Neighbor talking through ajoining bedroom wall to my 4yr old.

[Chocolatelavender]

My 4 yr old dd came out of her bedroom to tell me 'it's 9 o'clock time for bed.' It was 9:15pm. I asked her how she knew it was 9 o'clock. She told me a voice through the wall told her it was 9 o'clock go to bed. Sometimes, dd can't get to sleep and chats to her dolls while lying in bed. Sometimes she gets up multiple times and comes into the lounge room and I have to take her back to bed. Many times she comes into my bedroom and co-sleeps. Lots of children go through stages like this so I'm not worried about that. I am worried that someone I don't really know thinks it's ok to talk to my daughter through her bedroom wall. Aibu to be concerned about this?

Olivia they do not have the right to infringe on the child's privacy or the OP's sense of personal safety and privacy.

If they can say "go to sleep" then they can say anything and it is HIGHLY inappropriate.

It is not the neighbours fault that the walls are that thin.

1. There is no proof that the neighbours said anything directly to the child. PP have given good examples of how she might have heard those words. OP is just insistent it must have been that turn of events.

2. If the walls are that thin, then any person living there might hear things that are private and vice versa or things that make them scared.

3. The neighbour could have been ill or working shifts and needed to sleep. Telling a child to go to bed is hardly grooming.

Flateartherspere, the issue is that OP is assuming that the only possible explanation is that the neighbours are talking to her child and blanking every other possibility - as are you. Can you really not take on board the possibility that they were talking to each other?

I wouldn't worry to be honest unless she repeats something of concern, my DS5 has arguments with my neighbours 35 year old son about his poor taste in music and other things. You have to bear in mind him neighbour may just be prompting the child that it's getting late and can they keep the noise down.
We don't actually speak to our neighbour (boundary issues) but don't let it affect humour DS and his trust of them and to be honest if he was been a bit noisy and it was bothering next door I'd expect DS to take notice if next door asked him to go to bed or keep noise down etc. We did have an issue for a bit when they both had the same TV and learnt to control each others TV's but that changed when DS had his replaced

I think you have every right to be concerned, a stranger talking to your dd, through her bedroom wall, you don't know these people and in this day and age you can't be too careful! I am sure that if your dd was being loud you would quieten her, but I am sure that no 4 year old talking to her dollies would be loud enough to disturb anyone. If the noise is disturbing your neighbours then they must have very sensitive hearing, they would be in dire straights if they lived next door to me, with my autistic son and his meltdowns and nightly head banging against the wall. Thankfully we have a detached house, so no one complains x

When I read it, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Get the vicar in PDQ

Why are you even listening in to them having sex anyway? Bit voyeuristic.

So, based on the alarmist argument that someone (maybe) said "It's 9 o'clock, go to bed" and this being taken as clear-cut evidence of sinister stranger-danger grooming, I have a question too: my next door neighbour keeps saying "No, Freddie, that's dangerous" to her son (aged 4). Sometimes, she says it a dozen times in one day. Shall I report her to social services? Clearly she is putting her child in danger continuously in an unsafe home environment.

Get a grip.

The walls are so thin that you can hear your neighbours talking to each other, but your daughter couldn't possibly have heard the same because it was 9:15, they must have been talking to her.

The only evidence they were talking to your daughter was that the "time for bed" was almost the same as the time in the house.

If you can hear that clearly through the wall I would be looking at getting some sound proofing put on the walls! Tastefully done of course!
Frankly though would ask them not to talk to your child like other poster said as makes it harder to get her to sleep! I would try and hear them talk to her myself though to be sure before I said anything - If they really are being grumpy about your daughter quietly talking to her teddy’s I think I’d have to get a counter dig in about the loud sex or maybe make your own comment through the wall next time they are at it! A bit of a turn off!

How do you know the neighbours were not on the phone to their Niece or nephew, telling them it was time for bed

Not really nice to go around accusing others of some pretty sketchy behaviour when you have no proof whatsoever

How do you know they were addressing her? They might have been saying it to each other (early start/husband complaining he was tired?) or to a niece/nephew staying with them? Very unlikely they said it to her.
How would talking softly to her dolls disturb them anyway? Unless she was knocking things against the wall?

Talk about jumping to conclusions!

I don't think the op is listening in to anyone having sex, more she is being forced into listening to their performance.

I would definitely say "it's 2am, can you hurry up and finish, it's time for bed"

9pm is so late for a 4 year olds bedtime! Is she school age yet? They probably said it out loud in a frustrated way rather than talking to her. I have a 5 year old and would go mad if I found her awake at 9.15 talking to dolls. I dont think there's anything sinister with your neighbours they are probably just sick of listening to her nattering away

The amount of times iv shouted 'turn it down' or 'it's bed time now'. Through the walls.
However I know my neighbours well we have been neighbours for 5yrs now. Her kids 6 of them clearly are very challenging for her at bed time. You can hear her screaming at then normally from 7.30pm to 'go to bed and stay there' or ' I can't take anymore of this'. by 9pm she is so stressed by it all she shouts 'shit the f@#$ up'. By 10pm I shout bed time now and they quite down almost immediately. Thank god my kids are heavy sleepers

Sorry, I see nothing that even vaguely suggests the neighbours are talking to your daughter. It was coincidence coupled with prob being knackered because 9 is bloody late for a 4 yr old. She said it to her dolls and made up hearing it.

Or your house has become inhabited by a demon and this is just the start.........

This is a weird thread!!!!

Log it with 101!

@Aridane

Log it with 101!

They'll take it really seriously and send someone round immediately to interview the neighbours and issue a warning.

I was joking

(trying to be more ridiculous than the grooming posters)

I was joking

I know, I was going with the joke

"We do NOT expect or want our neighbours to suddenly speak to us through walls!"

No, but the neighbours don't want to hear our noise either so it's the same thing isn't it? A bit like hitting the ceiling with a broom.

I think OP's given up in disgust.

If you can hear them having sex, your little one will hear it as she gets older- why not invest in some sound proofing in the wall? They won't hear her and she won't hear them.problem solved.