To not attend family friend's wedding for this ridiculousness?

[Alookerer]

My mum, dad, sister and me have been invited to a family friend's wedding. Known her all our lives.

She says on the invite 'No Under 18s'

We did wonder why our other sister wasn't invited. She's 17 (18 a week after the wedding), and has a DC of her own.

My mum did mention in passing if DSister2 was invited if she could arrange childcare and the family friend's response was "Sorry, but I'm sticking with No under 18s".

I think family friend is being unreasonable. It isn't down to venue restrictions, either. It's a very basic wedding with a little buffet and stuff afterwards. I had my wedding at the same location.

I asked my DH, who usually sees both sides and agrees with the other person and not me, and even he agrees it is very odd!

What do you think?

AIBU to think she should be invited?

The last few posters need to read the thread.

This wasn't about having a 'kid' at the wedding. This was specifically set up to exclude the OP's sister; she and the bride to be have had words, it's been confirmed, and they are no longer friends.

Oh sorry OP

The bride doesn't like your sister because of the baby. Either she disapproves or she's jealous. You've made the right decision not to go.

Trust your gut, if you feel this is strange then it probably is. To me it sounds odd, and not very nice.

As she knows your family so well do you think it's down to your sister rather than her pregnancy? Did she always have to tag along, is she attention seeking or otherwise irritating?
That text sounds to me that she very much sees your sister as a child regardless of how close to 18 she is.

There was a follow up conversation after the texting...

Right but the OP doesn't mention specifics.

If bride said " come on, you know what your sister is like", I'm not sure what the comeback is accept to get flouncy.
Maybe the sister is a fucking nightmare and over 18's was a good get out.
They are old family friends, did you all invite your embarassingly right wing aunt or your alcoholic uncle?

Sorry, op, but it’s her wedding and her decision. Your sister is not 18, if the bride makes an exception for her, then others will come forward and aske why an exception couldn’t be made for their underage family neither.

The bride only wants 18+ at her wedding, and if that’s what she wants, that’s what she should have. It is HER wedding.

So now you have a choice. To go or not to go. That’s your choice and only your choice.

Some people are ridiculous when getting hitched. I had this with my 'd' sis.

Invitation: a one child policy..only I had twins.

I read between the lines, that day

a one child policy..

What did you do? Pick your favourite or the loudest cryer

Fav have you read the thread? Op has made her decision and is not going, none of her family is. And that's the brides loss for being judgemental about the Ops 17 year and 51 week old sister who is a mother and already more of an adult than the bride will ever be.

Her wedding, her choice. But not especially logical.

Thing is though when people go for adult nights out they want to behave like adults. She may be a young 17, your friend isn't comfortable with it. I don't think she's unreasonable really.

She's not a "young" 17. She is 17 and 51 weeks. With a baby.
The OP has not said her sister is silly or immature.
She and her family, including the Dad were upset that her sister alone had been excluded. They offered to find childcare for the sister's child if that was a problem.
The OP asked the bride if the sister could come and the bride's excuse was that no kids were to be invited.
TheOP said the bride didn't like the fact that the sister had a child and had blanked her in person and on social media.

if you're a parent, you're not a kid anymore. you're responsible for another life. that earns you your stripes i reckon.

It's her day and if that's how she wants it.... however I'd find myself really busy that day, probably doing something with my sister!

People are twats at weddings. I use it as a method for filtering out people I can't be arsed being friends with anymore. For me this scenario would be a firm not going and not bothering with the friendship anymore.

My family felt they had to go to my cousin's engagement but I wasn't invited. I'm the eldest so no age thing and I was 18 at the time We were told it was a numbers thing and they couldn't invite me unless someone said no. I was pregnant and I'm still convinced that is why they didn't invite me. We are NC now after a major row about excluding my DSs.

Perhaps she doesn't want to be in the position of under 18s consuming alcohol which these days would be more than likely when in a social setting, even smuggling it in. It is her choice, not anything you can do. Choice is yours but I would go.

I hope your sister likes the car and I'm so glad you aren't going. what did she say in the conversation?

I wish people would RTFT. In fact I actually think it's really rude not even to read OPs subsequent posts.

I'm glad you aren't worried about this reaching daily fail because it's in the mirror www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/family/woman-outraged-discovers-ridiculous-reason-12709112.amp

Yep really daft not to RTFT. Any comments are redundant.

That said I seriously doubt if the bride is thinking maliciously or just thinking about herself. Whereas the Op is thinking bigger picture.

Who comes off worse? The bride for losing the friendship at the expense of being blackmailed into inviting a guest she doesn't want or the family who make an issue out of not going or make the daughter feel bad if they do. Tis why the Middle East conflict is ongoing. All about perspective.

Personally if the daughter is an adult she should understand that not everyone gets invited to every wedding, Some friends don't, some partners don't, some family don't. It may be rude or not but it's the couples day. Under 18's means under 18's. Take it personally or not but it s not your wedding.

What are some of you on!!!
I would not go to a family or close friends wedding if one of my family were excluded for such a daft reason .... where is your loyalty and why would you not stand by your sibling!! Imagine what it will feel like to be left out like this .... being a bride does not give you automatic rights to shit on supposed close friends ...
Op please show your sister some support being a young mum can be tough and isolating enough ...

Glad you are sticking together as a family... when this couple have a family of their own they may just appreciate what a decent family should do for each other .... and when they look back at photos it will always have a tinge of sadness ( and regret I hope)as they remember why you all were not there...

Sounds like you made the right decision, what a shame. The end of a long running friendship is such a sad thing.

Cant believe the mirror took the story, how non news do the tabloids get