Why some women think it's not there job!!

[Damnivy]

Ok so this doesn't apply to those women who can't/shouldn't be doing these things. And I'm not saying this is about all women. (I also know a man like this).

I'm so bored of listening and watching women who can't do things for them selves.
Like.. washing windows (outside), Mowing the lawn, getting in the loft, putting flat packs together, putting diesel in their car. All things iv heard that are apparently a 'man's job'.
Other things like, my SIL never being able to sort her baby out on her own, while out, always dragging DB of to the baby change, if she needs changing, although if it's my DBs turn to change the baby he goes and does it alone.
My sister apparently can't do the food shopping alone as she can't push the trolley and shop at the same time. She also refuses to do any decorating as it's a 'man's job' and even though she has never tried doing it, just knows she wouldn't be able too.
Makes me wonder how some women would ever cope alone.
I'm not saying my DH doesn't do these things, but I would never ask him to cut the grass, fill my car ext.. unless I had a good reason. We split things like most couples, if he is working more hours one week, I do most of the house/childcare stuff, if I'm working more hours then he does it.
I know I sound judgy, and I probably am, I would never say anything about this to them as I don't like to interfere, just really annoyed after watching my sister acting like she cant do anything today!
I wasn't brought up independent, I come from a family who mostly all have these views, many women in my family have never worked, as they belive they should be home with the children. Iv learnt to be independent.
Why are some women like this, and what things have you heard women say they can't do, as they cant/wouldn't be any good at/or class it as 'men's job's'.

We have a lot of elderly people visiting where I work, and one day we had a letter from a woman who wanted to obtain copies of some historical documents. She wrote in her letter that she did not possess an e-mail address as she was nearly 60. I thought of the researchers I'd met that day who were at least 20 years older than her and who'd just had stuff scanned to them, and thought of my DBs who are only a couple of years younger than her and working full time in very techy jobs, and I thought she's either lying about her age or she has some learning issues.

I was, of course, very polite and considerate to her on the phone.

"I'm so bored of listening and watching women who..."
If only there was an obvious solution.
Don't worry, OP. All those stupid, lazy, helpless women will be punished for their stupid lazy helplessness, then you can feel even more superior. In the meantime you might like to head over to the SAHW thread, about another despicable type of female.

I'm not fond of either sex being pathetic- whether it's men who "can't" (won't) cook or look after their own kids to women who can't (have never even tried to) do DIY etc

I do most of our DIY & decorating but I'm a disabled 4'11 rather petite person so I do have limits (I'm not always aware of them) so often work together.
We also are big on teaching our boys to be self sufficient from learning to do the washing & cooking to helping in the garden.

I work in construction though and DH works in healthcare so we don't tend to go for gender stereotypes in this house.

Yy agreed it’s both sexes - men who can’t do their daughters hair or dress them properly, men who can’t do the family shop etc

When DM was widdowed suddenly and fairly prematurely she was suddenly faced with lots of aspects of life that she had no idea how to deal with. Unexpected grief isn't the easiest time to suss out taking meter readings and paying bills (pre-internet, not that she goes anywhere near the internet...) Even if they're not particularly tricky things, it's just another new thing to deal with at a difficult time. She regularly has to sort out and pay for handy men or wait for visitors to sort out fairly simple jobs.

I decided I wanted a broader set of life skills. There are some heavier aspects of DIY that fall to DH, but he is physically stronger to complete them effectively, and many of those are ones that most people outsource anyway.

Minor car maintenence like tyre pressure, oil etc, I can do myself. I did call out the AA for a flat tyre on the side of a dual carriageway. I have a hypothetical idea of what the job involves and could be more tempted to wrestle with it somewhere safe, but it's a heavier job than I'm comfortable with and needs to be done safely.

There are a few things I don’t tend to do around the house eg lifting very heavy things, certain diy stuff but if I lived alone then as an intelligent, capable woman I’m sure I could do them or learn to. I’m just not currently in the position of having to so I can’t get het up about it really. I certainly don’t feel pathetic for not emptying my own bins. Just grateful I don’t have to deal with bin juice every week.

I do think some men and women do have a tendency to want a dependent partner.

You see it on threads on here where the OP moans that her DH doesn't do enough then in the next breath says that he can't be trusted in the kitchen or with the washing machine. Or that their DC always cry for her and not him. Or won't relinquish certain tasks because they won't be done properly but then moan they have to do everything. I know several women who have never let their Dhs touch their daughters hair as they'll mess it up. But then moan that if they're not there Daisy won't let Dad plait her hair or whatever.

Ditto men who refuse to let women do any tasks because it's men work or they won't manage.

It's demeaning on both sides.

I don’t know anyone like this either

I strongly suspect people that ‘don’t know anyone like this’ ARE the people like this but are just so engrained in their gender roles in their relationships they think it’s normal.
Who looks after the child when they are ill?
Who takes the bins out?
Who usually drives?
Who does the bulk of the food shopping?
Who fixes things in the house when they are broken?
Who shops for the children’s clothes?
Who does the children’s hair?

Who looks after the child when they are ill? Me
Who takes the bins out? DH
Who usually drives? Me
Who does the bulk of the food shopping? Me
Who fixes things in the house when they are broken? Me or I get someone in
Who shops for the children’s clothes? Me
Who does the children’s hair? Mine are old enough to do their own.

Since when was doing the DC's hair a chore like washing? DH does all the washing btw. The cleaning lady does all the ironing and hoovering.

I strongly suspect people that ‘don’t know anyone like this’ ARE the people like this but are just so engrained in their gender roles in their relationships they think it’s normal

You are incorrect.

My DH would never do a flat pack. He's terrible at any kind of DIY. I do all DIY jobs around the house. Not all women are like that!

DH loves doing the garden, hates me using his tools for DIY, and he does the car. I'm perfectly capable of doing those things, but he thinks he does a better job. I'm not one to argue.

Does It really matter? So what if that is what she thinks and if it works for them great

Imagine resurrecting a two year old thread just to flog a jobs website which actually has nothing to do with the original post? What is the point...?

I live alone so don’t have a choice but to do most jobs myself but I do ask my brother for help with heavier jobs such as dump runs and car issues, flat packs etc because he is quicker at these things and finds them enjoyable whereas I don’t. In return I help him out with official, paperwork type stuff that I find easier than him.

I have never come across this. In our house, I mow the lawn, I take most bins out, I'm the only one who accesses our loft as I'm the one who knows where everything is, any flat-pack furniture that has ever entered our house has been assembled by me and I'm the one who knows my way around an electrical drill including wood and masonry bits (one of my Christmas gifts from DH last year). Being pregnant has never stopped me doing any of these things...I was taking boxes up in the loft, and (carefully) moving heavy furniture at 7 months pregnant because it needed to be done and DH wasn't around.

DH is good at earning money (but then, so am I, when I'm not caring for DS ) but other than that, he's fairly useless and ornamental. He comes from a family where they would hire a handyman to repaint a room or hang picture frames and where they didn't really realise flat pack furniture was a thing.

I don't do cars, though. DH sorts out the car stuff.

So personally I think you're stereotyping massively.

The only thing DH does that I can't is get into the loft, we have very high ceilings, no proper loft ladder, the hatch is right near the stairs and I have no head for heights, I used to be able to when we lived in a flat and I could get into the storage space with an ordinary stepladder. Neither of us clean the outside of the windows as we'd need specialist ladders to do it because of the height, just easier to pay a window cleaner. Other than that I don't know any women as you describe, even SIL who is all about fancy nails, microblading, eyelashes etc rolled up her sleeves when they bought their first house, was stripping walls, painting etc, she takes the bins out, mows the lawn etc.

I do know some women who have dickhead misogynist partners who say babies, cleaning etc is women's work, so the women refuse to do the DIY, bins, garden etc , not because they can't but because why should they do everything if he's not willing to. I've never in my life known a woman not able to change her own baby or do a food shop.

Oh and as for not being able to push the trolley and shop at the same time , I can push the trolley zero-handed while simultaneously picking an item off the shelf with one hand and dragging along tantruming toddler screaming at the top of his lungs with the other hand. All while smiling apologetically at the other shoppers.

I suspect many women (and even the odd man, if we're being sexist) can do that. It's called being a parent.

DH does very little compared to me, I do all the domestic chores inside and out of the house, there are no 'man' jobs, they are all Frumpety jobs, except one, if anything goes wrong with the internet/computers DH fixes it. I am not entirely sure how we have ended up at this point, given he had lived independently for years before we got togther.

Tbh if something needs to be done and I can't be bothered I just lable it a man's job and get dp to do it. These tasks change on a regular basis 😂 it's a bit of a joke and nothing more in our house.

The women in your op sound a bit wet

In our house we used to have things i preferred to do and things DH preferred to do, he loved doing the gardening cutting grass etc, did any work on the cars (I put fuel in though!) and also got the stuff out the loft and I mainly did washing up, laundry, sorting money side of things out, DIY etc. Then we shared the rest of the stuff. Now due do unforseen circumstances I've had to learn how to all his 'jobs' on top of my own. I don't mind doing them, I just find cutting the grass and washing the cars really boring.

I’ve seen the bin thing mentioned many times and never understood why it’s seen as a man job. Not exactly hard to take rubbish out and leave the bin for emptying.

We share the bulk of jobs, whoever is home just gets on with them.

Likewise with parenting, it’s equal and neither moan about it or insist on help from others as it’s too hard. I wonder how some cope daily when they claim they can’t do things themselves.

I was putting my bins out, some I knew walking past, "That's a blue job, I never do the bins." My other half works away, so was I supposed to leave the bins for a month There are no gender job roles in this house. Women like you describe are not my people, nothing worse than a Princess or a Prince.