To cancel my holiday since I can’t master this ‘life skill’

[Eastie77]

I was due to go on a break with a group of 3 friends in the Summer. Original plan was to stay in a cottage as we have done previously, enjoy walks, the beach and so on. After everything was booked my friends decided to incorporate a few days bike riding into the holiday. This was when I had to admit that I can’t ride a bike which was met with disbelief (you must mean you’re just a bit rusty, everyone can ride etc) and then I was told to take lessons and I’d learn in a few hours. I actually posted on MN for advice as I don’t know anyone who has learned as an adult.

Anyway, I had the lesson and it went as badly as I expected since my sense of balance is appalling. I have difficulty with co-ordination generally and I was the only person in the entire class who was unable to cycle by the end of the lesson. Everyone else was a complete beginner like me. The teacher was lovely and suggested a 1-1 lesson next week which I might go to but honestly I know deep down that I won’t get the hang of this. So I’ve told my friends I’m not going on the holiday because they now plan to cycle almost every day of the break.

I have not asked for my share of the money back as it’s my choice not to go but I have suggested that we try to find a replacement for me amongour wider group of friends if possible. The ‘problem’ is I have pissed off the group as a) I am being defeatist and b) I was one of the 2 designated drivers and now there is only 1 who will have to drive 7 hours each way. I get why she is annoyed but the irony is my other 2 friends are having a go at me for not persisting with the bloody cycling lessons when neither of them can drive (1 has a license but hasn’t driven since she passed and definitely can’t drive on the motorway) and so should understand that some of us just haven’t mastered certain skills. DP booked time of to stay with our DC and when I told him to cancel he rolled his eyes and said I’m really hard work. Really? AIBU to not want to spend 3 days of a holiday sitting on my own for hours while my friends go off and have fun?!

Bloody hell, some people have quite the brass neck,, don’t they? If I had “money problems”, I just wouldn’t go on holiday. I wouldn’t expect to go anyway, and have other people cover my costs.

I remember this from the first thread.

How did it all pan out in the end?

The holiday's happening about now.

Your pot is super bizarre OP, so what if you can't ride a bike? Just skip the bike rides and enjoy the rest of the holiday.
I've been on loads of holidays with friends and I have always skipped their 6 hour mountain climbing sessions as I hate mountain climbing, I used to stay in the cottage and make everyone dinner instead or bake, swim, read whatever.
The fact you are one of the two drivers means that you are important to this holiday.
Go and just do something else while they are out on bikes.
Seriously!!!

Madcatlady you really should have read the thread.

I wish there was a like button here PrimalLass!

The weather in Cornwall this weekend would make cycling particularly unpleasant, strong winds and heavy showers...

Don't blame you. I am a keen cyclists and have a couple of friends who have never learnt to ride bikes. I think it is a bit thoughtless to bring cycling into the holiday plan at this late stage. You have my sympathies.

Jeepers, having seen the rain down here yesterday and the wind today, I don't envy anyone on a Cornish cycling trip....

I hope the bacon was delicious!

Did you read the thread madcatladyforever? OP follows up by explaining the holiday was changed to a mainly cycling based one, and she’d be left on her own for huge chunks of it if she just opted out. Her friends decided to introduce the cycling as a last minute addition despite OP not being able to join in and expected her to take lessons in the run up, it wasn’t planned this way originally.

Are you back yet, OP? How did it go?

hope the hols went well OP

I'm being a saddo who'd like to know how it went...

Yeah I'm hoping the OP is okay! (also nosey as to how it went)

Eeek, I posted an update when I returned last week and only realised it didn't post when I came back to check the thread

So in summary, the break went fairly well all things considered although it was obviously very different from the reunion/get-together we planned. F1 and her GF did a fair amount of cycling on their own and actually managed to fit some in every day. In fairness most days they got up obscenely early and then joined of us later in the day but the dynamic was Us vs Them which was a shame.

What was odd was that on a couple of occasions they decided to go off and do something on their own and then GF kind of complained that they missed out e.g. one day we all decided to drive to Penzance. F1 & GF chose to do something else. Later that evening in the pub GF kept saying "oh such as shame I missed Penzance, I would have loved to have seen it etc"

She brought vegan snacks in a wicker basket and kept it safely stashed in the bedroom away from our evil meat

The weather was wild and windy the first couple of days. They all went out on the 'easy' trek and F2, who admitted to me she was dreading it, fell and injured her foot and the side of her leg so was not
happy at all.

My treks were great and I did one with some randoms I met up with but I enjoyed myself overall.

The driving was fine, it was actually 6 hours rather than 7. I drove the second half of the journey and as we were near the cottage we had to follow several winding country roads. F2 kept saying dramatically "thank GOD I didn't drive, I would have killed us all going around these
bends" so as to emphasize she was doing us a favour by not sharing the driving:)

GF did not pay towards the cottage and I don't know if the petrol money materialized (F2 said there was no sign in her PayPal account as requested). She did bring a vegan chocolate cake..!

I think F1 secretly thought that after watching everyone go off cycling I'd want to learn (she offered again to give me a lesson while we were there!!) but I can honestly say even if I knew how to cycle I wouldn't have joined in on this break. Nothing about it appeals to me!

It could have gone much worse I suppose. What a shame your friendship will forever more be tainted.

I went on holiday myself in the middle of all this and got lost on about page 16. Can someone remind me why F1's GF wasn't paying?

I think only F1 knows that Don't....

F1 said her GF "can't pay" more than a petrol contribution and gave no further explanation so I have assumed she is broke but who knows. She said it would in any case have been unfair to ask her to pay towards the cottage because she was sharing a room with F1 . I noticed F1 paid her share of the bill when we were eating out etc.

Look on the bright side OP - it's now done and dusted and you didn't have to cycle!!!!
Still bloody cheeky that GF didn't contribute adequately though.
Did she do much cooking for you all in the end?

No the cooking didn't materialise as she wouldn't put her ingredients in a fridge that contained meat.

Just found out she is crowdfunding a Vegan pop-up!

If I were you and my friends DIDN'T give me the kind of shit yours gave you, I'd go and put a firm line that I am not joining them for cycling. Period. Do something enjoyable while they are at it, go for a walk on your own, make them a nice dinner when they are back.

In your case, - i/e/ friends giving you a hard time- I'd refuse to go. They've been awful in this competitive manner, putting pressure on you etc. After all the expenses of cycling lessons (sure you paid for it), I'd even ask for the money back. And be prepared to lose them as friends. That's not what real friends are like.