Neighbor talking through ajoining bedroom wall to my 4yr old.

[Chocolatelavender]

My 4 yr old dd came out of her bedroom to tell me 'it's 9 o'clock time for bed.' It was 9:15pm. I asked her how she knew it was 9 o'clock. She told me a voice through the wall told her it was 9 o'clock go to bed. Sometimes, dd can't get to sleep and chats to her dolls while lying in bed. Sometimes she gets up multiple times and comes into the lounge room and I have to take her back to bed. Many times she comes into my bedroom and co-sleeps. Lots of children go through stages like this so I'm not worried about that. I am worried that someone I don't really know thinks it's ok to talk to my daughter through her bedroom wall. Aibu to be concerned about this?

Just want to add that it is a young couple with no children who live next door. We've said hi to each other but that's it. They moved in about 2months ago and I don't really know them or seen them much.

How can she hear it?

Are you sure this happened? Are you sure it wasn't just your DD's imagination/half asleep dreaming. 9 o'clock could have been a coincidence? Did she overhear next door neighbour shouting to their own child? If it did, it's weird and you should ask the neighbour to stop!

They're not exactly talking to her are they. Just frustrated that there is a loud child next door and they have said out loud "it's 9pm go to sleep".

Yes I am planning on doing that but not sure if I should go over now or wait till tomorrow. It has freaked me out a bit.

Is there any chance they just said ‘it’s nine o’clock, go to bed’ out loud as they can hear your daughters constant chatter?

I'd be shouting "Go to bed" as well if I could hear a child making a racket through my bedroom wall. 😂 Perhaps the neighbour thinks it's a funny thing to do?

My word, your walls must be thin. 😲

Would it be their bedroom on other side of wall? Maybe they work odd shifts and were trying to sleep.

Your thread title sounds really disturbing and it would be something to address if a neighbour was chatting to your DD through the party wall!

But as PP say, this is almost certainly a case of someone jokily saying "go to bed!" because they can hear her chattering away. I'll let it go (unless they keep doing it).

Go round and tell them about your daughter is having difficultly getting to sleep, and they shouldn't talk to her as it makes getting her to sleep take longer.

BTW Sorry it made me laugh. They clearly don't realise if you talk to children your daughter's age, they are setting themselves up for having long conversations with her in future. I did it as a child with my neighbours and have had to do it, though over garden fences and in the street rather than through walls

Next time they do it play the Exorcist music back to them through the wall, then next time you see them tell them your four year old has been away with her grandparents for the last two weeks...

I would be freaked out by that - it's an odd thing to do - especially with someone you hardly know!

You say they don't have kids and 9pm isn't that late. If your daughter was screaming and shouting I could understand them saying it out loud in frustration but not if she is chatting to her dolls !

YANBU. This is totally inappropriate behaviour. They are communicating with your child without your permission. All you know about them is that they communicate with minors through bedroom walls which is weird and not acceptable. Ask them if they have any problems with noise or whatever, to contact you directly and not be speaking behind your back to your child.

How much noise is your dd making?

user1471517900 If my dd was loud I would understand them knocking on my door and chatting to me about it. But I'm in the next room and I couldn't hear her. She talks softly to her baby dolls like she's their mummy. As a side note, I could hear them having loud sex in the middle of the night last night and I didn't feel it necessary to talk to them through the wall. Was a bit concerned about it waking my dd, but she slept through it so all ok.

I don’t think that they actually had a conversation with her. Rather they said out loud , it’s nine o’clock go to bed. Probably not even realising she would hear/ understand.

But 9pm is quite late for a 4yo to still be up, IMHO.
Not everyone wants to hear children all evening through the wall. If you can hear them, they can hear you.
Going round and complaining could make things a whole lot worse.

You child is probably being visited by invisible 'beings'. Things like these happen to kids.
How is it possible that you child can hear through a wall unless she has the hearing capacity of a dog?

I might shout down to DP, "come on its 9pm,. time we were in bed", as we both start work ridiculously early in a morning. So its possible that the neighbour was simply talking or shouting down to her partner.

It won't have occurred to them that they're communicating with a minor without her parents' consent. They'll just be thinking "Noisy kid next door, go to bed."

There’s no evidence from what you’ve said that they make a habit of chatting to her or have conversations though, is there?

Chances are they just said ‘it’s 9pm, go to bed’ if she was being loud.

@HectorlovesKiki

This is totally inappropriate behaviour. They are communicating with your child without your permission. All you know about them is that they communicate with minors through bedroom walls which is weird and not acceptable.

Honestly, this is a bit OTT. For all you know one of the neighbours might have been calling down to the other, and it had nothing to do with your DD at all. Even if it did, I'd find it funny.

Thanks PumpkinPie2016 and HectorlovesKiki that's exactly how I feel.

Your title suggested there's something sinister going on.
But actually, this is just someone shouting to someone else (whether that someone else is your dd or their own partner) that it's bed time.
Drama where there is none.