"Forcing" children to include others

[DorothyL]

If your primary age child was told they had to commit to one day a week choosing to do an activity that makes it possible for a physically disabled child to join in, would you think this is fair enough or that your child shouldn't be forced to play with another child?

But without encouragement or management from teacher does no child ever play with disabled child? That sounds pretty sad..

This particular disabled child is struggling to find people to spend time with him.

In this situation, that's absolutely fair enough.

Mind, I clicked on this thread because I really hate the 'you must include everyone, even if they're really horrible and bossy and take over' stance that primary schools take.

It really depends on the circumstances.
One activity doesn’t seem too much.

I think that would be fine. Otherwise that child will never be included. I think it benefits both the able bodied and the disabled children.

Fair enough, I think. It’s not that they are being told that they can never play the games they want; they are being told to find a way to include a disabled child one day each week.

Primary is old enough to learn to be kind and inclusive, and to learn a degree of unselfishness.

If I am bringing my child up right, I would hope they would want to include the other child anyway and wouldn't need to be forced. I would hope that the child is included without a request to be honest.

In this particular situation then l think it is appropriate as long as it is a wide group of peers who also do it and not just falls on the same couple

The whole day? If you mean a break or lunchtime, I'd be totally fine with it as long as the child in question hadn't got a history of being mean to my child and the activity was something my child didn't actively dislike (so no lego for ds2). Can't imagine my child would mind overmuch either.

I’m worried about a disabled child being excluded by their peers to the point where this is needed.

One day a week choosing an activity to do together - no issue at all. Assume it’s not all day so of course my dc should be willing to participate for x amount of their time. Teaching empathy - a huge deficit of empathy exists atm in this country.

I don't think it's a bad thing asking some children in the class to pick an activity one day out of five that a disabled child can play. It's not like they are forcing them to be best friends, the schools trying to encourage kids to be inclusive

How much time are you talking about?

Is the child an ok companion? If they were actually really unpleasant to be with then the activity isn’t the question.

Disabled child is currently not included. Majority of boys playing football which he can only do to a limited degree.
Today a group of children played a different ball game - he asked to join in and was told "this game is not for you"

Yes, sad and wrong that it's necessary to regulate this, but what other option is there?

I don't like it when one child is singled out and asked to play with another child who is struggling socially.

But in this situation, it sounds like all the children (not just yours) are constantly doing an activity which the disabled child can't join in - is that right? (Is it football?) If so, then this rule seems like a good thing.

Yes, sad and wrong that it's necessary to regulate this, but what other option is there?

The option you’re not happy about your child doing?

Disabled child can be young for his age and yes at times difficult to engage with/on the spectrum.Does that mean he has to accept being left out?

And I’m always surprised by the lack of empathy towards people who are excluded from society on a daily basis. It’s as if people have no concept of how shit it feels and don’t see why they should have to be inclusive.

It does feel shit, really really shit.

Unicorns, not sure what you're asking me?

Someone needs to have a word with these children about kindness then. But is there trulely noone who will play with him? Ds2 is a football refuser (through choice in his case) and has a moan every now and then about having no-one to play with, but the reality is that not all boys play and he can find others to hang out with if he tries.

So has your child in particular been asked to do an an activity with the disabled child, or all children in his class? Is it within school time, break time or after school?

I don’t agree with forcing children to play together, especially as said before if it means playing with a child who is mean to them.

However I would hope that they would show kindness to their disabled peer without being forced. Obviously not the case here if the child has no one to play with. I hope the whole class are involved and not a case of pressuring one child to do this.

How very sad for the disabled child.

Yes I would 'force' (strongly encourage) my child to do it. It's once a week - including others and sometimes doing things you might not want to but will benefit someone less fortunate than you is a good thing to do and a good lesson for life.

poor lad to be excluded like that. so sad that children have to be told not to exclude him/
Main stream is supposed to be inclusive.