To ask the bride if I’m invited to her wedding?

[Tohaveandtohold]

I know this would sound entitled as the only wedding I have to be obviously is mine but my work colleague is getting married. We are a team of 4 people and we are quite close at work, we chat, etc and I drop her off on Fridays as well when she’s going to her parents as it’s not just on my way ( she does not drive and stays with her fiancé the other days). We’ve literally talked about it this wedding since she got engaged last year. I even once followed her to the wedding venue. We go for lunch together, meal out, etc like I thought we were close.
Basically, 2 weeks ago, she gave the other 2 people in the team an invitation card to the wedding, I was there but she didn’t give me one. I still dropped her off last Friday as well and we have had lunch together almost every day this and last week and still no invitation card for me.
The other ladies have been checking for dresses online that they’ll wear but I can’t really.
Could I ask if I’m invited to the wedding or can I be invited and not have a card? I know you ladies will be honest and that’s why I’m asking as i’ll be dropping her off today and I’m sure we’ll talk about the wedding. Am I just been silly?

Where’s the OP??!!

She'll be dropping the cf off.

She might have posted OP's invitation and it's got lost in the post.

She might have assumed that OP knows she's invited, due to all the chats and the lift to the venue, etc, so doesn't need a card invitation.

I just can't imagine someone being so callous to give the others their invitations right in front of OP, but if that is the situation, she's a nasty bitch and that should be the end of the lifts, lunches and friendly chats.

I don’t see how it can be a misunderstanding. She handed invitations to the other two in front of OP. Even if she’d forgotten the invite at home she would have mentioned something to OP about it, or would have said in front of the others etc, but she hasn’t.

It’s very clear that the OP isn’t invited, which is of course the woman’s prerogative, and tbh even if she said it was a misunderstanding the OP will always know that any invite from here on in would be a guilt invite not meant.

If she had meant to invite the OP, then she would have.

I had the opposite of this, was going to only ask the closest person to me on my team but another girl just assumed she was coming too so I felt I had to give her an invite! Oh well, more the merrier.

I would find a way to ask her without saying it outright.

OP I hope you've got the your answer finally and I really hope it was just a silly misunderstanding and you are invited, if not I think that the PP are right and the lifts need to stop as that is just ultimate CF'ery to the highest degree.

Dying to hear an update...

I would be dying to know but would probably ask in a passive way.

It can't be an oversight if she handed the invitations to your colleagues in front of you unless she's sent yours in the post.

Really hope she isn't as rude as what the circumstances suggest.

Is the bride good friends with other colleagues outside of work? That would be the only reason I can think of to invite them and not OP.

I know some people are clearly a lot more hard faced than me, but there’s just no way I could have 2 invitations out to two people in front of your face and not give you one, and then ask for a lift the Friday after... I just couldn’t do it. It would be all or none for me.

?

I was so hoping there would be an update by now! Hope you’re ok op

Did you ask her, OP?

Hoping you managed to have a conversation...

Have you confronted the cf???

Wow. I really hope it's a mistake or she's a real nasty cow.
Usually I get very defensive when people say they 'should' be invited to someone's wedding (it's their day, they've paid a lot of money, stop making it about you) but honestly that's so horrible talking about it to you and inviting the other colleagues. Nasty.

I've got bad nerves waiting to hear from OP.
I do hope OP is OK regardless of how CF responds.

Me too.. I need an update!

.

I had an old colleague/friend say to me when I got engaged that he hoped to have an invite to the wedding. As he was also engaged, I replied "likewise"! His wedding came and went, I wasn't invited, so obviously I didn't invite him to mine!

Must be a mistake?!

May be the bride is going to ask her to be bridesmaid later?

Hope you're ok OP x

I know it's easy to say in hindsight, but really the best time to have addressed this was immediately after she'd handed the rest of the team their invites.

Ideal and completely reasonable time then to all say hey where's mine!? Then laugh out loud whilst recalling all the lifts and ear bashing about her wedding plans as she mutters her answer

You definitely need to ask as the way she's executed the delivery of the others invites really leaves it begging the question.