To think you don't have a party at home beyond 11pm?

[critiqueofeveryday]

Neighbours in the next street (!) had a party on Saturday night in their garden. The noise started out at reasonable levels at 7pm. Predictably, as they drank into the night, voices got louder, and then the turned up the music to compensate.

We have really, really good double glazing and external insulation. We had all the windows shut, and we were still kept awake until they finally decided to pack up at 3am.

AIBU to think that's it's unacceptable to have loud, late night parties at home? I mean, this is literally what late night licensed pubs and bars are for, right? Why, why, why have it in your own garden, when you must know you are disturbing a whole neighbourhood?

OP most will agree that it is inconsiderate to have loud music late at night, but you lost your own argument when you started slating all parties at home as cheap and skanky!

Oh, and I tried both earplugs and white noise. You could hear the music through it, largely because it had a deep carrying bass.

Why are so many people having a go at the OP.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect people to move indoors at 11 and to keep the music down from about 12. It's also polite to let the neighbours know, in advance, that there'll be a party on Saturday night but the music will definitely be turned down by midnight. A courtesy like that goes a long way towards maintaining a good atmosphere and getting a bit of tolerance from the neighbours.

Outlook - It's really about timings. Quiet parties that don't impinge on neighbours - fine at any time of day/night (who would know they were even happening if they're quiet!) Really loud parties with music blaring - not fine after 11pm.

I do think it's skanky to keep neighbours awake til the wee small hours. Nothing is gonna change my conviction on that. Tolerance means respecting other people's right to some peace and quiet, as well as giving a bit of leeway on noise in the early evening.

YABVVVVVVU
It isn’t a regular occurrence. You sound highly strung and boring

why are so many people having a go at the OP

I shall hazard a guess that the constant use of the words 'cheap' & 'skanky' have contributed to this, alongside the implication that having gatherings at home are somehow for the poor folk that can't or won't justify spending stupid amount of £££s to hire some fancy hall....

Haribo - Yes, good point. As someone said upthread, on a country estate with no neighbours, it's not an issue. I'm in an estate of semis/terraces/low rise flats, pretty dense housing in a large post-industrial city.

The top room of a pub is mostly free because of the bar income. Where people can't afford to put a few hundred quid behind the bar or want to make the party cheaper for their friends too, they have a house party.

If you are being kept awake by parties on 300+ nights of the year then I agree that something needs to change, but if this is a one off then maybe just let it go and have an early night tonight? Not everyone lives like you after all, and a one-off late finishing house party doesn't make people 'scumbags' (quoting another poster, not the OP).

I think you lost a lot of people with your assertion that house parties are cheap and skanky and your comments about hiring a venue and putting a few hundred quid behind the bar.

Definitively report to the council, it is absolutely unacceptable. If people want to have parties through the night, they can move in the middle of nowhere where they don't disturb anyone. It's out of order in a residential location.

There's a huge difference with a barbecue, people talking reasonably in the garden at 8pm, and quieten down at 9pm and loud music all night long. It's rude to have loud music at any time anyway, and you CAN complain to the council anyway. you might not go anywhere, but if several people do complain, they will do something.
Even people holding sport classes in a rented hall can get in trouble if they open the windows and neighbours can hear music at 10am or 6pm, so there's no reason why individual will have more rights.

Of course, if people think it's ok to disturb their neighbours because they want to hold a party, they are CF. There's never an acceptable day to keep your neighbours awake.

AIBU to think that you are averse to the odd bit of noise and the odd house party that you should buy a house rurally outside a busy community with 50 houses nearby

To those in the country, sound carries very far. When I was in the country I could hear parties taking place a couple of miles away. It sounded like someone was sitting outside our house with the car radio blaring. But it was once in a blue moon. So I said nothing.

Wow what a snob you are OP

"having gatherings at home are somehow for the poor folk that can't or won't justify spending stupid amount of £££s to hire some fancy hall"

I definitely didn't mean to suggest that this was a "poor person's thing". I'm white working class by background myself. What I meant was that if you insist on having a late loud party, you should stump up some cash for an appropriate venue, rather than expecting your neighbours to put up wiht your noise. The cost issue is a moot point because you can hire the upstairs of a nice pub up the road for a fiver. If someone can't afford a fiver, I doubt then can afford to throw a party in the first place.

Stop having a go at the OP, lack of sleep makes people cranky. Blame her neighbours for keeping her up all night

And the more the OP says about the one party she is complaining about, then the more I agree with her. If she was complaining just about this one party I think most would agree with her. But her overall goadiness of no parties at all after 11pm is not okay.

I didn't say no parties after 11pm, crunchy - I'm fine with them continuing INDOORS with doors and windows SHUT and music DOWN!

I clearly live in the wrong area...definitely costs more than a fiver to hire out the pubs round here!!

The wording of my AIBU was really clear: 'AIBU to think that's it's unacceptable to have loud, late night parties at home'

I’m not sure how your race is relevant...or am I missing a point?

I felt sympathy for you originally OP, we have all felt frustrated by party noise at one point or another and it can be really disruptive.

But writing off people having house parties as tacky and skanky etc is really uncalled for. Not everyone can afford venue hire or to buy drinks at bar prices all night - sometimes you just wanted to bring a bottle to a friend's and have a nice time.

As long as its on a Friday or Saturday then I cant see the problem- sounds like you have nice neighbours for not doing this on a weekday!

mustbemad - It's actually no cost at all for a lot of pubs in the city.

Given that it was a Saturday night and presumably a one off you are being very unreasonable.

Not all of us have the money to hire out a venue every time we want to celebrate something. Perhaps you should reconsider moving to an isolated location so you don't have to mix with us mere peasants in the future.