to think it's not normal to leave washing up over night?

[BigMamaTee]

Had to have words with DP tonight...

Can anyone please tell me if I'm being unreasonable or not in thinking that:

• surfaces should be wiped after use (not 3 days later)
• if you cook on the hob and get oil everywhere you should clean it (same day)
• you don't leave washing up overnight to get smelly and gross
• nor do you leave bits of food floating in the drain catcher in the sink when you can just put them straight in the bin
• it's not normal to do not one bit of cleaning in the week and to just mop a floor or give a surface a wipe on a Sunday

AIBU in expecting DP to do the above? I'm not a clean freak but I like the house to be clean. I'm torn between leaving his shit for him to do and it building up all week for him to half heartedly clean on the weekend, or to just clean it myself and be happy my house is clean but to want to nut him for being so lazy....

We often leave what can’t go in the dishwasher for a day or 2 if we can’t be bothered. Sometimes we wipe surfaces, sometimes we don’t.

I don’t think your DP is unreasonable in leaving it, life is too short to be overly bothered about it. But equally if doing it makes you happy then that’s ok too!

I always leave it but usually the kitchens clean by 7am. I do it first thing if I e got the time.

Leaving washing up overnight is totally normal. Leaving washing up for days on end is really horrid.

I speak as a very untidy and messy person (and I only clean the cooker once a week).

Generally eat around 9pm

why so late? Why not eat with your children?

I agree with all of those, but we do leave washing up over night.
The main meal is mostly washed up, but we eat late, due to work, so some is left, but not greasy smelly stuff.
YANBU, but those are his standards, get him to do just one or two of them, point out how nice it looks and how easier it is to live like this.
My dh did this with me to improve my standards, and it's worked.

Ok, example... DP makes tuna pasta, opens tuna tins, drains in to sink, puts plates on top, leaves it in the sink in warm weather, it stinks!

He leaves it overnight, but then he leaves it overnight again, and again, and again until it gets to Sunday where he wipes a surface (ish) and does his weeks worth of washing up!

I'm realising now that maybe my wish to have a 10 minute tidy in the evening is maybe a bit too much to ask (yes it only takes 10 minutes to do washing up for a meal for two!)

We're leavers too (dinner plates) as we usually eat quite late. I always do it first thing in the morning before anyone else gets up so that I don't have to think about it and it's out of the way.

Do you take it in turns to do the washing up or is it something he always does?

Yuck I'd hate that too. Why live in a mess when you coukd clean up straight after and it woukd be nicer. Its going to get done eventually so sooner rather than later makes more sense.

Instigate getting clearing up out of the way as you serve up and immediately after eating. He needs to start basic cleaning every day.

As a concession you coukd get a cleaner to do a more in depth clean once a week

Who wants to live surroundedby mess?

I think you’re both a bit off by the sounds of it. He’s a bit too relaxed, you’re a bit too uptight. You might both be happier meeting in the middle.

drains in to sink

That alone would drive me batty! I simply could not allow it

moon if it's a meal for both of us we take it in turns but I don't get back from work until after 8 a lot of the time so we cook separately as he likes to eat earlier. This is usually 3-4 times a week during he week. In this case we do our own washing up. It's not a 'not mine I'm not doing it' kind of thing but I do feel like if I do it all the time he stops doing it and I become the cleaning fairy.

I can't get worked up about it. If it gets one, it gets one. If not, it goes in the dishwasher in the morning. If I didn't have a dishwasher I'd be more inclined to get it cleared, but I wouldn't stress over it.
Worktops - cleaned as/when needed. Again, I can't get worked up about it (I often prep stuff on a chopping board). As long as they're clean when you're using them to prepare food, what's the issue?

YANBU - have never left washing up overnight and don’t know anyone who does. Could not face a dirty kitchen the next day. After dinner we clear the table and wash up together - it’s done in a flash with everyone helping.

I'm with you OP, I clean as I go and I wash up after every meal (no dishwasher). I'm a self confessed clean freak though and can't handle bits of food lurking where it shouldn't be. Before I make any meal I fill the sink with hot soapy water and I wash up as I go along then wash all plates and cutlery etc once I've finished my food.

I don't think we could live together! I wish I was more like you but I just don't care enough! I love a clean kitchen but not enough to make sure it is spick and span every night.

Wow - a completely divided AIBU.

I think you’re both a bit off by the sounds of it. He’s a bit too relaxed, you’re a bit too uptight. You might both be happier meeting in the middle

This

johnny no you're right I absolutely couldn't live with you and nor you me by the sounds of things! I can't imagine what my house would look like if I didn't clean for two weeks!

I often leave ours. But regret it in the morning when I have to do it before I can get brekkie, (and the kitchen stinks of last nights korma!)

You have a point OP!

kala totally divided! Leading me to believe that neither DP or myself is right, we are just totally different (but still think 10 mins of cleaning the kitchen isn't too much to ask in the evening 😜)

• surfaces should be wiped after use (not 3 days later) YES
• if you cook on the hob and get oil everywhere you should clean it (same day)* YES*
• you don't leave washing up overnight to get smelly and gross* Depends!*
• nor do you leave bits of food floating in the drain catcher in the sink when you can just put them straight in the bin* YES*
• it's not normal to do not one bit of cleaning in the week and to just mop a floor or give a surface a wipe on a Sunday Depends,but I do mop everyday if I feel like it needs it.

as a general goal yes its normal to wash up every day, wipe surfaces after use and bring washing in.... but I dont always manage to do these things.

The washing I only very rarely leave outside over night and thats because i will have completely forgotten about it, if I remember i always bring it in otherwise it gets damp from dew and needs re washing.

wiping surfaces after use I usually do unless im extremely tired and its late or they look perfectly clean and I only wiped them recently.

The washing up can slide.... stuff like used cups can pile up and we are regularly guilty of just leaving dirty oven trays in the oven overnight and a dirty pan on the hob with its lid on.. because out of sight out of mind!!

Mu husband is pretty much on the same page so I wouldnt make a big deal out of slight laziness to him because im just as guilty.

One thing he does do which really grinds my gears is cook veg in a pan then serve it out but leave a tiny bit in the bottom then put the lid on the pan and leave it over night.....

I do think its a bit minging to leave actual food out over night just on the side.... and when I come to wash it the next day I have to scoop some rank veg out which is gross!

I think YANBU to be pissed off if he never does these things... but I also think you ought to cut some slack sometimes if its only every so often he slips a bit

Overnight- normal. Days and days... grim!

Sorry, my thread title should have read 'overnight x5'

Your house, your rules. Asking a large group won't actually deal with the problem but could annoy you further. Tell the people in your house you've had enough.