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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask to drop DC at a party early?

440 replies

TrickyTrickTrick · 16/06/2018 09:07

DC (8) has been invited to a party. It is on the same day as a local event we were planning on attending as a family (we already have tickets for it). DC is desperate to go as it is one of their good friends. If relevant tickets purchased last week, invite is only a week's notice from party date.

I know the mum to say 'hi' to, occasional playground chat, the friend has been here for dinner etc but I do not know the mum 'well' as such. She seems nice, but quite shy/quiet.

Party is about 10 mins from the local event, it is a party at the child's house. I would also have to dip out of event early to collect DC and then re-park at event and re-enter. So probably missing about 45mins ish of the event.

WIBU to ask the mum if i could drop DC half an hour early? This would allow us to get to the event close to the time we originally planned to get there (we have other DC who are excited to go to the event), so only disrupting our family day out in the middle when I go to collect, rather than at the start as well.

WIBU to ask her? or does this make me a CF?!

OP posts:
SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 17/06/2018 12:02

Bertrand I must admit, I'm a bit surprised.

I remain of the opinion that judging anyone on a single glimpse into their lives is rarely the best idea.

halcyondays · 17/06/2018 12:47

I'm baffled to. We were asked this once and it was fine. If you are prepared to host a kids party you're already geared up for a certain amount of stress and so one extra child for another 30 minutes isn't an issue.

TigerTooth · 17/06/2018 17:38

I'd hate to be asked this - is probably sat yes cos I'm a pushover but then I'd secretly Seth at the CF - this is be shad I get quite stressed at throwing parties - until it's well on its way and I know it's. lol ok I would be in high anxiety mods. If the parent is very chilled it might be fine but for me I would hate it.
Likewise afterwards - that's when close adult friends stay and open a bottle of wine and help clean up - J wouldn't want you arriving late to collect but as I say, I am a bit stress you at such things.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 17/06/2018 18:04

Now you just need to mention that the event doesn’t finish until later so is it ok to pick up later...like any sane person would do! You could suggest taking her DS back to yours for a sleep over (if it’s not his actual birthday that day).

Kattyy · 17/06/2018 18:23

Isn't a local babysitter an obvious answer?

SoyDora · 17/06/2018 18:23

No, dropping him at the party early with the party Mother’s blessing is the obvious answer!

Mikklehaha · 17/06/2018 18:23

I have had pretty much the same situation and was perfectly happy to have the child for the extra time. Particularly as my dd wouldn’t have wanted said child to miss her party.
I’d do as Testingtesting says and just explain your situation, ask if it would be convenient. It’s hardly cf’ery.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 17/06/2018 18:27

Isn't a local babysitter an obvious answer?

What?!

What for? The mum has said it's fine and he can be dropped off early.

A local babysitter 🤣😮

Downtroddenandrough · 17/06/2018 18:48

Personally I don’t think that’s unreasonable at all. I think one weeks notice for a party is ridiculous. Just be honest. Tell the situation. At the end of the day it’s only thirty mins. Say that your child will be happy to help with any setting up that needs doing in the 30 mins. I would have no problem with t if I were the mum.

Deidre21 · 17/06/2018 19:36

I personally would have no problem with a parent asking to drop their child off early to a party I was having for my child. It is just one child after all, but that is just me.

MombieMumbles · 17/06/2018 19:40

If someone asked if they could drop their child off earlier to my kid's party because of a prior commitment I wouldn't mind at all. It would be a shame for your kid to miss out. That's how I would perceive it.

NoKnickerElastic · 17/06/2018 20:04

Can't believe the number of people saying this is rude. I must be a total CF, would have no issue either asking, or being asked to do this.

limecordial · 17/06/2018 20:43

We had DD’s party at home. One mum rang to say she was working and so was her OH...would it be ok to drop their DC half an hour early. We were fine with it. DD was happy to have her friend there and it really wasn’t a big deal at all

Starlyte · 17/06/2018 21:55

Maybe ask DC if one of his good friends is going? If not, why not? But it would be better to arrange it with a friend, and kids are nervous going to parties at that age often, so with a friend could work out, to be repaid in kind at the next party, maybe?

sneeders · 18/06/2018 00:15

You can’t ask the party people, preparing for a party is enough, and when my kids were small there were people eho did this kind of thing and it really pissed me off, but if your child has a friend who is also going and you do know the parent well you could ask if you could drop your child with them early and pick up from them....

m0therofdragons · 18/06/2018 00:45

I have 3 dc so one extra for 30mins is nothing. We had a party at home once and a Mum hadn't read the invite properly so turned up 30 minutes early. Dd1 was 5 and I had 18 month old twins. The Mum made a mistake but it wasn't an issue and she just came early so I had 2 5yo and 2 18 month olds. The Mum is lovely and I still speak to her 5 years later. Some of you are so unnecessarily stressy!

Marmablade · 18/06/2018 01:22

We had a party dilemma because DH was getting back from somewhere at one time and I needed to be at work for another time and we had one invited to the party and
and a younger DD. I explained to party mum and she even offered to pick up the party daughter although I did manage to get her there. We agreed 30 minutes early and everyone was happy. I only knew the mum from the playground before but since then we've met up socially and for a playdate so it was a bit of an ice breaker.

Marriedwithchildren5 · 18/06/2018 03:05

NoKnickerElastic- we have friends Grin I couldn't imagine not asking!

CheeseyToast · 18/06/2018 03:35

Context is everything. One extra for 30mins, arranged in decent time (not just rocking up early) at a typical party is fine. But if you're throwing a party for 40 and 6 of the parents phone an he before hand wanting to drop and run, then no way.
But keep trotting out the absolutes if it makes you feel good 🙄

dundermiflin · 18/06/2018 04:34

I love this thread. So much overthinking Grin

I'm glad party Mum is normal Wink

Sparklyglitter · 18/06/2018 06:49

I don’t think you are being cf at all! Make sure you ask in a way where the mum can easily say no and choose when is convenient for her when you drop off. Your child will entertain hers and they’ll both be out of the way while she’s getting ready for the party. I wouldn’t mind at all, the only time I roll my eyes at stuff like this is when they have prior for this kind of thing!

AnnieAnoniMouser · 18/06/2018 08:12

Why don’t people at least read the OP’s posts before posting themselves?

OneStepSideways · 18/06/2018 08:15

I wouldn't mind a party guest coming early, if the mum let me know in advance. She could keep the birthday girl company and help get things set up. I don't think it's an unreasonable request.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 18/06/2018 10:47

I love this thread. So much overthinking. I'm glad party Mum is normal

As opposed to what? Confused

One extra for 30mins, arranged in decent time (not just rocking up early) at a typical party is fine. But if you're throwing a party for 40 and 6 of the parents phone an he before hand wanting to drop and run, then no way. But keep trotting out the absolutes if it makes you feel good

Quite.

And yes, we know the OP has a reply from the party mum, it can still be discussed...

Ushittingme · 18/06/2018 13:44

I honestly must be missing something .. everyone getting mad about a child coming 30 mins early.. to a childs party??? Shes not asking her to adopt the kid.. jesus some peoples heads are so far up their own asses.

Op ask her if she would mind, most sane and reasonable humans would have zero issue with such a request.

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