To ask the bride if I’m invited to her wedding?

[Tohaveandtohold]

I know this would sound entitled as the only wedding I have to be obviously is mine but my work colleague is getting married. We are a team of 4 people and we are quite close at work, we chat, etc and I drop her off on Fridays as well when she’s going to her parents as it’s not just on my way ( she does not drive and stays with her fiancé the other days). We’ve literally talked about it this wedding since she got engaged last year. I even once followed her to the wedding venue. We go for lunch together, meal out, etc like I thought we were close.
Basically, 2 weeks ago, she gave the other 2 people in the team an invitation card to the wedding, I was there but she didn’t give me one. I still dropped her off last Friday as well and we have had lunch together almost every day this and last week and still no invitation card for me.
The other ladies have been checking for dresses online that they’ll wear but I can’t really.
Could I ask if I’m invited to the wedding or can I be invited and not have a card? I know you ladies will be honest and that’s why I’m asking as i’ll be dropping her off today and I’m sure we’ll talk about the wedding. Am I just been silly?

I would ask, painful as it is.

I think you should ask! I'd normally say no but in these specific circumstances you have to know where you stand! Don't be embarrassed either. Just come out with it.

If she gave out invites to the others in front of you, I'd take that as a deliberate snub. Either she doesn't like you or she is very socially inept. Either way, I'd ask whether I'd upset her in any way and is that the reason for not inviting you. And then act accordingly.

I guess it’s possible that she thought she had already invited you, like maybe she had the invite in her bag to give to you the last time you gave her a lift, but forgot, and then misremembered when she was giving the others their invites? It would be incredibly rude otherwise to just give the others theirs in front of you!

I think I would do one of the following:

a) Mention to the others that you don’t think you’re invited but you’re not sure why, and see what they say. If they’re really surprised then one of them will probably check with her.

b) The next time she’s chatting about the wedding in your car, say ‘just so I’m clear, I’m not invited right? I’m assuming not because you didn’t give me an invite but just checking because you’ve been talking to me about it a lot!’

I would ask as in this situation not inviting is soooo rude she needs to explain herself and you need to know not to give her more lifts and favours.

The grown up thing would be to ask. Something bright and breezy along the lines of 'ive been invited to a BBQ on , just wanted to check that you weren't wanting work colleagues at your wedding?'

Are the others just invited in the evening? Could be something simple like the invites for the whole day haven’t arrived yet but evening ones have..?!

How horrible. There was another similar thread a couple of months ago. I just cannot imagine how a bride could have the cheek to do it by handing out invitations in front of you and you giving her lifts, spending so much time with her. The general consensus on threads about invites in general always seems to be to say nothing.

If you do have the nerve, perhaps calmly say you hope the weather shines so she has a lovely day with her family, friends and those colleagues she has invited from work.

Oh and ask her before you give her a lift home.

It does seem so odd that you do all these things together, your other colleagues have received an invitation but you don't know whether you're invited! She has also never asked if you are coming (presume she'd expect an RSVP if she intended to invite you!)

It may feel awkward, but you need to ask her privately one day soon - 'This is a bit awkward friend, but I'm not sure if I'm invited to your wedding or not. Please can you clarify!'

I'd ask, because all favours and lunches and girly chats would end immediately if I wasn't invited.

I'm guessing you are invited, but best to check. You can make a joke of it "So I'm the only one of the team not invited to your wedding then ha ha ha...". That gives her the opportunity to either say yes or no. If it's no she finds her own way to her parents' house from now on.

I was thinking about another thread that was similar, Mummyoflittledragon. I don't think she was invited in the end, was she?

Bring up the converstion with your colleagues, when the bride to be is there, about what they are wearing to the wedding, shoes, accessories etc. Then when they ask what you're wearing, casualty say "oh, I'm not invited". If she still doesn't mention it then, yup, you're not invited. and then so the lifts.

No Hollowtalk she wasn’t if it’s the same thread. I can’t remember what it was called.

I wouldn’t give her a lift this afternoon. Make an excuse.

She’s using you.

Look, if she actually handed invitations to other work colleagues right in front of you then you are not invited.

She is 'involving' you in chat etc and being your friend because of the lifts, which she likes.

Make an excuse next Friday!

Awful situation and she’s a CF if you’re not invited. I’d ask colleagues to ask her

Make an excuse today!

Maybe she wants you to be a bridesmaid

That's very odd.have the other two colleagues mentioned anything?

@HollowTalk are you thinking about a thread that was about a party, where the OP was forever covering up mistakes at work for a colleague? Then everyone else was invited to a big do and she wasn't, the covering up of mistakes ended.

How horrible. I cant believe anyone would be so rude. Stop the lifts immediately.

I would find out today whether I was invited. If I wasn't, there wouldn't be a lift and there wouldn't be an excuse, either.

I would definitely ask her so you know where you are if she says no you can cut her loose legitimately

I think so, @Juells - so many threads blur after a while, though!