AIBU to ask for your positive stories of babies born at 34 weeks?

[BananaStand]

Not really an AIBU but I'm feeling very emotional right now and am shamelessly posting here for traffic.

DS1 was born a week ago at 34 + 3. He was a good weight and initially was doing very well. However in the past 24 hours he has gone backwards - he can't control his temperature any longer, he's jaundiced again, he has stopped breastfeeding and they're talking about re-inserting his feeding tube

I am so so worried about him and feel like I'm getting this all wrong. I feel like I might never be able to take him home. I'm very weepy and seem to have lost all perspective.

So I was hoping that some mumsnetters might have some positive stories to share about their preemie babies, to reassure me that this isn't forever and DS will (touch wood) be fine?

My sister had her first child six weeks early. She was so tiny, when I saw her for the first time in her incubator I cried because the legs of her babygro were empty. There were concerns about her future intellectual development, or warnings, rather. She graduated not long ago with a First Class Honours degree in a science subject.

In my NCT group one of the babies was born at 32 weeks.

They’ve all just celebrated their 12th birthdays.
All fine!

Good luck OP

It's all overwhelming at first but it does get easier. Mine was born at 34 weeks and also had jaundice, couldn't regulate his temperature and needed feeding through a tube for the first 5 weeks. It might take a while for him to be able to manage without the tube but it'll happen.

You're doing the best you can and that's all you can do, one step at a time.

It’s completedly natural to be upset - please be kind to yourself. I was admitted into hospital with twins at 28 weeks and the neo natal specialist came to see me when I was about 30 or 32 weeks and said the advancement in medicine was so significant that if her own baby was born at (sorry it was either 30 or 32 weeks) she would not be worried in anyway. I ended up being in hospital for two months and during that time babies were being born earlier than your son and were completedly fine. One poor lady had trouble carrying babies and sadly kept miscarrying at 24 weeks - she told me her goal was to get to 26 weeks as she knew a baby could survive from then. My sister’n’law’s mum and her twin brother were born at 28 weeks over 50 years ago and both are fine. My daughter’s best friend was born at 28 weeks and she is also completedly fine. This is understandably a scary time for you but I’m sure your son will be fine. More premature babies can’t control their temperature at all - but they grow out of it.

MY DDs friend had a baby at 32 weeks in March (but they suspect probably 33+). He is great- so much so that my DD is babysitting tonight while parents go out for the 1st time. The 1st week was emotional though- lots of high and lows.

My son was born at 34+5, he spent a week and a bit in SCBU on CPAP, tube fed and phototherapy. He was bottle fed as his latch was pretty much nonexistent. He's now 7, above average height, no health issues and doing really well They are so resilient and I'm sure your DS will bounce back soon

Hi OP. Mine was born at 27 weeks, weighing 1lb 10, and spent his first 6 months in hospital, including a couple of times when we nearly lost him. Your DS will have a few setbacks, but NICUs are brilliant. He has his weight on his side, and if he's breathing independently that's brilliant. I won't lie, it was a long shite road, but don't be too hard on yourself, take every day as it comes. You'll soon be taking him home . Mine's 12 now ...

Wishing you all the best of luck!

My strapping DH was born at 34 weeks 40 years ago and was in an incubator for months. Was touch and go a few times apparently. Only residual issue is asthma from being born with under developed lungs.

to you OP.

I understand, it's a worrying time but he will be fine! My son was born at 34 weeks, and was a very good weight. At first he was feeding well, but he then became very sleepy and wouldn't feed. They replaced the feeding tube and he was put under a light to sort out the jaundice.

We went home a few days later, and he never looked back... he's now 6ft 3in and a father himself!

My brother was born at 34 weeks, he was in hospital a while with jaundice and some feeding issues.

In November my brother will turn 21. He’s 6 foot 3 and a semi professional rugby player with hopes to turn fully pro next year. Mum always says you wouldn’t imagine he was a little prem baby in special care.

Apart from that initial few weeks he’s always been very healthy, I can’t remember him ever having more than an occasional cold!

Wishing you all the best of luck xx

My dd was born at 34 weeks and I remember so clearly feeling just as you've described - I felt like we would never leave scbu. Like we would take two steps forward and one step back.

No real advice for you - I hope you're both home really soon. It is so frustrating and not at all how you imagined the first days of being a mum to be. I really struggled with that for a long time, so be kind to yourself.

My dd is now a thriving 5 year old and you would never know she had been premature! She is tall, clever and brilliant.

Mine! Also born at 34 weeks. He had all the feeding troubles your little one seems to have. I ended up bottle feeding him as he latched better onto a tiny nuk bottle teat (from boots). He used to get so tired trying to feed it broke my heart. To be honest looking back he never fed great even when we got him home. He would dribble most of the milk out or fall asleep after a couple of mins feeding. Once we hit weaning he never looked back tho. Loved his big boy food and still does! I'm so sorry you have all this stress. It's not bloody fair but you're not alone. Mines now 4 and he's amazing and really tall too. You're doing so well OP. Fingers crossed that you get your baby home soon.

Congrats on the birth of your son.

I haven't had a baby at that gestation, but I WAS born at 28 weeks. I weighed 2lb back in 1975, I also had major heart surgery. Medical progress was so much poorer 43 years ago than it is today, take comfort in that OP. There is so much hospitals can do for premature babies now.

Here's hoping you can take your baby home soon, thinking of you both

My DD was born at 34 weeks. Also probs with feeding and temperature. Now 19 and fine.

My friend had twins at 34 weeks. They are 8 now and have no issues at all. Thsy are fantastically bright in fact. They were in hospital for 6 weeks.

It's so hard isn't it? My twins were born at 31 weeks. We had some very rough times during their 5 weeks in the NNU, but 2 years on, you would never know how early they were or what they went through. Hope you're home soon with your baby.

I was born at 28 weeks 50 years ago. I weighed 2lb at birth. There was no special baby care units then so I was put in a cot lying on sheepskin with lightbulbs around the cot to keep me warm. I had a spoonful of raw egg every morning, to build me up.

My son was born at 33+5 with similar issues. He was in neonatal for 12 days but now a healthy happy and thriving 10 month old.
Its so bloody scary but he will be well looked after i promise.
Sending love your way x

My niece was born at 29 weeks - she's just over 10 months now and doing so well.

When she was in NICU she had a lot of '1 step forward 2 steps back' situations. She would improve a lot, then suddenly stop feeding / heart rate would go up dangerously / temp would be all over the place. The dr said it was just her body adjusting and being tired.

I was on pins while she was in hospital (and I'm an auntie, not her mum) so I understand you must be so stressed, but baby's are so much tougher than you realise. My lovely niece came home after 6 weeks, before she should even have been born and is now a very loud, active almost 1 year old 💐

I was born at 32 weeks 32 years ago. Jaundice, incubator, feeding tube, etc. I like to think I’m doing ok [now grin]

Best of luck to you and your little one OP

My youngest was born at 30 weeks. He was whisked away without me even getting a chance to see what he looked like and then it was seven hours before they let me see him. He had bouts of jaundice, could not control temp, had a grade 2 bleed on brain. I was told it was highly likely that he would have some sort of disability as in cerebral palsy and if that was not the case then would end up with behaviour/mental problems, I told he was deaf in one ear too. I went on one hell of a emotional roller coaster. And I always broke down when they did lumbar punctures on him and as they missed the spot a few times it was torture. In my mind I was going to be left with a severely disabled child and I did not no whether I was coming or going. I was a wreck but still had to plod on as my other two children needed me. I was too scared to even hold him as was fearful of all the wires covering his tiny body. He weighed 3 pounds at birth. Day by day was progress, some setbacks here and there with jaundice and temp, but he pulled through and amazingly I took him home 28 days later after I gave birth. Cut a long story short he is a normal hyper into everything two and a half year old. He was found to be not deaf, no signs of any disability, the only major problem is that he is delayed with speech, brain bleed had gone from grade 2 to a 1 so doctors not worried. His only health problems have been reoccurring ear infections. I do feel a little angry that I was told x y and z about my little one as they caused me untold pain and suffering and I went through hell but if wasn't for the doctors and our good old nhs my son would not be alive today.

Sorry that should have been - I like to think I’m doing ok now

DS1 was born at 33+3. CPAP, optiflo, NG feeding till 17 days old and several lots of phototherapy. Home at 35+5, NG out the next day.

Such an emotional time!! The worry and sleep deprivation of constant expressing were pretty tough. I'm an acute HCP who was in my own workplace, loads of support. However, I found myself crying over spilt breadtmilk.

DS1 is now a very bright and delightful 3.5yr old boy. Luckily no long term health issues.

I'm loving all these much older premmie success stories.

Oh, and my great nieces (twins) (slightly weird age gaps in the family) are rather amazing 18 month olds, just starting to walk and cheeky as anything. They were 25weekers.

Trust the medicine and yourself. Best of luck.

Sending you a handhold and a hug lass.

Take one day at a time OP. You will get through this x