I am quite heartened by this thread. I've been sticking my head above the parapet in the feminist chat board and it's really really hard going in there for any sort of ally to trans people.
The sort of posts I tend to challenge are clearly and evidently hostile and prejudiced towards trans people. I've given up even trying to go against the tide of the general tone in there. That horse bolted long ago. I'm not going to give examples here, but feel free to search my username and follow the trail. Some of it is breathtakingly transphobic, and that's not a word I use lightly.
For my pains, I've been called a man, and MRA, a TRA, a troll, a handmaiden, careless of the rights of women and children, hopelessly niaive, misogynist, not a feminist, a seagull, a plopper, a brigadier. I've been laughed at, snarked at by a whole big gang of posters, accused of being goady, a plant, friend to TRAs who hate women, supporter of child abusers. I've been piled on, openly ignored, scorned and insulted. If I say that I find the board to be hostile to trans allies I'm shouted down and abused, if I quote certain posters I'm accused of being part of a coordinated targeting attack, and of silencing of women.
I've seen said in there many times that differing viewpoints are welcomed, but that is not my experience at all. Apparently that's because I'm a troll and incapable of intelligent discussion (I'm paraphrasing here).
Regular posters on the board repeatedly asked for clarification of limits on what was acceptable. Now that mn have done that, and included some things the fem board regular Gender critical posters specifically asked for, there is uproar, mudslinging at MNHQ, and allegations of corrupt or cowardly moderation, misquoting of the guidelines etc etc.
I honestly haven't a clue how MNHQ are keeping patience in the face of it. They have stuck their necks out and resisted external pressure for a long time, worked hard to reach a compromise position to permit continued discussion, and this is the outcome. Not content with stirring up rebellion in the fem boards, the GC regulars seem to want the whole of mn to rise up in their defence.
To me it now seems like one of those situations where a group has been given leeway on some points, and have now taken that to be a right to go further, and further in that vein, and now refuse totally to accept or acknowledge that they've gone too far. It's like trying to join in a conversation with the mean girls in the school playground, and the people in the receiving end of the nastiness are all too frequently real , named people, including children and parents living the reality of having a family member who is trans.
I've kept going so far because I just can't bear to leave it unchallenged when it goes so far, but goodness me it's tough. I totally get why others have simply left the feminist boards entirely, and that's a great pity, to be driven away.