to think it's not normal to leave washing up over night?

[BigMamaTee]

Had to have words with DP tonight...

Can anyone please tell me if I'm being unreasonable or not in thinking that:

• surfaces should be wiped after use (not 3 days later)
• if you cook on the hob and get oil everywhere you should clean it (same day)
• you don't leave washing up overnight to get smelly and gross
• nor do you leave bits of food floating in the drain catcher in the sink when you can just put them straight in the bin
• it's not normal to do not one bit of cleaning in the week and to just mop a floor or give a surface a wipe on a Sunday

AIBU in expecting DP to do the above? I'm not a clean freak but I like the house to be clean. I'm torn between leaving his shit for him to do and it building up all week for him to half heartedly clean on the weekend, or to just clean it myself and be happy my house is clean but to want to nut him for being so lazy....

Yeah I do mine in the morning I only see oh for a few hours in evening not going to waste it. I work evenings so have time in the morning to do it. If he's not doing it in the morning I'd be having words

still think 10 mins of cleaning the kitchen isn't too much to ask in the evening For some people you would be right.

BUT for other people it means doing something they dont like every single day, a nightmare. Its much more preferable to do something you dont like once a week.

I mean who can enjoy a good meal if it is forever immediately connected with doing something you dont like. I like to enjoy meals not dread them.

It is much easier to wash dishes immediately although I have to say we now have a dishwasher thankfully as I strongly suspect my DH would leave them too. He is terrible at cleaning pans etc and wiping down surfaces when he clears up. One cooks and one clears up. I would not like to come down to a dirty kitchen in the morning either so YANBU.

I'm with you op. All gets cleaned straight after tea etc. I don't sit down till it's clean. Children help though. Occasionally.

You're both normal.

My rule is that, as long as the house isn't actually a genuine health hazard, I'll clean what I want when I want. If you have a different idea of how or when things should be cleaned, you are welcome to do them yourself.

Always clear the kitchen before bed. Maybe if a pan or tray is very baked on, I'd leave it overnight. Otherwise kitchen is cleaned before bed.

I don't always clean the job every day because I cleverly bought one with a glass lid that I put down and so I can ignore it. I win at life

I'm with you OP... everything is wiped/washed before I go to bed...

allnames I'm really not a pain. I do everything for DP. Cook, clean, make his meals for him, look after his DD etc. That's the real story and I am asking for him to clean for 10 minutes a day, that's all! I can think of worse things to ask

Allnames also find it odd that you think I should just clean up after him every night! What a great way to stop him from doing any cleaning at all!

Reading this thread I can now see why so many student flats and residences are a filthy festering mess. Clearly many people (ie parents) lack both basic hygiene and the self discipline to do mildly unpleasant tasks. The result is adult children who are dirty and inconsiderate and who force the consequenses of this on those who share their facilities.

Also, I work in a CAT A men's prison as an officer. Only admitting that as I've name changed! Trust me you couldn't' work where I do if you were a 'clean freak' - glad I'm on light duties for another 20 weeks though

I try to wash up before I go to bed but am not perfect.My ex used to stack stuff in the sink and put water in then leave it so before I could wash I had to take everything out,remove manky water and remove grade from plates that had been cleaning before they went into the sink.
I also now have a kitchen too small for a dishwasher.

DH got in from work at nine thirty tonight he left at eight this morning. We didn't eat until after ten, I loaded the dishwasher as I was cooking and set it off full, but as we speak there are plates, cutlery a baking tray and some glasses in/by the sink. DH will unload and reload in the morning, the baking tray will need scrubbing. I don't expect anyone to worry about dishes at eleven at night. When we didn't have a dishwasher it was nearly always left until morning. We work long unsociable hours and I'd rather spend an hour with him before bed than worry about the kitchen. I'm working away for the next few weeks so won't see him at all. I just have other priorities.

fash my DP leaves at 7:50 and gets in at 4:10 lucky sod!

@BigMamaTee I've been into a number of her majesty's facilities (for professional reasons of course) and my god, some of Mumsnet would have heart attacks 😁. Especially when there's a dirty protest.....

@FASH84 haha! I've been INSIDE a dirty protest cell a number of times. With a C&R mask on of course. It's vile. I've also been 'potted' as have most staff on my wing and had a turn thrown in my hair. Yes, a turd! Absolutely vile.

*turd that's meant to read.

I think your routine sounds normal except I don't clean the hob that often as I get put the steam cleaner to avoid chemicals and it's a bit of a faff.

It used to be like that in our house - because I was terribly ill for some years and dh was determined that it was my job to clean; as I was too ill to clean and look after the baby (also my job) I prioritised the baby. Washing up and wiping down of surfaces etc got left, sometimes for days and days.

I think dd was about 8 before I could reliably stand up long enough to wash up and wasn't so likely to drop things from tremors and muscle fatigue.

DH gradually became more involved in cleaning, at least cleaning the kitchen, and so now it's just whoever does it. Supper washing up gets done the next day as I am still exhausted at the end of the day. DH doesn't seem inclined to wipe down surfaces though.

Never leave it overnight. It's gross to come down to and much easier to clean by rinsing straight after use and popping in the dishwasher. Even when I'm tired after a big party I can't leave it!

I would hate to come down the next morning to make breakfast and have to see the kitchen in a mess with dirty surfaces and last night’s washing up. Occasional exceptions apply if I’m totally exhausted and fall asleep early or we’ve got back super late from a day out but generally ir gets done.

And yes to cleaning the surfaces/hob straight after use so they can be used again. Imagine preparing breakfast/packed lunch on a filthy worktop 🤮

While I feel your pain about greasy mess on the hob - I think you need to not stress about dirty pots left overnight.

No rules in my house. I gave up on that one years ago. Life for me and DH used to be more orderly kind of before adult children came back from uni and then I just had to give up and go with the flow. As long as it gets done I'm fine. I just live in hope that one day they will have saved enough money for a deposit and leave me and DH to live once more in a tidy house. I do have to bite my tongue sometimes because I am a bit controlly about loading the dishwasher properly and I do like to have my cupboards tidy. But dishes left out overnight - nope that isn't one of my bug bears. To be honest I prefer to tackle the kitchen in the morning once everyone has left for work.

I leave the washing up overnight as my DH doesn't come home until midnight, so I cook dinner very late. I wash it and dry it all up first thing in the morning as well as clean the kitchen once I've made my DS his breakfast.