To say I’m not using Nap Time to do housework?

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old and currently on Maternity Leave.

For three days a week my 4 year old is in childcare all day so I only have both children at home two days a week. On those two days trying to do any form of housework beyond washing up and sorting out laundry is near impossible.

My 10 month old is good with his naps, sleeping an hour in the morning and then 1.5 hours in the afternoon.

During this time I probably should do some of the housework that can’t be done when he’s awake like cleaning the kitchen floors, cleaning the bathrooms, cleaning windows, polishing etc etc but I have no inclination to do so.

I’m usually knackered from a bad night with the baby and I see Nap Time as my only down time. I also use it to pursue my own interest which is writing.

There are lots of things that need doing around the house that I could do whilst my 10 month sleeps but then when would I have me time?

I’m actually considering getting a cleaner even on Maternity Leave which must be lazy of me? I don’t know?

How does everyone else balance doing housework and having down time?

Your money - do what you want with it.

Seems a bit of a waste to spend maternity leave cleaning windows ?

Haven’t read all the comments but... those early years are really really hard. When you’re knackered, you’re knackered. I hate how we are pushed to be superwoman. Get a cleaner. Put yourself first. Life is too short for the guilt and the exhaustion xx

do little and often for yourself as much as anything.as you walk by something or wiping clean the top when you might just leave it can be so refreshing and take two seconds.
but if you can afford a cleaner.then do it.even if you weren't knackered and wanted one then it would be perfectly fine hun.i hate there is shame about it never mind being a mum and as tired as you are.
get one in.stop umming and arrring stop thinking just do.no question.no guilt AT ALL. you need to be the best you right now.and that means doing all you can to feel safe.settle and as stress free as possible.
take all the moments you can to nap and catch up on sleep.even if its just sitting with little one on you stroking his head as you look out the window.just keep using those little moment to take it all in and wind down.its always ok to release and relax expecially as mum.your working hard just from being one of them.mentally at this age too your having to have your own thoughts and your dcs so your mind will be chocker.cleaning doesn't need to be another thought if it doesn't need to be.
don't let it get out of hand though if you can.do the bits you can when you can.but not over your wellbeing.get that cleaner in.if you like the blitz they did then go from there.
having it tidier too might help motivate you to do the bits you can.itl feel so fresh and like a weights been lifted.

YANBU
Look after yourself - no one else wiil and you are no use to anyone if your shattered.

Nap time important and sacrosanct

Meh I got a cleaner as soon as I had 2 dc and spent nap time drinking tea and watching netflix. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks!

I did nap when he napped this afternoon and it’s the first time in months and months that I’ve done that - I could barely keep my eyes open. I got about an hours sleep so that and the 30 minute I got this morning has made me feel much more human.

I did the washing up when I woke up and that’s about it for today

When I ran the bath for them I intended to give the bathroom and toilet a once over whilst supervising them but then my 4 year old begged me to get in with them and that sounded much more fun than cleaning. As a result the bathroom is messier and wetter than it was before but we had lots of fun playing silly games with bubbles

I haven’t done any writing for a few days because I’ve been so tired but I’m feeling a bit rejuvenated now so I will do a bit more tonight when they’re in bed.

This thread has definitely made me feel less guilty so thanks!!

My DD has similar naps. I tend to spend the first 15 minutes doing some sort of chore so I don’t feel guilty sitting on my arse watching tv and mumsnetting for the rest of time. Sometimes I get motivated and actually do longer (in which case the afternoon nap is completely my time). Other times there isn’t a hope I’m doing anything other than recuperating and rejoicing that she’s finally given in and gone to sleep. I don’t think it has to be clean for the whole nap or chill for the whole nap. A bit of both def works for me. DD will happily entertain herself in her room / living room for a decent chunk in the morning so I try and get the essentials done then when she doesn’t want much attention.

As long as you aren’t living in such a state that SS would take the kids I don’t think you need to feel guilty for using that little portion of free time however you want. I personally couldn’t have justified a cleaner on mat pay but if I could have I definitely would have done it!

I use naptime for naps/watching tv myself. I do make sure 'chores' are done when baby is awake though. He loves being chased round with the vaccum, or playing on the grass while I hang out the washing etc. I wipe the bathroom while he is in the bath etc. But when he is asleep, it is me time!

queenofmyprinces get some flash bathroom spray it is the best thing ever.then even when your wanting to get in the bath and play all you need to do is quickly spritz it round go and play then wash it all away.works wonders.

I have just posted about my DH moaning about housework when I am pregnant and care for two Ds, I still get woken about four times a night by my two year old and work and he still thinks I should be doing more even though I am currently sick as a dog and tired. Where did you find your husband and what are his thoughts on a cleaner? Mine wouldnt even entertain the idea with us both working.

also get one of those old style hand held hoover.the dc loves to go round with you snuffling up crumbs.they love having their own hoover and really enjoy cleaning with it!

I'm on maternity leave for the third time. I haven't, and never will,do any form of chore whilst anyone naps. I may do the dishwasher but I've timed it and I can unload and reload in ten mins which is enough of my time doing stuff I don't want to! The rest of the time I sleep/watch telly/read/blog.....anything for me. Older ones are at school and part time at nursery so the place is a tad untidy and a bit hairy from the dog.

YANBU!!! You totally need you time!

I also have a cleaning lady, once a week and she does ironing too!! And no, we're not minted.

Do whatever works for you! Always be kind to yourself, it's the only way to ensure you're always kind to others!

I use naptime to recover from the previous three hours of looking after a child that is half hyperactive ferret and half wallaby in a hurricane.

I basically just sit at my kitchen table with a cup of tea, staring into space in shock.

I send my ironing out and would get a cleaner if we could stretch to it. Life's too short.

This!

Don't even think about it - get a cleaner, even once a week would make a difference (if finances allow)

FormerlyPicking

😂😂😂 so know that feeling!

eden

I found him online

It sounds like you’re having a really tough time and I can’t believe your husband is being such a twat. (Sorry).

My DH does all the childminder drop offs and picks ups, he does the weekly supermarket shop and does the majority of the cooking. He also lets me have lie-ins on both weekend mornings and makes me a cooked breakfast on both days too. He also takes both boys out on his own on Saturday and Sunday for 2-3 hours to give me a break.

I’m very lucky that he’s so understanding about how tired I am all the time and also how much time the children take up. He would ever, ever pass comment to me about any housework that hasn’t been done or imply I should have done something, it just wouldn’t be on his radar. I’m very fortunate that he takes on his fair share of the child related things too, he’s a great dad.

It sounds like your husband doesn’t appreciate how hard it is looking after children, does he ever look after them on his own?

I have 3 kids and somehow manage to clean, feed and have some downtime. My youngest is 19 weeks. You just manage. Somehow....most of the time😂

YANBU!

I used nap times with my LO to catch up on sleep!

No fucks given, I needed the catch up sleep to help me function properly and not be grumpy all the time.

It's such a personal thing in terms of doing housework/household tasks etc.

Letting things slide on maternity leave, esp with an older child too, is completely understandable (IMO)

My LO is now 4 and number 2 due imminently. If things get too much to manage at home, we would consider paying a cleaner.

I think it's a bit judgemental of other posters saying you are lazy etc.

How much housework/cleaning does your partner do? If it's all shared equally fair enough.

But if you're looking after both the children and doing all the housework/cooking/shopping then I, personally, don't think that's very fair.

OMG I should have gone on line, met mine at University, I was young...No he very rarely has both of them on his own. Your husband is a keeper, way too many selfish men about. Does your husband have a stressful job? Mine uses that as an -excuse- reas cpmplain. on to

excuse typos keyboard went crazy

Get a cleaner if you can afford it and don't feel guilty. I had one whilst I was on maternity leave and still have one now even though I don't work and have one child at school and one in pre school 3 days a week. My cleaner does four hours every two weeks, I'm spending plenty of time doing laundry, gardening, DIY and day to day cleaning so don't consider myself lazy or feel guilty in the slightest. I have some time for my interests and can have quality downtime with the kids and my husband on the weekend without worrying about the housework. Do whatever makes life easier I think.

I have a cleaner, I use nap time to relax, nap myself or shower. I work part time and I don’t feel like the housework is more my responsibility than my husbands. He doesn’t want to do it, I need my me time, so we outsource! I’m definately not lazy, raising kids is hard. Get a cleaner!

formerlypickingoakum fantastic line