.
Go for it if you can afford it and don't think twice. There's a reason why women who can afford it have cleaners, housekeepers etc. It makes your life much easier.

With so little sleep at night, no of course YANBU. There is no legitimate argument that you are.

Totally not unreasonable. I always opted for a mix of chores/jobs and downtime while mine napped. But then clutter and dirt makes me anxious.

DD is currently napping in her pram, I've just finished a nice coffee and some cake!

We got a cleaner five weeks after our baby was born. Best thing we ever did! Not that you need MN permission, but just do it.