AIBU to ask for your positive stories of babies born at 34 weeks?

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Not really an AIBU but I'm feeling very emotional right now and am shamelessly posting here for traffic.

DS1 was born a week ago at 34 + 3. He was a good weight and initially was doing very well. However in the past 24 hours he has gone backwards - he can't control his temperature any longer, he's jaundiced again, he has stopped breastfeeding and they're talking about re-inserting his feeding tube

I am so so worried about him and feel like I'm getting this all wrong. I feel like I might never be able to take him home. I'm very weepy and seem to have lost all perspective.

So I was hoping that some mumsnetters might have some positive stories to share about their preemie babies, to reassure me that this isn't forever and DS will (touch wood) be fine?

2lb 1oz 31weeker here. She had ups and downs including a very very scary brady/desat episode where she needed stimulating to breathe, and a blood transfusion (not uncommon)
Currently 6 1/2 and asleep - in my bed

Don't know about babies, but my boss was born at 32 weeks in 1981 and is a healthy wonderful man now, age 37

I have a 30 weeker asleep here, now 3yo and you wouldn't know his difficult start, 3x different ventilations Nicu and Scbu for 8 weeks, modern medicine is incredible, look after yourself the shock and continually changing situation is very difficult to deal with, hoping you'll be through soon

My niece was born at 26 weeks, she was tiny. Just over 2lbs. She's now 11, really clever, (like top of the class clever) no issues at all! Hope that your son picks up in the near future. It's a really emotional time! X

My DS was born at 34 w on the dot.

Needed CPAP at birth. I held him for a minute and then he was taken away. His heart stopped loads of times, he was jaundiced, sleepy. Awful time. 14 days in scbu. I cried over it for a long while after.

Now 5 years later...
He is 4 feet tall (! So taller than the average 7 yo??)
Breastfed heartily til past 2
Started reading at age 3
Climbed his first mountain at 3.5
Thriving in his piano lessons (started age 4)
Learning a second language...
And he is sweet, creative, kind and just lovely.

Just hold on, keep your nerve and remember all this is temporary. You are ALL going to be ok. You just are! That's all there is to it. Xxxx

I really feel for you. My dc was born at 34+3 and it was an emotional rollercoaster. I could feel strong enough in the morning and not be able to stop crying by the afternoon. Leaving him in special care was simply awful, and my friends and family just had no understanding of what we were going through. Sending lots of well wishes your way.
With regards to feeding, my dc wasn't getting anywhere with it and was on the tube for 20 days. It felt hopeless. However, on day 10 he pulled out his own tube, took to my boob and has been successfully feeding since. We got to take him home on day 12. He is 14 weeks now and a very healthy weight with very few complications.
The journey with a prem baby is so hard. Be kind to yourself and take time to yourself where you can. I found I couldn't cope well at home, but a trip to the costa at the hospital with a magazine between cares when he was sleeping did me the world of good, as the noise of special care (a sound that will stay with me forever!) was really getting to me.
It is hard, but you will get there. I'm sorry you are going through this.

My girls arrived at 35 and 34 weeks. It was emotionally hard at first, both developed jaundice and had feeding problems.
They're now 14 and 10 respectively, taller than me, and the only feeding problem we have is keeping them out of the biscuit tin.
and to you OP.

A friend had twins at 34 weeks. It was a rollercoaster of a ride for about 10 weeks (especially for the smallest who at one point was a close as you could get to dying) but both very active normal toddlers now although the smallest one still has a few problems with his lungs but the doctors say he outgrow these problems as he gets older. Doesnt stop them though. The hospitals are amazing and what they can do now surprised this mum. At the end of the day her twins are running around causing trouble now. Good luck op xxxx

I've met lots of 34 weekers, most doing brilliantly by their due date, but it's a horrendous emotional rollercoaster having a baby, nevermind a baby in nicu - don't forget to take care of yourself.

23 now, 6 foot 5, grammar school boy, aced his GCSEs and A Levels, read English at uni, now works for the UKs leading market influencer company in the sports division, also a reasonably well known sports journo with a 200K twitter following.

My 34 weeker had a similar journey. She started off doing really well - off cpap and into an open cot within 48 hours. Then jaundice (really tough as we were limited to holding her for only 20 mins a day while she was under the lamps), two infections acquired in hospital (grr), antibiotics which gave her an upset stomach and made her lose precious weight. It was a rollercoaster. She was in for three weeks and one day but it felt like an eternity. I hope you are out soon.

My cousin's dd was born at 34 weeks and spent a month or two in NICU. She is now a healthy 15 year old teenager with an appropriate level of eye rolling and very good grades. Her parents were truly frantic when she was born and for quite awhile afterwards. I once met a doctor who treated premature babies and she said it was very common for the parents to have PTSD from the birth and for it to take many years before they were not worried all the time, but that these days most of the premature babies do very very well.

I was born at 32 weeks and weighed 4lbs.I was in an incubator for a while but no problems

My DS1 was born at 27 weeks weighing just 2lb 3oz. He had a bumpy start, with 9 weeks in NICU/SCBU and 3 lots of surgery. We were warned he would always be poorly and struggle developmentally. He’s now a healthy, happy 5 year old who’s just coming to the end of his reception year. He has some slight speech problems but nothing major (probably more linked to the tongue tie which was missed and is hereditary rather than due to being prem). He’s one of the smartest kids I know. He’s still tiny for his age, started school in age 2-3 trousers but has recently had a growth spurt and in age 4! He eats like a bird though so I don’t think he’ll ever be big.

When I was sat in NICU I was advised to write a journal with every tiny slight development as it’s entirely normal for babies to regress and it helps to look back at how far theyve already come. It really helped.

Although you’re probably not even thinking of this at the moment - I was terrified of another prem birth. DS2 is now 8 months old, arrived at 39+6 weighing 8lb 8oz and is already trying to walk. He couldn’t be more different.

My dd was born at 34 but decent weight and seemed to feed fine at first. She was exactly as you describe jaundice and tired and feeding struggled. We were in for a week whilst we got on top of both. At around 5 days when milk comes in and hormones go crazy I found really really hard. Just incase this coincides for you. I ended up chatting to those around me on the ward which helped. She seemed so content and happy except when under phototherapy lights when she would just constantly be unhappy. So hard to watch and I will never forget that feeling of being so torn. She needed the light but just couldn't sleep under them. She's now nearly 2 and whilst being small she's doing great. You will get through this. Try and be kind to yourself. I don't know how your birth was but use the time your in to rest and recover whilst you can

The love of my life was born after 34 weeks, 66 years ago in Mexico and he is healthy and extremely intelligent.

My God son was born at 32 weeks weighing 3lb, was in intensive care for a week and in hospital for the first month. He's now 6, taller than average, never ever Sick, happy, full of energy and top of the class. Apparently once they reach 32 weeks they are basically finished and putting on weight so chances are that with the right medical intervention early on, they'll be completely fine.

My DS was born at 35 weeks. Jaundiced, couldn't feed, so tube-fed. He stayed in the SCBU for 9 days where I wasn't allowed to hold him. Eventually came home (still tube-fed). The first night his tube came out and I wasn't confident about reinserting it so he was back to the SCBU for another 3 days.
After that he was brilliant. Thrived from then on. He'll be 21 in August, is a big strapping lad (was always in clothes far larger than his age range from a toddler onwards).
Best of luck to you and your family. Hugs and

My friends ds was born at 31 weeks. He is taller than me now .

Do you have anyone to support you? I really feel for you, its a big shock to the system to have a baby but when you have added stress and worry it is awful. Be sure to take care of yourself too or i hope someone close to you is, your ds needs his mummy to be well.

Friends kids born 34 and 32weeks and bouncing around now at 7& 3 after several weeks in SCBU.
DN had five children all born 35 weeks and less. Last one 24 weeks! All doing well. My eldest not premmie but poorly had a month in and touch and go for a while. Despite concerns had no brain damage even though lack of oxygen at birth. Stroppy big lad now who has just finished walking all the Wainwrights in the past two years on his day off. He was also on and off tube feeding. I did manage to breat feed him for four months so you can keep it going if you want to by expressing.
Sending prayers up for you today. I hope you have some support in real life if not ask one of the charities or churches as there will be people to help support you through this upsetting time.

My nephew was born at 28 weeks, 3 weeks after my full term DS. He is now 4 ounces heavier than my DS!! He hit all the regular milestones early, i.e. smiling, sitting up, rolling over. He spent first 8 weeks in hospital and it was very up and down, but he is doing great now. Hugs, I know it is a scary time, but fingers crossed he will be just fine and allowed home soon.

My cousin’s grandson was born at 33 weeks and had many ups and downs. He weighed 3lbs at birth. He is 5 now and starts school in September. He has no developmental problems and is a very happy healthy little boy.

Lots of lovely stories here. You are in the best possible place to get all the help you need. Congratulations on your little baby.

DS was boring at 34 + 5 and was 5lbs. He was jaundice, breathing difficulties & feeding difficulties.
Was whisked away minutes after birth and put on CPAP. Fed through a tube for a week and on phototherapy machines for nearly 2 weeks (on and off).
I went into spontaneous labour and had a massive bleed (baby was fine but I was terrified). I was given steroid injection for his lungs. He was in SCBU for 5 days before moved onto a ward with me.
I never held him properly for days and I was using the breast pump so much that I triggered an over production of milk. I never saw my baby's eye colour for nearly 3 weeks he was so sleepy!! I thought I had lucked out with a really docile baby, I hadn't realised that was a result of the jaundice. The first time I tried breastfeeding he was nearly a week old, his mouth was so small I needed to use a shield.

2 years later and I have a little terror on my hands!! He's hit all his milestones early, his weight was fantastic! Gained nearly a lb a week when he was small, now he's big for his age. You could never tell to look at him.

One thing though, I am forever terrified when he gets poorly. I sort of emotionally detached slightly when he was born as I was convinced I would lose him. He is my world and my reason for getting up in the mornings.

Dh was born at 34 weeks in the 1970s, I'm not sure how long he was in hospital following his birth but mil says she had to return home without him until he was well enough. He was 3lb at birth. He's not had any lasting medical problems due to his prematurity.

Congratulations op , do update us on your little one.