To think you don't have a party at home beyond 11pm?

[critiqueofeveryday]

Neighbours in the next street (!) had a party on Saturday night in their garden. The noise started out at reasonable levels at 7pm. Predictably, as they drank into the night, voices got louder, and then the turned up the music to compensate.

We have really, really good double glazing and external insulation. We had all the windows shut, and we were still kept awake until they finally decided to pack up at 3am.

AIBU to think that's it's unacceptable to have loud, late night parties at home? I mean, this is literally what late night licensed pubs and bars are for, right? Why, why, why have it in your own garden, when you must know you are disturbing a whole neighbourhood?

Yeah i don't live in the city. Everything costs to hire here. I'll stick to using my garden as a venue i think!!

Every single room above the pub or club is skanky.

You sound very unreasonable.

What did the neighbours say when you asked them to turn the music down?

after midnight in a built up area I think noise levels should be kept down. it is selfish not to

Surely you could complain to the council, and if it persists they will impose sanctions, If someone is making a noise disturbance late at night you can complain to the police as its a public order issue, but I mean you didn't ask then to turn it down or shut the hell up so are they meant to be mind readers! as you've said there was plenty of drink it makes you unaware of whats reasonable as does the lack of sleep!

I’m with you OP. YANBU and I think you have been subjected to unnecessary and harsh criticisms.

Basically to keep everyone in the near vicinity awake until the early hours shows a real fuck you attitude of your neighbours and is inconsiderate as hell. You are right that if they want to make a lot of noise there are other places to do this.

I live in a student area and the universities are really cracking down on noise abuse. You neighbours have shown they have little consideration for anyone other than themselves and this speaks volumes about the kind of people they are.

But calling folk skanky is necessary???

Good grief am I glad I live in a busy residential area but with considerate neighbours! People who are not dumb enough to think that it's ok to make noise on Fridays or Saturdays, some people do work at weekends and need sleep, others are unwell and need rest, and people have a general right to enjoy peace and quiet in their own home.

You can't complain if you decide to buy a house right next to a hall which is being rented for parties - and even those have a time limit. You absolutely can compain if someone is creating unreasonable noise, even at 11pm let alone 3am.

Would people happy about music all night be also happy about gardening or building noise from 5am on Sunday? I bet not. You can't have it both ways, either you are considerate of your neighbours, or you are happy with any noise. Whats the difference though?

I took it that the OP meant it was cheap and skanky to have loud boozy parties with people shouting and roaring out in the garden until all hours, and making no attempt to turn the music down or go indoors after a certain time. Not that having a party at home, letting the neighbours know and going inside and keeping the music low was cheap and skanky.

user - Yes, thank you so much, that's exactly what I mean. I phrased it very poorly though, which is my bad. In my defence, I am SO TIRED! I have had terrible cold, and a diagnosis of really bad pernicious anaemia in the last 4 days, so I am dealing very badly with the lack of rest.

I mean you didn't ask then to turn it down or shut the hell up so are they meant to be mind readers
No one with half a brain will think that's it's ok to disturb their neighbours, they do it willingly because they don't give a damn about anyone else. I bet they would be the first to complain if you wake them up at 6am every Sunday.

It's can be quite intimidating to go on your own in a house full of clearly rude people, likely drunk, you can't expect people to risk going into a fight. If you have kids at home, you can't leave them alone whilst you start arguing with the neighbours down the road.

(In case anyone thinks those are convenient excuses I'm wheeling out, I made a thread about the diagnosis last week, way before I made this one!)

Yanbu. The n no way is it acceptable to make noise after 11 that will disturb neighbours. Just as it’s not acceptable to blare music out in your back garden everytime the sun shines, park over people’s drives, play music or watch movies on public transport with no headphones, throw litter on the floor, not pick up dog poo, put feet ontrain seats but people do it, people excuse it, kidstgen think it’s fine and society becomes even more annoying for the majority who are not selfish cunts

Venues that are very cheap to hire usually make up the difference from the extra drinks they sell, and possibly catering; it's a LOT more expensive for everyone to drink at pub prices. They also need to close at certain times so you just can't carry on as late as you want, even if that carrying on is quietly talking over a brandy. Then you have travel issues, everyone needs to get a cab home (another expense) rather than just crashing at the party, even worse if you've travelled a fair distance for e.g. an engagement or an 18th birthday.

I have nearby neighbours who have children's garden parties that seem to start with the music, shrieking and laughing at about 8am on Sunday mornings, at least 8-10 weekends a year. These go on until after dark (around 9pm this time of year), which I find incredibly annoying & have been known to wake me up early despite them being behind my house and me having no windows open at the back. I think that is just as inconsiderate.

A hotel down the road from us (in the countryside), likes to let off fireworks for weddings at 11pm at night. They are twats!

It was on a Saturday night. That is appropriate. One wonders how the OP would react if it were during a weekday. FFS most people would expect loud parties on the weekend. OP you sound very strange, very socially awkward and yes you are being very VERY VERY Unreasonable.

The thing that annoys me is that they don't know any of us. They live in the next road and have not become part of the neighbourhood. They don't know I have pernicious anaemia and am struggling this week. More seriously, they don't know my neighbour had a stroke 6 months ago and had to give up work, and is struggling to adjust between her old routine of nights and a new daytime routine of care. They don't know my neighbour over the street has bad prostate cancer and is often in bed at 9pm because he's so tired by the treatment.

And you can say "Well, those things are normal" - and they ARE. That's the point. If you took any 150 house area in the country, you'd find people who are sick or having a rough time in those households. It's not rocket science to think that you should therefore, as a matter of routine, try not to disturb people after midnight.

They don't give a shit about any of us - their right to blare music and shout to each other in the garden til 3am is more important to them. It's so selfish. And it IS skanky behaviour.

We have house parties several times a year. So do our neighbours. We don’t have a few hundred quid to stick behind a bar, we buy some bottles of wine and pop, and a couple of crates of beer. This is a residential neighborhood and everyone is fine with a little evening noise as long as it is not excessive or really late. I get my guests to come in about 11 and we keep the music to a reasonable level. TBH the biggest disturbance in our area isn’t parties, it’s the possibly mentally unwell elderly man near us who sits in his garden ranting his head off late into the night.

It's all about compromise. If you want to have a really loud party that goes on until all hours hire a suitable venue.

If you don't want to do that, or can't afford to, then accept that having a party at home will have limits if you don't want to be an annoying and selfish neighbour.

That means bringing everyone indoors at a certain time and turning the music down; not having it during the week when people have to be up for school or work; and letting the neighbours know in advance.

A compromise a lot of people make nowadays is having a party at home until 11 or 12 and then heading off to a night club.

There's options, and communication and meeting people half way; and there's taking the attitude that if you want to have a party you have a right to have a party and anyone who objects is just being grumpy and contrary. The former make good neighbours, the latter make bad neighbours.

FFS most people would expect loud parties on the weekend. OP you sound very strange, very socially awkward

what on earth are you talking about?
most people DO NOT expect loud parties, most people have manners and are respectful. The socially awkwards ones are the disrupting twats, not the people trying to live in peace.

Would you enjoy banging and shouting from 5am every weekend? I am guessing not. What's the difference.

user - for a reasonable fee, will you just write my posts for me? You say what I want to say, but in a much more articulate and nuanced manner!

Meh, I also think you're being unreasonable although understand you're annoyed as you're unwell.

A party a few times a year is normal for most people. I do it, my elderly neighbours do it, mine have been known to go onto five am, although I do take care to turn the music down and try to manage noise levels after midnight.

I hear my neighbours do it and I simply hope they have fun. As long as it's not very regularly as in every weekend, I'm ok with it.

I certainly wouldn't consider hiring a venue whenever I wanted a bit of a get together and I wouldn't expect others to. I certainly wouldn't expect a party to end at 11 pm and don't know any one in real life who would.

We have house parties all the time in our house. Our house is much bigger and nicer than a skanky pub or club and we have a hot tub n the garden that we all sit in. We turn things down at 11 but usually goes on till 2-3am.

If it was new year would you be as annoyed?

Moving it indoors could cause problems with music and bass vibrations up the walls- you didn’t want the party to
move inside, you wanted it to end!

critiqueofeveryday

onlyfools - no, absolutely not. NYE I expect racket all night!

You obviously need to turn music down as you move it inside!! That's the whole point.