Why some women think it's not there job!!

[Damnivy]

Ok so this doesn't apply to those women who can't/shouldn't be doing these things. And I'm not saying this is about all women. (I also know a man like this).

I'm so bored of listening and watching women who can't do things for them selves.
Like.. washing windows (outside), Mowing the lawn, getting in the loft, putting flat packs together, putting diesel in their car. All things iv heard that are apparently a 'man's job'.
Other things like, my SIL never being able to sort her baby out on her own, while out, always dragging DB of to the baby change, if she needs changing, although if it's my DBs turn to change the baby he goes and does it alone.
My sister apparently can't do the food shopping alone as she can't push the trolley and shop at the same time. She also refuses to do any decorating as it's a 'man's job' and even though she has never tried doing it, just knows she wouldn't be able too.
Makes me wonder how some women would ever cope alone.
I'm not saying my DH doesn't do these things, but I would never ask him to cut the grass, fill my car ext.. unless I had a good reason. We split things like most couples, if he is working more hours one week, I do most of the house/childcare stuff, if I'm working more hours then he does it.
I know I sound judgy, and I probably am, I would never say anything about this to them as I don't like to interfere, just really annoyed after watching my sister acting like she cant do anything today!
I wasn't brought up independent, I come from a family who mostly all have these views, many women in my family have never worked, as they belive they should be home with the children. Iv learnt to be independent.
Why are some women like this, and what things have you heard women say they can't do, as they cant/wouldn't be any good at/or class it as 'men's job's'.

I am guilty of a few of these such as mowing the lawn, going in the loft and putting the bins out.... I could probably do them though, I just prefer not to!

Their.

There 5 pages in I have said it.

And breathe.

We just have jobs in this house, no split exactly but then there are 3 adult females and only 1 male.

I can't garden or mow as then it would cost a fortune in physio and lost earnings, but I used to before my back problems started.

I don't decorate either but that is because I am a liability and now we can afford to get someone in we do, unless DH fancies doing it.

Everyone loves a flat pack furniture challenge as much as they hate ironing so that operates on a do your own basis or look crumpled.

If we couldn't put fuel in the car we might end up stranded.

Self reliance comes from many places, I grew up with a practical SAHM who had a large garden, and house to decorate. Work in a male environment and have a DH who travels for periods of time.

off that list I only wont do the lawn not because I cant (I do my mums) I dont want to I really hate it everything else I do

I can do all but one of those things. I don't go in the loft because I'm very allergic to the insulation up there. I can also change a tyre by myself, wire a plug and lay a carpet, three things which my mil was astonished that I could do as she was brought up being told they were 'mens' jobs.

That said we tend to split jobs based on preference/ability/available time so dh cuts the grass most of the time, does the DIY and puts all the flat packs up because it's his job so he's much faster at it than me, plus he likes it.

I do all the decorating and cooking because I like doing it and dh isn't great at it. I avoid DIY because I'm crap at it, I can do it in theory but in practice just don't have the skill or patience to learn.

There's nothing wrong with not being able to do a certain thing but I hate women who won't even try to do something because "it's a man's job". Equally I hate men who won't try to cook/clean/sew/look after their own dc because "they're women's jobs".

You're hanging out with the wrong crowd OP! They sound as though they belong in an episode of the handmaid's tale. Honestly where did you dig them up from? The 18th century?

I dig, mow, plant and water. I run my own car which DH is not allowed to touch since he buggered the engine by filling it with petrol when it's a diesel. I love a bit of decorating although I don't have much time. Don't have flatpack furniture but I do the computer stuff.

Being incapable of changing a baby sounds as though your SIL has major problems functioning on a basic level.

I also sort out money and investments. DH doesn't know a profit from a loss, which is a very worrying thing.

My mother worked, both grandmothers worked. Not being able to sort yourself out on this most basic level is a real handicap in life. What happens to feeble/learnedly helpless people if their OH's get run over a bus? Do they sit and wail until another man comes along to mow the lawns? Hell's teeth!!

Yes these people do exist. However, people also exist who 'act daft so they get a free hurl' because they are expected to do all the so-called 'pink jobs' behind the scenes. I can't say I blame them tbh in that scenario.

It’s a bit depressing all these women on this thread claiming they just prefer traditional gender roles and just happen t9 conveniently prefer not doing diy, etc. It reminds me of the name change threads where so many women apparently seem to afflicted with names that are terribly difficult to pronounce and that they hate (but somehow not enough to change them to anything other than their husbands name after marriage). I can drive, I can do diy, I can take the bin out. Someone who waits around for someone else to fill up their car cos it’s a “mans job” is nuts.

@thesearepearls

@MrsDylanBlue My grammar was not my AIBU. (After reading each post i habe made between 5-7 times in hope I didn't make mistakes). Some of us have dyslexia. Think first next time your feeling clever.

And breath.

DH does the hoovering and dusting because it makes me sneeze. I rearrange all the furniture and ornaments afterwards as he doesn't have an aesthetic bone in his body.

He also cuts the grass (likes it), unblocks the drains (longer arms), puts the recycling out (bins next to his car out the back) and cleans the litter tray (he started doing that when I was preggo and has done it ever since). He changes light bulbs because he's taller than me and can reach up to do it without needing to stand on a chair. I do stuff like cleaning the fridge, chucking old newspapers out, sorting out litchen cupboards, tidying drawers and wardrobes and taking stuff to charity shop/dump.

We both do decorating - he does the big boring stuff, I do the awkward stuff like fitting wallpaper around window frames and light sockets, and painting fiddly woodwork.

I do the laundry, he does the ironing, I put it away. We both shop and cook, depending on who is around when it needs doing.

He washes and cleans out the cars because I can't be bothered, and puts flatpack stuff together because he's better at it than me. It is usually me who reads the instructions though, if he can't figure it out.

I do the household finances and tax returns for us both, he pays most of the bills, I pay for holidays, clothes, new furniture etc.

Everything gets done, and there doesn't seem to be a pink/blue divide.

Oh, and he brings me a cup of tea in bed every morning

Dyslexia is a neurological disorder that is primarily concerned with the conflation of similar-looking letters and words.

Dyslexia has nothing to do with poor grammar or modern text shorthand, so someone claiming it as a reason would be as foolish as someone suggesting the have OCD when they are just a little anal about things.

@MrsDylanBlue
Thamks for the info
So there and their arnt similar at all? That is why you pulled me up isn't it? So can i use my dyslexia as my excuse for this without being foolish as you say? No? Little conflicting!
You would love me without autocorrect .
Anyway, as you were, bored now!

Thanks for the hijack too.

My DM (72) had never put fuel in the car till about 10 years ago. To be fair, when we were younger we only had one car and DF took that to work so although she has driven since she was 21, in her words “it never came up”! My DF prefers to drive himself, he did the London Marathon in 1991 and collapsed at the end and was taken to hospital. Still insisted on doing all the driving home (the same evening - 200 miles.

I do the bins, cooking, shopping. Never been able/had to DIY (in rented for years), not a clue about car maintenance. I’m very similar to my DF in that I’m very cack-handed and not a naturally neat person (can’t knock a nail in straight)so I don’t attempt DIY and leave that to DH as he is much better. DH enjoys mowing the lawn as he’s unwell at the moment and it’s an achievement for him if he’s well enough to do it. He also does most of the housework as he quite enjoys it and I detest it!

I don't really know anyone like this, apart from my mil. I think there's a YouTube video for everything nowadays. That said I'm not sure I'd try to change my own tyre as even dh couldn't undo the nut himself and I'm always driving the kids

I can do all of the things on the list

I just dont want to do them

Somethings I leave to dh, generally things that are easier for him to do as he is considerably taller and stronger than me. I could put things in the loft if I had to but it is much easier for him. Theoretically i know how to change a tyre but I just don't have the strength so he does it ( or the aa!). On the other hand I'm better with figures so I do the majority of the finances

I don’t do somethings as I’m short, weaknsnd clumsy as fuck so would probably end up in a&e if, for example, i climbed some ladders with soapy water to clean windows, I’d end up arse over tit.

DP does DIY because he enjoys it, and is good at it. I could not give a shit. I fucking love cleaning and organising, and DP doesn’t live up to my standards avoids it (he will do the dishes, put a wash in, hoover etc when needed).

I don’t driver either. Some pps maybe think that’s pathetic. But living in the NE with good public transport most my life I’ve never needed to drive. Now it’s too expensive, but I’d rather be pathetic than be in debt for something that isn’t necessary!

I know so many women like this, I just don’t get it! My dad bought me up to be independent (I don’t know if that was on purpose, he just told me to get on and work it out for myself). My mum left most things to my dad!

I don't go up to the loft,I get my DD to do it

Bloody hell, I took ownership of the trolley early in my relationship with DH so I didn't keep having to look for him with armfuls of stuff!

I've had to cry off proper diy, lately, though. I did everything in my 20s and 30s but hypermobility has got the better of me. Tried to fit the shelves into some pax wardrobes, a few weeks ago, and dislocated a thumb.

Just where are all these antedeluvian women living?

It's Tunbridge Wells isn't it? Must be.

Same location, same reason for not driving, Raven!

Yanbu, dh is scared of the loft, doesn't know one end of car from another due to having never driven and besides I lived alone for 13 years before he came along so kind of had to learn.

He is a great spider catcher though.

I can't work the hoover. Hoovering is a man's job. I can't clean the bathroom either, that is definitely a man's job so DH can get on with it while I earn a living, jump start the car and assemble the flat pack.

Division of labour is fine providing it is fair in terms of time and effort and both partners are capable of coping alone if necessary.

Parents need to ensure that their children can do all routine tasks before they leave home so they aren't reliant upon others. Amazes me how many people lack seriously basic skills as adults like sewing on buttons or changing a wheel (both of which both sexes should learn)

erm how does she cope when he goes to work-surely she can go and change them alone