Would you knowingly be the other woman?

[wouldyoubeherifyouknew]

Name changed.

I've been reading a lot of threads about affairs and thinking of my own situation and wondering this:

If you knew someone was married with young children and the family had recently been bereaved after a very traumatic year, would you KNOWINGLY get romantically involved with that person?

This is how me and and my husband started. I was 19, he was 29 and had a wife and 2 children. He initiated flirting and I just got carried away. I'm not proud of it. But we have been together for 6 years now, married for 2 and have a baby. All of his family and friends have assured me that their relationship was always terrible, and had told him to leave her before he even met me, even before his children were born. His ex has moved on and is happy, and we all have a wonderful relationship with the children. It was a shitty thing we did, but I genuinely think that everyone involved is better off now.

What's with all the 17 year olds? Disgusting men, just looking for the easiest to manipulate.. If you were this age then it's not your fault.

If you were 17, you were groomed

I was 17, he was 32. Same as a previous poster.

Wouldn’t go as far as saying I was groomed. :/ I knew what I was doing, I was a manipulative cow at that age :/

@JAPAB To use an analogy, if I knowingly agreed to let a drunk person drive my car, and other people end up getting hurt, it wouldn't surprise me at all to find myself on the receiving end of some rather bad feeling for events I chose to assist in.

But what if you lend a sober person your car? What if he deliberately or carelessly drives into someone? Whose fault then?

The drunk analogy suggests that the driver has lost the ability to exercise control or judgement and it is the car lender's responsibility to control them. Men (and women) who cheat on their partners know exactly what they are doing, and they choose to do it anyway. If they don't want to hurt their families they shouldn't shag other people!

Ducksinarow1 I don't think being drunk or over the limit gets anyone off the hook. If it did this wouldn't be illegal.

I wouldn't let such a person drive my car not because I see myself as being responsible for their actions as such. But I am responsible for my own actions or choices in terms of whether I will provide someone else with assistance in their attempted harmful endeavours. Whether I will, in a sense, provide them with the tools they need to go ahead with whatever it is.

And if you do not know that you are providing assistance to someone in their harmful endeavours, then that is a different situation altogether.

If the cosmetics company openly tests on animals and you buy then you are knwingly assisting. If they claim not to but are lying and there is no reason you could know this, then you are not assisting in something hargmul.

It is not about being responsible for what others do, only for what you do.

Hell no! I’m not being someone’s bit in the side. I think too much of myself for that

Same when younger. I was 19 with one and 21 with another, short sexual relationships. Ashamed of myself now but the cheating husbands wives didn't really even enter my mind at the time.