To not attend family friend's wedding for this ridiculousness?

[Alookerer]

My mum, dad, sister and me have been invited to a family friend's wedding. Known her all our lives.

She says on the invite 'No Under 18s'

We did wonder why our other sister wasn't invited. She's 17 (18 a week after the wedding), and has a DC of her own.

My mum did mention in passing if DSister2 was invited if she could arrange childcare and the family friend's response was "Sorry, but I'm sticking with No under 18s".

I think family friend is being unreasonable. It isn't down to venue restrictions, either. It's a very basic wedding with a little buffet and stuff afterwards. I had my wedding at the same location.

I asked my DH, who usually sees both sides and agrees with the other person and not me, and even he agrees it is very odd!

What do you think?

AIBU to think she should be invited?

She's no friend. Your sister doesn't fit in with her perfect wedding. No kids means no children who need looking after, I would have thought.

I would reply along the lines 'you're asking me to choose between you and my sister. Much as you are a dear friend, and I wish you nothing but happiness, my sister is my sister.'

Your sister is not a child!

BTW, you haven't blacked out the names on that, you might want to get the post deleted in case this ends up in the Fail.

I'm not too fussed if she finds this thread or sees it on the Daily Mail.

I've just had a very interesting yet saddening conversation with her that outs her as a completely judgmental busy body

Friendship over. The memories are nice

Think you've made the right decision OP X

that's a shame alookerer it's not nice losing friendships

She sounds awful think you made the right choice op. If challenged by people around her, comment that child-free weddings are indeed great but that a mature, quiet, responsible 17yo parent hardly meets that definition.

She’s awful.
Your sister is lucky to have an amazing supportive family.
Your ‘friend’ is the one who will lose out.

Aw, sorry for you OP. Things like this are so stressful.

Someone once did something to me that was incomprehensibly awful and outed her as a nasty piece fo work (contrary to her outward appearance).

I got a great piece of advice which was to find a way to make sure that everyone who knew us both found out about it, without losing it or spreading muck.

So I did - I told the gobbiest mutual friend how confused and upset I was (and I was!), in the sure and certain knowledge she'd pass this on to the parents she knew at the woman's kid's school.

I'm not especially proud but it was deeply satisfying! So I recommend you do the same ;)

I’m all for their wedding their rules, but that text message makes it crystal clear that it’s personal!

She’s not going to “make an exception for one kid”... “one kid”?? Oh that’s so disrespectful! Your sister is almost 18 with a child of her own, she is very much an adult.

Good riddance, I say OP. You should all do something lovely that day as a family.

Glad you stuck up for your sister OP.
FF has shown her true colours.

oh OP, that's such a shame.

it's always so sad when people let us down to such a jaw droppingly awful extent.

Your sister has a great family in you all. She's very lucky indeed.

Well that's a whole load of money you are all going to save by not going
Go out and have a nice meal somewhere together instead.

Sorry this has happened OP.

Spend the day doing something lovely with your sister instead. Treat yourselves rather than the "friend".

How awful. I suspect the bride is actually jealous of your sister tbh. And she should be because she's now lost you, whilst your sister has a family with scruples.

If its a “very basic wedding with a little buffet and stuff” is it possible they cant afford to have every under 18 they knoe attend the wedding? Its a shame for your sister of course but its their wedding and they have to draw the line somewhere.

Sorry to hear that, OP. But you've done the right thing.

I don't know about anyone else, but I kind of hope the bride does read this on the DM! How sad that she's prepared to lose such long time, close friends because of her own nasty, judgemental attitude.

What a shame.

I do wonder as well how mutual friends will react when they realise that your whole family are absent OP? How will they explain that one?

Well that's a lot of money saved for a family day out somewhere and lots and LOTS of FB photos of everyone being involved and loving family time - kids included!

Mrs Bridezilla judgeypants can have her wedding while YOU guys support your family.

Enjoy your day and good luck for your wee sister!

Well done for sticking up for your sis OP. She's lucky to have such a supportive family

Shame that was what was going on. I had a similar situation where a "friend" told me it was kids only. When we got there there were children. Toddlers, when mine were older and can sit through a service quietly and dinner etc. Which she knew.
Realising it is personal sucks. In my case I wish I'd ditched her sooner as she also upset me by being weird about our intention to buy a house (Her the owner of her second home a new pad in Cornwall blamed us for being materialistic).
Some people just need to be judgy twats I guess. Best off without

I actually did this when I got married. It wasn't about "no kids", it was more around the cost. I had an awful lot of second/third cousins who are 13-17 so I'd have had to paid adult prices for them when I don't actually see them very often. We chose not to invite them with the exception of the bridal party. This did mean that one sibling did get left out from one family however they were very understanding, some others chose not to attend our wedding but that was their right. I guess it depends on how close you/your sister are to the bride

Sorry to hear that OP.

Their wedding, their choice. Not something I would do, but there you go. People get odd planning weddings.

Luckily your choice to go or not go 😁