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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's not normal to leave washing up over night?

307 replies

BigMamaTee · 13/06/2018 22:12

Had to have words with DP tonight...

Can anyone please tell me if I'm being unreasonable or not in thinking that:

  • surfaces should be wiped after use (not 3 days later)
  • if you cook on the hob and get oil everywhere you should clean it (same day)
  • you don't leave washing up overnight to get smelly and gross
  • nor do you leave bits of food floating in the drain catcher in the sink when you can just put them straight in the bin
  • it's not normal to do not one bit of cleaning in the week and to just mop a floor or give a surface a wipe on a Sunday

AIBU in expecting DP to do the above? I'm not a clean freak but I like the house to be clean. I'm torn between leaving his shit for him to do and it building up all week for him to half heartedly clean on the weekend, or to just clean it myself and be happy my house is clean but to want to nut him for being so lazy....

OP posts:
Shiftymake · 13/06/2018 23:07

At the moment there is a few small plates after snacks and a couple of cups, they are waiting to be washed tomorrow Grin

Original poster
BigMamaTee · 13/06/2018 23:07

noobly it's not annoying me it's really interesting and I'm understanding that DP might be normal after all! Also it's our house not mine Confused

OP posts:
Beamur · 13/06/2018 23:07

Sounds like my house tbh.
I'd prefer it cleaner, but I'm not willing to spend any more time cleaning than I do! If I cook, the kitchen is left tidy but not so if DH cooks...

UrgentScurryfunge · 13/06/2018 23:09

I'm a leave it and blitz later type. I can see what I've achieved then. For me, there is no satisfaction in faffing along with it as I go, and I struggle with the focus of do it as you go as I'd end up wondering why the smoke alarm is going off as I get lost into a chain of faffy jobs and forget that there's a half-cooked dinner welding itself onto the pan.

We eat comparatively late as a family so that DH is in, and DCs are done with activities. When dinner is finished, it's straight to bedtime mode. By the time that's done, I'm fit only for the sofa.

NordicNobody · 13/06/2018 23:11

I don't mind leaving it til the morning, but that's as far as I can go. Last nights dishes are still sat by the sink. I've asked dp about 20,000,000 times to wash them (since last night was "his" night to wash up, though shockingly he just can't seem to remember which day is which - it's sooooo hard isn't it, remembering to do something every other day 😤) If they're still there in the morning I'm going to put them in his office so he's the one who has to bloody look at them all day.

Original poster
BigMamaTee · 13/06/2018 23:12

To be fair it's likely just me then. I'm the type of person who always has to be doing something. Not very good at just sitting in front of the tv in case I'm watching something specific. Go to my allotment most days too look after veg, and of course keep my house clean! Maybe my standards are too high and I expect too much from DP. I get that, we are totally different clearly!

OP posts:
Original poster
BigMamaTee · 13/06/2018 23:12

*unless not in case

OP posts:
madcatladyforever · 13/06/2018 23:13

I do the washing up the next day. I'm far too tired after work to do it.

Gwenhwyfar · 13/06/2018 23:13

"I'm not a clean freak"

Yes, you are.

I often leave my washing up all week. It does smell after 3-4 days, I admit, but 3 days would be fine.

BakedBeans47 · 13/06/2018 23:13

Hmm I am a bit of a housework slattern.
My main objection to overnight laundry on the line is the risk of spiders abseiling down it the next day

AgentProvocateur · 13/06/2018 23:16

@zibbidoozibbidoozibbidoo, genuine question - where else would you drain your can of tuna if not the sink? (I’m wondering how grotty I really amWink)

Original poster
BigMamaTee · 13/06/2018 23:16

gwen I'm really not. I don't need him to do it immediately, I clean my bathroom and every other room including mopping once a week which I don't think is freaky. It's just the kitchen when you're cooking and chopping raw meat etc and leaving food floating in the sink - that's what I think should be cleaned daily! Just my opinion but I don't think that makes me a clean freak Smile

OP posts:
sleepymouse · 13/06/2018 23:16

Yanbu, for me the kitchen needs to be cleared every evening after dinner - this means benches wiped, dishwasher stacked and non-dishwasher items washed. DH will leave the washing up until bedtime but for me it's hard to relax. I would not be happy with dirty dishes sat on the side for days on end

OliviaStabler · 13/06/2018 23:17

Overnight for one night is fine.

FrangipaniBlue · 13/06/2018 23:17

Well MN you have surprised me, I fully expected to come on this thread and see post after post telling OP "YANBU your DH is a skank - get scrubbing!"

We wash the same night if there are lots ie we've had veg so 3/4 steamer pans plus plates, potato masher, cutlery etc but tonight we only had hot chicken sandwiches (1 oven tray + 2 plates) so we've left them until morning.

Original poster
BigMamaTee · 13/06/2018 23:17

agent I drain mine down the sink but have to run water over it to get rid of the smell (tuna is pretty strong though compared to most food!) - can't think of where else you would empty it!

OP posts:
Freshfeelings · 13/06/2018 23:18

You're both normal, you just have mismatched priorities and expectations.

Original poster
BigMamaTee · 13/06/2018 23:19

This thread has surprised me too but it's very interesting to read!

OP posts:
IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens · 13/06/2018 23:20

Those are generally good rules but I wouldn't be too strict. Sometimes life gets in the way. Some times I drop everything and need to sleep. Sometimes I leave a pile of things to go in the dishwasher when it gets emptied in the morning.

keyboardjellyfish · 13/06/2018 23:21

Hmmmm....

surfaces should be wiped after use (not 3 days later)- yep
if you cook on the hob and get oil everywhere you should clean it (same day)- definetely
you don't leave washing up overnight to get smelly and gross- nope. i leave it overnight regularly!
nor do you leave bits of food floating in the drain catcher in the sink when you can just put them straight in the bin- yeah this is rank
it's not normal to do not one bit of cleaning in the week and to just mop a floor or give a surface a wipe on a Sunday- this is taking the piss!

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 13/06/2018 23:21

I’m with you. My DH is the same. Drives me potty.

bridgetosomewhere · 13/06/2018 23:22

I can’t leave dishes until the morning. Dishwasher goes on every night and anything that won’t fit in is washed and put away.

Surfaces wiped down and everything in kitchen and living room gets tidied away ready for the new day.

I couldn’t sit down and watch tv knowing there was a big mess left.

Dh probably could although he is getting better in his old age and will often say come on let’s get tidied up so we can relax!

AjasLipstick · 13/06/2018 23:23

OP you're right! It's disgusting to leave used crockery all night. It reeks. Then the bits of food are all crusted on!

bridgetosomewhere · 13/06/2018 23:24

Also with you on cleaning out the sink - can’t stand bits of food in there!

Original poster
BigMamaTee · 13/06/2018 23:24

Maybe he fact that I'm 20 weeks pregnant and have an extremely heightened sense of smell (and low tolerance) isn't helping Grin

OP posts:
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