to think it's not normal to leave washing up over night?

[BigMamaTee]

Had to have words with DP tonight...

Can anyone please tell me if I'm being unreasonable or not in thinking that:

• surfaces should be wiped after use (not 3 days later)
• if you cook on the hob and get oil everywhere you should clean it (same day)
• you don't leave washing up overnight to get smelly and gross
• nor do you leave bits of food floating in the drain catcher in the sink when you can just put them straight in the bin
• it's not normal to do not one bit of cleaning in the week and to just mop a floor or give a surface a wipe on a Sunday

AIBU in expecting DP to do the above? I'm not a clean freak but I like the house to be clean. I'm torn between leaving his shit for him to do and it building up all week for him to half heartedly clean on the weekend, or to just clean it myself and be happy my house is clean but to want to nut him for being so lazy....

I can not bare coming down in the morning to mess. I also chose not to get pissed off with others mess, as otherwise I just get pissed off. I couldn't though live with a skanky pig. How old is he? Do his parents live like this. I think to me this would be a huge red flag. It's not respectful, it's lazy and it's unhygenic. My dad hoovered twice in 30 years. Goodluck.

We often leave it until the morning. We're too busy slumping in front of the telly to bother with it in the evening.

We do generally rinse off, or sometimes wash properly, particularly smelly dishes that have been used for fish etc. And stack it up so we don't come down the next day to a kitchen overflowing with it.

I don't have time/inclination to do it in the morning! I can't relax if the kitchen is a mess. YANBU.

I have found In This situation, when you have opposite opinions on cleaning that you both have to compromise.

So I like a clean tidy house and dp doesn't see it as urgent, I get annoyed at mess and he doesn't and takes his time. So I have had to hold my tongue and try and loosen up and he tries his best to do the stuff that annoys me quicker. It's the only way we can live together without arguments

Washing up has to be done straight after a meal in this house. Plates and things stacked in the dishwasher, saucepans or frying pans that cannot go in there washed straight away in the sink.

I cannot relax surrounded by dirty dishes, and I certainly don't want to get up to them in the morning.

It is something I insist upon in our house. I once even made DD1 come back from a friend's house when she had gone out leaving a pile of unwashed pans and plates. She never did it again, and as a student over the last few years she got irritated by her friends whenever they left washing up.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. If they get done, that’s great but if they don’t then it really doesn’t matter. Far more important things to worry about in this life!

We don’t clean at all during the week, DH does the dishwasher every other day or we’d have nothing to eat off, but otherwise we do a quick hoover at the weekend and clean the kitchen on Sunday morning while we’re making breakfast and give the bathroom a quick wipe over after I’ve had a bath on Sunday night.
The house only gets a good clean if we’re expecting guests.
I don’t like cleaning, I have much more interesting things to do with my free time and it’s not really the end of the world if my bookshelves are a bit dusty!

Im with you OP, kitchens need properly cleaned at least once a day - I tend to do mine at night, after dinner and after I put the kids down. I can’t relax if the kitchen is dirty. My DH now accepts this after 15 years but the first 10 were hard work. I won’t stay in my MIL’s house because she leaves all her dishes for up to 2 weeks. It’s foul and it stinks. Yuck

@BigMamaTee I know lots of people have said they think you're being unreasonable but I want you to know I am going to print your list in your OP and pin it to my kitchen wall as my New Kitchen Rules!

I'm with you. I hate it being left. It does take longer the 10 mins in my house though. There is 6 of us. I must admit I'm a little OCD. I like them washed, put away and sides bleached because of food bacteria. I then sweep the floor from all the bits of food that fall from the kids ect.

I hate coming down to a mucky kitchen. Too much stuff to do on a morning!

Dishes get put in the dishwasher at the end of every meal, surfaces wiped down. After dinner, dishes always washed straight away, surfaces wiped down and dishwasher turned on. The kids do it in the evening.

Coming in to a messy kitchen in the morning, when there's enough to do to get ready for the school and work day, doesn't make sense to me.

And leaving dirty plates out overnight to get crusty and potentially attract rodents, ants, whatever, especially in summer, is a bit grim.

DM used to have to 'nag' us to do it straight after dinner - DB and I didn't get it, we just bought as long as it gets done in the evening, what does it matter exactly when. I totally get it now. Sorry Mum.

With you op I wash pots/pans as I go and straight after meals it's easier than when foods dried on things.
How does your DP take it when you say to him about it? We all seem to do things differently and maybe don't think about it until it's brought up

I have an open plan kitchen which is quite small onto the lounge, I tidy up as I go when cooking, you would run out of room otherwise, ou cannot escape into another room if its messy. I do now have a dishwasher (rare treat!) other stuff soaked for washing definitely before bed. With the 2 of us normally, unless I have been baking, it can go 2 days. There is a orld of difference between stacking stuff in the dishwasher ready to go on, and leaving it out, there are so many flies around at the moment. DH< completely opposite, doesnt "see" mess. How could you leave stuff 2 weeks, they must have a lot of crockery.

My dishwasher broke down, I need a new one. I have been known to leave the dishes all week.

It's all well and good having a big clean every night but it's not hurting anyone to leave it overnight. Time in the evenings can be really precious.

I used to be like you, then I inherited a lazy DH and 2 kids who eat up all my time. Standards slip, it still gets done. It's not a huge deal.

Time in the evenings can be really precious.

Time in the morning is nonexistent, if you work and have to get everyone out the door by 7:40am.

Exactly ^^

We wash up/and load dish washer and wipe kitchen surfaces after every meal, I definitely do not leave until next day as crockery is harder to wash, I don't like an untidy kitchen and don't put off what I can do today.

Having a clean kitchen is lower down in my list of priorities than getting some time in the evening to sit down and relax.

Some people just can't relax unless their kitchen is clean, and it causes them huge discomfort to leave a mess. Other people get incredibly unhappy if they have to work, cook, clean and then go to bed with no leisure time.

Neither of those are unreasonable.

I used to leave it when I lived on my own. Then moved in with partner and he always immediately clears up. It’s lovely to come down on the morning and it’s clean. Its changed my habits and now even when he’s away I clear up at night.

I like comin* down to a clear kitchen.

We’ve probably left dishes overnight about 5 times in 9 years, all after tremendous parties.

Well this seems to run against mumsnet norms of washing everything asap, ie washing towels and clothes every day. I happily leave both towels & clothes for a couple of days, but washing up is done every day. Dirty washing up attracts insects and rodents. Plus, I have a small kitchen. No space to make breakfast if dirty washing up is around, and dirty stuff is off putting first thing in the morning. And I use my dishwasher daily, would not leave scraps on plates gradually going off for a few days. Plus it’s always completely full every day anyway and there are only 4 in the family, how it a dishwasher not filled everyday? And surfaces are so much harder to clean if you don’t do it straightaway. Well, now I’ve discovered my cleaning weak point. And yes it is always me that does it, but I work part time and DH does not get home til 9 pm most days, which in my view absolves him, I am home at 5:30, 5:45 ish.

I leave my dishes overnight, usually doing them when i come home from work and just before i cook dinner. I do rinse off any food and wipe down any spills etc
Unless it was a small/quick meal with just a few plates and like 1 pan or something then i might just get them out of the way.
The main reason i leave them is really stupid, i had an 'incident' a few years ago when a mouse ran over my feet while i was standing at the sink doing dishes one night and now i avoid it even when i know there's no mice in the house

YANBU. And that's coming from someone with a cluttered room most the time. I never leave my mess for others to see or deal with in other parts of the house.

And surfaces should always be immediately cleaned up. Seems like common sense/curtesy.

I def agree with you, I don’t mind steep dishes whilst having a cuppa but not days on end it’s manky

Aghhhhhh Luna That’s gross. Moose scampering over your feet