To think you don't have a party at home beyond 11pm?

[critiqueofeveryday]

Neighbours in the next street (!) had a party on Saturday night in their garden. The noise started out at reasonable levels at 7pm. Predictably, as they drank into the night, voices got louder, and then the turned up the music to compensate.

We have really, really good double glazing and external insulation. We had all the windows shut, and we were still kept awake until they finally decided to pack up at 3am.

AIBU to think that's it's unacceptable to have loud, late night parties at home? I mean, this is literally what late night licensed pubs and bars are for, right? Why, why, why have it in your own garden, when you must know you are disturbing a whole neighbourhood?

What a load of bloody nonsense. How does having a party at home make you cheap and skanky? Entertaining people in your home is quite an ordinary thing to do.

In my view this is just what being in a neighborhood is like. Sometimes your neighbors piss you off, either call the police and do something about it or move to a field somewhere you don't have to tolerate other people existing.

The point you're deliberately missing is they wish the consideration to be all their way, and all the time.

I am not deliberately missing any point.

I don't particularly want to hear any loud parties at any time of day really, but I accept that they happen and before 11pm they have the right to make noise, no matter how annoying. So, I don't expect to get it all my way, but I do expect to be able to sleep and not be kept awake due to neighbour's noisy parties.

I have every right to not be kept awake at night by parties and so do my children. I shouldn't have to go to work shit faced because I have been kept up until stupid 0 clock in the morning. Why should I have to feel like crap the next day just because you wanted to make a load of noise after 11pm? You honestly think that is fair?

Having a loud party and making whatever noise you like and then taking it indoors after 11pm is perfect compromise, but clearly that is not good enough for some. You want to continue with your noise until you are ready to end the party.

No you're right I don't get it and I will happily continue to not get it.

There are five houses where I live on a private road. I have occassional parties, as do my neighbours, they all go on into the wee small hours, we all get on just fine, well in fact, and we all have no issue with it

We are friendly to one another, help each other out, and if one of us wishes to have a party into the wee small hours, the rest of us accept that it's not regular and give them consideration to party as they please, we simply hope they have fun.

That's what mutual consideration is. Not demanding that there is never ever any noise to disturb after 11 pm. Not deciding they are skanky, cheap or shit parents because of it. Not deciding it's always all about me and their wants are irrelevant.

So if that's me not getting it, then yeah, count me and my neighbours who rub along nicely together, have the occassional parties, as not getting it. I'm happy with that.

volder why do you care that the OP thinks home parties are cheap and skanky? You seem very upset about it.

Half of MN thinks I am tacky because I have a feature wall I wouldn't get upset by it.

Oh and to address the earlier comments about going round your neighbours and politely asking them to turn the music down, the one time DH tried that it didn't end well. IME people who are drunk and making loud noise late at night do not care enough if it disturbs people. After all, they don't need someone to tell them they are keeping people awake, it is pretty bloody obvious.

That's great for you then Bluntness you are lucky to have neighbours who don't care. Crack on.

However, others have neighbours who do care due to having young children, different working patterns, and various other reasons. If your neighbours all agree it isn't an issue and are all happy for you to have the odd loud party then they aren't the people we are talking about are they?

volder just enjoy your party, I bet it will be amazing.

I agree with the OP in the main but also agree that she sounds like a snob. Don't let her opinion taint your excitement. It isn't ruined because of someone else's opinion on MN. You don't have to let it ruin it.

And huge congratulations to your child. I can tell how rightfully proud you are

I have gone without so much to put this cheap skanky event on.

Seriously, you are giving a stranger way too much power. I say this with kindness but if someone's opinion is going to make you feel so shit and stop you from enjoying something you were looking forward to then I would leave the thread. It is one opinion out of many that the majority disagreed with.

Would you put a note through all your neighbours' doors telling them that it is your personal choice that they and their babies/children/elderly./sick relatives should have nothing to eat and drink until you decide they can?
Of course not.
So why is OK to keep them awake (sleep is also a basic human need) until you decide the party is over and they may now sleep?

But it's not just me, that's my point, my neighbours also have parties. One has a birthday bbq each year that turns into a disco that goes on till early morning. Another as I said had folks over a couple of weeks ago and was blaring out Cher at one in the morning, another likes to let fire works off in the wee small hours when they are celebrating something.

It's occassional. I don't care. They are fab neighbours. I've no issue with it at all. As they don't take issue when I do it, because we don't to it a lot. It's not every weekend, and we all view it as because it's occassional and we are considerate the rest of the time, then it's fine for them to have a party now and again.

You don't like it and would consider them cheap skanks and shit parents. That's fine. I'm not ever going to agree with you on that. So you crack on with hating on your neighbours. Demanding you're not disturbed after 11 pm ever.

Me, I will continue to live and let live.

You don't like it and would consider them cheap skanks and shit parents.

Where did I ever say any of that?

I didn't. Don't pretend that I did, that just isn't fair.

Gosh this thread has descended into a bunfight, hasn't it?

Reading it back, it seems to me that pretty much everyone is saying something similar though and the ones getting angry are talking more extreme inconsiderate party behaviour than those who are having parties in here mention.

Everyone seems to be saying same thing...
Be nice to your neighbours, invite them, prewarn them, stop the outside music and keep it down by 11pm, and take it inside by 12, if you are doing a house party.

I don't think anyone here is agreeing that playing loud music & shrieking in the garden at 2-3am (and not being considerate of neighbours who might want to sleep) is acceptable or a kind thing to do at all.

I personally enjoy hearing music (maybe not rap!) and laughter noise when my neighbours have their occasional parties. However, they aren't unreasonable about it and I don't begrudge them their celebrations at all.

I had far more disturbance from noisy previous NDNs with loud TVs on at 1- 3am nightly, noisy pub revellers on way home, Peppa pig on full volume starting at 5:10am each morning and motorbikes up the road revving for 10 mins at 6am to "warm them up" when I lived nearer centre of our town. Eeek!... But such is life. It was almost too quiet over here when we moved so the odd party noise drifting accross is kinda sweet.

So you crack on with hating on your neighbours.

I don't hate my neighbours? It is student accommodation. I don't even know them to hate them. I hate their noise though.

Just in case you thought I said you were a shit parent volder I never said any such thing about anyone. I also didn't say home parties were skanky. In fact, I posted twice to you saying the complete opposite.

Cheap and skanky hahahahaha surely this isn’t real

sorry I thought you were agreeing with the op on that, 💐

No. My family are well known for their garden parties. I always think they are the best type. Just not when the students carry on until 5am and end up screaming blue murder at each other.

volder

If you cancel the only people who lose out are you and your friends/family. Why would you do that because of MN?

YANBU OP. 3am noisy party would annoy me. I just can't imagine inflicting noise on neighbours like that. I'd have turned things down as it got late.
Some people round here had a party in their garden last year - all gardens back onto each other here - and they hired a DJ who was yelling in the garden all night as well as the music. I don't understand it because when I've hired venues for parties I've had to apply for a late music licence but if you do it in your own home/garden seemingly no such rule applies!