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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask for your positive stories of babies born at 34 weeks?

120 replies

BananaStand · 16/06/2018 21:37

Not really an AIBU but I'm feeling very emotional right now and am shamelessly posting here for traffic.

DS1 was born a week ago at 34 + 3. He was a good weight and initially was doing very well. However in the past 24 hours he has gone backwards - he can't control his temperature any longer, he's jaundiced again, he has stopped breastfeeding and they're talking about re-inserting his feeding tube Sad

I am so so worried about him and feel like I'm getting this all wrong. I feel like I might never be able to take him home. I'm very weepy and seem to have lost all perspective.

So I was hoping that some mumsnetters might have some positive stories to share about their preemie babies, to reassure me that this isn't forever and DS will (touch wood) be fine?

OP posts:
WereAllBladesArentWe · 16/06/2018 22:46

You are still full of hormones OP, dont underestimate the effects of that. Flowers to you & your preemie.
Friend had her DS at 34+3. He just turned 2 and is tall & skinny with amazing vocab and so sensitive and kind.

tiredmummy1991 · 16/06/2018 22:47

My DD was born at 36 weeks. She has not long ago had her 5th birthday and she's in the top group in her class at school. She was small and things were scary at times but she's prefect in every way!

Fluffyears · 16/06/2018 22:50

34 weeks is not super early, 36 weeks can be considered full term so the chances are really good. It’s just a wee setback because he’s just little. In a year from now you’ll be trying to stop him climbing into the bin or pulling out all your cupboards Flowers

FlatterNow · 16/06/2018 22:50

3 year old DD was born at 34 weeks and on a feeding tube for three weeks in hospital. I should have guessed when she kept pulling the feeding tube out that she was going to be a handful! She is perfectly fine - petite but meeting all her milestones - and her older brother, born at 32 weeks, is one of the tallest and fittest in his class. It's so hard, I know, but it will be ok and soon this time in hospital will seem like a strange dream. Sending you lots of anonymous stranger on the internet good wishes x

Eliza9917 · 16/06/2018 23:06

I was born at 6m, I think that is 24 weeks? In fact all my 3 sister's were as well (2 are twins).

I had a hole in my heart, which closed up on its own, jaundice which went after a couple of weeks, the cord around my neck when born I think, I was breach and they had to use forceps. I was in an incubator for 3m before I could go home, I think we all were. I was 2lb 12oz when born. The twins were 1lb something each, as was my youngest sister. She was born by cesarean.

I'm here 37yrs later, my sister's are too, no health problems for me really if I get my weight back down a bit.

Eliza9917 · 16/06/2018 23:09

Oh yeah, I nearly died, they had a preist come and do the last rites so I didn't have a proper christening as I was done in the hospital and I'm healthy as anything really now

Gilead · 16/06/2018 23:16

My twins were born at 33 weeks. In SCBU for a fortnight. They're at uni now!

Flowers

OuchLegoHurts · 16/06/2018 23:20

My identical twins were born at 33 weeks and they are now two beautiful, intelligent ten year olds, two of the tallest in their class. I can honestly say that being premature didn't have any effect at all on them. They spent 3 weeks in the SCBU after birth and they were tube fed for two weeks but thrived after that. It's a difficult time but don't worry, it only lasts a short time... Soon you'll have a big bouncing hungry baby at home with you!

jainaproudm · 16/06/2018 23:20

I was born at 34 weeks - I had a tricky few months but I'm healthy as anything now! Good luck to you and your little one x

LiquoricePickle · 16/06/2018 23:21

I was born at 34 weeks, 30 years ago, when preemie medicine was nowhere near as good as it is now!

Praying for your little one.

MotherOfMinions · 16/06/2018 23:32

DS2 was 34+5 and I've had no problems at all with him. He's a very healthy 12 yr old now with no health problems. Flowers

ToriaPumpkin · 16/06/2018 23:33

I know two 34 weekers, 34 week twins, a 33 weeker, a 31 weeker and a 29 weeker. They were all small, all needed a bit of extra help feeding or breathing, or both, but all of them are now healthy and bright and doing well (they range from 1-7). Medicine is truly amazing now. Fingers crossed for you. My two were full term but both required help in SCBU, under lights, multiple blood tests and with syringe feeding and it's awful. But they're resilient little things.

Original poster
BananaStand · 16/06/2018 23:35

Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to share these stories, they are making me feel better. I'm reassured the feeding and jaundice issues seem so common and that the babies were able to overcome them, and also that it seems most people haven't suffered with any long term issues. The jaundice has made DS really sleepy and I think that's the root of a lot of the other issues.

Thank you all again. Taking one day at a time is such good advice, I need to stop panicking and just focus on dealing with DS's issues right now.

OP posts:
Notsureabc · 16/06/2018 23:42

Hi, I hope you’re okay, my sister was born at 29 weeks 18 years ago, she completely fine, studying physics at Warwick university, my mum didn’t breastfeed her however but that was due to other circumstances, hope your little mans condition improves Flowers

LeahJack · 16/06/2018 23:44

Mine was 35 weeks. Absolutely fine now. It is worrying at first.Flowers

biggirlknickers · 16/06/2018 23:48

My DD was born at 34+5, only 3lb4oz due to IUGR, jaundiced and unable to feed for the first week. She was in incubators, covered in wires and tubes, and so so tiny - a mere scrap of a baby. Picking her up for the first time when she was over a day old was very scary and not the pleasant experience it should have been. I thought she would break. She had no awareness of me whatsoever.

She came home at only 3 weeks old still weighing only around 4lb. It was terrifying. She was a very fussy baby and she seemed to be a baby for a very long time as her growth was very slow BUT she is now a healthy 7 year old - taller than average, agile, clever and articulate.

Congratulations on the birth of your child OP! In a few years you will be giving someone else on here the same reassurances.

campion · 17/06/2018 00:18

DS2 was born at 33 weeks emergency c section as I had severe pre eclampsia. He was small for dates because of this at 3lbs 8 oz. Incubator for 2 weeks n/g feeding tube but no breathing probs. They said breast feeding was too tiring for prem babies so I expressed but that all came to a halt when I got mastitis coupled with anaemia !

He was a bit jaundiced but didn't need treatment and made good progress. He came home 4 weeks later weighing 4 lbs 10 oz and we were told that temperature regulation was more important than weight.
There were lots of photos in SCBU of past patients looking chubby and normal (!) and we thought he'd never look like them as he was like a skinned rabbit, but he grew like a weed once home.
I was very anxious that he should gain weight and not die so followed instructions to the letter. My lovely community midwife came to see/weigh him and said to me 'You are a good mother' in her lilting African voice. It's possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me!

He's now 6ft tall, grown up, self sufficient, independent..and lovely.

An unexpected bonus of SCBU was that he was in a brilliant routine by the time he came home!
It's an anxious time,OP, but your baby will be getting all the care that he needs,including from you.

Talkingfrog · 17/06/2018 00:38

I'm know of a few children born Around the 34 or 35 week mark. They are all now doing fine.
I was born 3 weeks early, 45 years ago. Not sure whether they classed full term as 40 weeks then. I was only 3.5 lb born, and spent a few weeks in what was called intensive care then. I assume things are morevadvanced now. No long term side effects for me. My dauhhter wss 7lb5oz, so double my weight.

Sending a hug. It must be hard for you. Hopefully you will all be home soon.

thegreatbeyond · 17/06/2018 00:52

Husband was a 33 weeker. He's done pretty well for himself :)

SleepingStandingUp · 17/06/2018 00:57

Think of the feeding tube as giving them a little treat audio they can concentrate on growing and getting better.

If you can, express to keep your supply up and ago baby gets your milk, then when he's feeling perkier he can go back to source.

Ds was a 35 weeker, critically ill at birth, ascend he's now a rambunctious three year old. He will get through this and so will you

Heartofglass12345 · 17/06/2018 01:17

My first son came at 30+4 with no warning, he came home at 36 weeks. My 2

AornisHades · 17/06/2018 01:19

One of mine was a 34 week baby. Spent time in SCBU and came home weeks before due date. They had reflux which was a horror but other than that is absolutely fine. No ongoing health problems. Those first weeks were awful and felt like forever but it is only weeks and as the years go by it does fade.
Flowers

BakedBeans47 · 17/06/2018 01:21

Aw bless you x

Not my babies but I was born at 34 weeks some 45 years ago and although I think it was difficult for my folks in the very early days I’ve always been fine x

I’m sure he’ll be fine and I hope you get him home soon xxx

Heartofglass12345 · 17/06/2018 01:23

Argh I dropped my phone lol
My second son came at 33 weeks and stayed in for 16 days. They were both ventilated at birth, needed phototherapy and tube fed. They had their setbacks as well. My youngest ended up back in hospital a week after he came home because he stopped breathing which was terrifying, but he was fine and it hasn't happened again since. They are 5 and 2.5 now and you wouldn't know they were prem. both a bit small but not majorly. My oldest is being assessed for autism but he is doing well generally, he was delayed with his speech but he's fine now, goes to a welsh school and can talk and read in welsh and English. My youngest has amazing speech, people comment on it a lot!
Its a scary time and they feel like they aren't yours, but that will change when you get home. Don't be afraid to talk to the nurses, they are usually really friendly. I hope you're ok Thanks

TheCatofAthenry · 17/06/2018 01:54

My grandfather was born earlier in 1916 and lived in a shoebox for months and would have been a doctor, only he dropped out to support his family.

I, his ancestor, am a doctor now. Overworked, but happy. Hugs and support, OP!