To ask the bride if I’m invited to her wedding?

[Tohaveandtohold]

I know this would sound entitled as the only wedding I have to be obviously is mine but my work colleague is getting married. We are a team of 4 people and we are quite close at work, we chat, etc and I drop her off on Fridays as well when she’s going to her parents as it’s not just on my way ( she does not drive and stays with her fiancé the other days). We’ve literally talked about it this wedding since she got engaged last year. I even once followed her to the wedding venue. We go for lunch together, meal out, etc like I thought we were close.
Basically, 2 weeks ago, she gave the other 2 people in the team an invitation card to the wedding, I was there but she didn’t give me one. I still dropped her off last Friday as well and we have had lunch together almost every day this and last week and still no invitation card for me.
The other ladies have been checking for dresses online that they’ll wear but I can’t really.
Could I ask if I’m invited to the wedding or can I be invited and not have a card? I know you ladies will be honest and that’s why I’m asking as i’ll be dropping her off today and I’m sure we’ll talk about the wedding. Am I just been silly?

Shamelessly place marking to find the answer out! Hope you get your answers today x

OP - hope you and the bride are sharing a glass of something lovely while laughing about this being a big mix up... terrible behaviour from her if you really are not invited...

Waiting for an update too

Come on.....

@chukkanukka

Shamelessly place marking to find the answer out!

What does place marking do? I've never found a way on MN to go to my last post in a thread, I hate the way you get only the last three or four posts in the "I'm on" section :(

I hope OP has been invited because if not it will be terrible at work.

OP you must ask her whilst giving her a lift, just to let her know what a CF she is. If she tells you that you are not invited, drive home instead of dropping her home and let her sit on your drive all night.

Juells click on the three dots at the bottom right of the last comment in the thread and select bookmark. A little bookmark symbol will come up. Next time you open the thread it will take you to that comment

I haven’t got three little dots at the bottom right of the last comment in the thread.

Ah, I can bookmark without the three little dots by clicking the bottom right hand corner - the bit without the dots.

So, I’m actually invited to the wedding.
We finished at work and just on the way to the car park, she started talking about what she’ll be doing this weekend, wedding related things obviously and I said I would just be looking to book to a weekend break for sometime in sept/Oct. She then answered and said just not book anything for the xxx of sept.
I asked her why and she said ‘because it’s my wedding of course ’.
I then replied that ‘oh but I’m not invited to that am I’ and she said why won’t you be?. Then I told her because every one already had their invites ages ago.
She said she didn’t know that I needed an invite and they only made 100 cards and realised she had to give it out to more people than she initially thought so felt she won’t need to give it to those that are ‘obviously’ coming and know about it all.
Well, I’m relieved, not because I’m going to a wedding but just because I was almost losing it. Like I just don’t know how to judge people anymore.

That is one lovely update. Pleased for you OP.

Have you spoken to her? At my hen do, one of my friends took me aside in the toilet and said another friend hasn't received her invite. It had been lost in the post. I was mortified that she just assumed she hadn't been invited and I got a replacement invite to her ASAP.

I'm so glad for you, Tohaveandtohold - I was hoping she wasn't a nasty person! That's great, enjoy!

Hooray OP a happy ending.

But weird not giving you a proper invite all the same.

A good update OP, but she surely should have mentioned it to you - does she think you’re a mind-reader?

I’ve not read all the replies, like I can’t believe the number of comments. I’ll try and read them now and answer any questions if any

So pleased that your going

All's well that ends well. It is good that you asked, or you would have never had known. She should have told you, before sending the office invitations out. It does happen, I have read many on here, being the only one excluded from a wedding within work, especially when the person not invited, does so much for the the bride.

Yaaaayyyyy

That's a happy ending. So she regards you as one of the people who should know they'd be invited because you're such a good friend.

Nice to know she's not a cf.

How odd to not hand an invitation to the ones who “should know” they’re invited 🤔
You clearly didn’t, I wonder who else she was too tight to buy an invitation for and just assumes they’ll know to show up?
Sounds like pure baloney to me...

I smell a rat. Sounds more like one of the others has had a word, or she's realised she's been a CF and has no invites left. Hence the most false, lame sounding excuse I've ever heard! Just IMHO, OP.

I'm really glad that it's turned out well Op.

Rather odd not to have enough invitations for everyone who is invited - don't the invitations have all the details also makes clear if you're invited to the full day or just the evening etc. Also about time, location etc and possibly gift list, running order etc. Without an invitation it's hard to know all that stuff.....but perhaps some people are more casual about invitations. I know more people just send an email these days.

Anyway, I'm glad it's not turned out to be the scenario so many on here predicted - that you weren't invited and your friend only wanted lifts.

Just goes to show, that if you don't have the conversation in some form or another, you never know and misunderstandings can never be dealt with.

Lots of people on here would have had OP either rant at the bride or just cold shoulder her and stop offering lifts. They had already judged her as a total bitch. As always, a simple bit of communication often clears things up, so I remain amazed how many people would rather gouge out their eyes than actually raise a tricky topic.

OP, I hope you continue to enjoy the wedding chat and plans and have a great day at the wedding.

That’s exactly what I said, how would I have known if she didn’t tell me. I’m just so relieved as it would have been awkward as we’ll still have to be working together after it all.