AIBU to ask for your positive stories of babies born at 34 weeks?

[BananaStand]

Not really an AIBU but I'm feeling very emotional right now and am shamelessly posting here for traffic.

DS1 was born a week ago at 34 + 3. He was a good weight and initially was doing very well. However in the past 24 hours he has gone backwards - he can't control his temperature any longer, he's jaundiced again, he has stopped breastfeeding and they're talking about re-inserting his feeding tube

I am so so worried about him and feel like I'm getting this all wrong. I feel like I might never be able to take him home. I'm very weepy and seem to have lost all perspective.

So I was hoping that some mumsnetters might have some positive stories to share about their preemie babies, to reassure me that this isn't forever and DS will (touch wood) be fine?

Feeling a lot better this morning, DS has finally gained weight rather than losing it and he was much more alert for this morning's feed, and even breastfed for a bit. We had a few bumps in the night as his heart rate was quite high, so that needs to be investigated, but I'm just so pleased to have some good news. I'm also very lucky in that there's a room on the neonatal ward I can stay in, so I don't have to leave him.

One poster mentioned hormones / milk coming in and I think that was definitely partly why I was so so upset yesterday, I am very up and down in general at the moment though and the smallest bit of bad news about DS can set me off. I'm so looking forward to the day when I've got him home and this time in hospital is just a bad memory.

So happy to hear that update, BananaStand. Remember that your hormones and lack of sleep are also a big factor in how you're feeling right now. All the best to you and your lovely little son and family.

My son was born at 32 weeks weighing 1.2 kg and I had my daughter at 34 weeks exactly weighing 1.5 kg. Both times I had preeclampsia so I understand how horrible, stressful and worrying this is for you. My son is now a very happy 9 year old and my daughter is 7 months and doing very well, she just sat up by herself and is such a smiley and happy little girl. I am sending you lots of love 💕

OP I was born at 33 weeks, jaundiced, no eyelashes/fingernails, various other issues, not feeding etc, my parents were told during labour I wouldn't make it, and then told this several times when I was a newborn when I deteriorated temporarily (it was the eighties, I have no other explanation). I'm 34 no ongoing health concerns and fit as a fiddle. I hope you're little one is fighting fit and home with you soon xxx

My partner was a 24w baby 30 years ago. He's fine!

I'm really pleased you had a better day. My first pregnancy was twins and 35 weeks was considered term. Around 50% of twins are born before then, some significantly so. One of my twins had jaundice and feeding problems and I know that it is really hard but it sounds like you are getting good and cautious care.

My nephew was born at 34 weeks. He is now a strapping teenager, doing well at school, loves his football and plays for local team, all round great kid. No developmental issues at all, just a couple of small operations for a problem with joints.

My twins were born at just over 34w. We had the general kind of problems that you have, jaundice, slow feeding, a few issues with temperature control. I would say they were smaller than their friends until about 2 and have met milestones at adjusted rather than actual age. However they are now happy healthy 4 year old girls who start school in September! Congratulations on your new addition op. I remember the stress only to well but hang on on there!

I was born at 29 weeks weighing 1lb 13, so even earlier than your ds, and unlike your ds when born I did have some issues and needed an incubator. I was very ill at first naturally - couldn't breathe alone, parents couldn't hold me for first few weeks - but thanks to the marvellous drs and nurses I survived. I did need extra support when small - speech therapy (would talk hind legs off donkey but limited vocab) and needed special boots to support me walking properly. They worked though and by the time I started school I was fully caught up with my peers.

I'm 23 now. I had no problems through childhood - I did visit hospital yearly but that was for an unrelated issue, and was discharged at 13 anyway. I'm no longer small (the opposite! 😀), I have no mobility issues, I achieved good grades in school and university.

Children go back and forwards progress wise anyway. He's here, he's healthy and he's safe. He might need a bit extra support but most children do at some point. The professionals will work with you to support him - they do marvellous things. Even if he does need extra support, that doesn't necessarily mean it will impact his life. It didn't for me, and I was far worse than your son, and this was 20yrs ago so more medical advances now. Try and take strength from the positive stories/experiences on here and remember it will get better

Triplets born at 33wks2d weighing 3lb1/2oz, 2lb4oz and 3lb1oz. Now fully healthy 19 year olds. They walked later than average and were smaller than their peers, but you wouldn't know now.

Born at 34/40, needed 5 days in NICU, 6 in SCBU. Thing 1 had suspected sepsis, Thing 2 couldn’t latch on till 10 days.
Five years on, they’re fab and light up my life in every way.

My son was born at 34+5 weeks, was in scbu for 3 days. He is now a strapping 13 year old. I hope your son gets better very soon.

My niece! Born at 34 weeks and it was slow progress but she managed to get home before her due date with a feeding tube. She is 6 months now and absolutely the same as any full term baby!

It was hard on my sister and none of us realised how slowly you have to take everything and how patient you have to be but it does get better

My twins were born at 33+3 and were 4lb and 4lb6 and spent 4 weeks in hospital.
They were due out after 2 weeks but MIL hid the fact she had a cold from dh and sent FIL to collect the visitor passes then talked the nurse into letting her cuddle them both.
They caught her cold and dd started going purple when feeding and ds2 was blocked solid meaning they had to use suction frequently to clear his nose.

Despite this rocky start they are a pair of perfectly healthy and very rarely ill 11 year olds!

Banana wishing you all the best.
Everyone is different. My only experience is I was born at 35 weeks (very early for the early 70s). I had all sorts of complications in my first few weeks. No one would believe that now. Physically I’m the biggest and strongest of my siblings (and I’spd say nicest too ), academically I’m a bit addicted to collecting qualifications and degrees (not the best career path but hey).
My mum didn’t think I’d make it so you never can tell.
Remember to take care of yourself too. I’m sending you lots of hugs.

My Brother and sister in law had their LO at 34 weeks. He was meant to be 14 weeks younger than my LO, there's 7 weeks between them. My LO is on the 75th percentile for height and weight, my nephew is just as tall and heavier than DS. He weighed just under 4lbs at birth but weight 20lbs now at 8 months old.
I think most premature babies will have set backs, I remember DN being way better and then suddenly getting worse, again, nothing life or death.
Good luck, congratulations, and try not to worry too much!

I'm so pleased to hear you are having a better day OP. Weight gain is a great sign and it's fab that you are able to stay there too

I was born at 34 weeks 30+ years ago, 5.5lbs I think, and my brother was born at 35 weeks. Both pretty healthy all in all

DS1 was born at 34 weeks. He was such a scrawny little thing, I also cried when I first bathed him as he looked like the last little chicken left at the butchers! He was all pigeon chested, red and then really orange as his jaundice was awful. It took weeks to resolve, not helped by it being deepest winter so no sunlight to help!

He's 12.5yo now, far taller than me - he's 5'7" at least and looks set to be well over six foot eventually. He never gets ill, other than chickenpox and a (literally) a couple of tummy bugs he has been incredibly well. He's doing brilliantly academically, when he can be bothered. And he hit all his milestones on time as a baby/toddler.

My cousin's son was born at 26 weeks and was 1lb 5oz. He had a hernia op when still in NICU but otherwise escaped any long term health issues. He has thrived and is now doing great aged 11. He's a little bit shorter than most of the kids in his class, but he was August born, 14 weeks early, and neither parent is over 5'6" so he was never going to be the tallest!

Ds3 was born 33weeks +1 was in NICU for 15days nearly two years ago. He has hit all his milestones and he had no re admissions, no health concerns minues reflux which corrected itself. Talk to other parents at the unit, if you can. It was nice for me to be able to share small victories with someone who understood a bit more what we were facing. The cherry on top was both of our sons were discharged at the same time.