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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to DPs lift request

321 replies

PatrickMelroseFan · 07/06/2018 08:58

DP asked if I’d give him a lift in a couple of weeks time when he is planning on meeting his sister for lunch (she lives abroad).

It’s an hours drive (each way) & in a village location so basically I would be a chauffeur so he can get pissed. But ‘ I could do something for a couple of hours ‘ - like what ?

So I’ve politely declined his request & he’s pissed off

OP posts:
CristalTipps · 07/06/2018 18:07

Good result!

LemonysSnicket · 07/06/2018 18:17

Take a book. Go for a walk. God, does no one do favours for the people they love anymore??

Usernameunknown2 · 07/06/2018 18:26

Good outcome OP.

BottleOfJameson · 07/06/2018 18:43

DP has read through the thread & is horrified at his behaviour. An invite was then extended which I declined.
He is going to drive himself & stay overnight if he decides to have a drink.

Good result!

AnotherShirtRuined · 07/06/2018 18:58

Good result, OP. Glad you both turned out to be rational, reasonable people Grin

blackteasplease · 07/06/2018 19:04

Good outcome OP.

I'm glad he is horrified at his behaviour as it really was a bit shocking.

Glad it turns out he was just thoughtless and not breaktakingly selfish.

CristalTipps · 07/06/2018 19:48

God, does no one do favours for the people they love anymore??

The OPs DP is horrified at his behaviour Lemony....

And rightly too. Drive me out to the country to see my sister, and then bugger off and sit in the car till I tell you to come back because we'd have a better time without you is not asking a favour. It's an insult. And I'm glad he at least can see it.

BitOutOfPractice · 07/06/2018 19:51

Tell him you'll drive him somewhere else less remote.

worridmum · 07/06/2018 19:54

I just hope at some point in the future you don't require a lift because you want to drink etc because this is come back and bite you on the arse.

RunYouJuiceBitch · 07/06/2018 20:07

I would do this and not given it a second thought.

blackteasplease · 07/06/2018 20:09

worrid but he did ask for just a lift! A lift there would be fine. It's the hanging around for 3 hours that isn't.

blackteasplease · 07/06/2018 20:09

Anyway the DP is horrified by his behaviour

Bluntness100 · 07/06/2018 20:11

I just hope at some point in the future you don't require a lift because you want to drink etc because this is come back and bite you on the arse

Could you be a little more accurate

" I hope at some point in the future you don't require a lift to go drinking an hour away to a pub with a family member and not invite your partner to join, and want to make him wait outside for you, because this will come back and bite you on the arse if you do"

I think she will be alright. Dontyou ?

Bluntness100 · 07/06/2018 20:19

Lol at the horrified at his own behaviour.

So dear brother, how is Patrickmelrose, are you still together?
Oh yes, she's out there sitting in the car park. Bless her,
What? Why she sitting in thr carpark?
Waiting for us to finish so she can drive me home. She drove me here.
I don't understand Why is she sitting in the car and didn't come in?
Well I wanted just the two of us, so got her to drive me but didn't invite her, she's fine out there sitting in the car. It's not too hot today and she has water and snacks, Let's get another round in. Chin chin,

Horrified indeed.

SalemBlackCat · 07/06/2018 20:25

That is great that he realised how selfish he has been, OP. But I would keep my suggestion in mind for next time. Have a shindig at your house next time so you can all get to know each other better.

SalemBlackCat · 07/06/2018 20:28

Although I am truly concerned and stunned at the amount of people on here who actually thought this was ok. Truly gobsmacked.

gingergenius · 07/06/2018 20:29

Nope. That's a minimum of 4 hours of faffage. No problem if invited to lunch but if the op already does the museum/gallery/tea shop stuff when he's at work and doesn't want to do it at the weekend, then it's on him to get himself there and back!

shinycat · 07/06/2018 20:55

@patrickmelrosefan

DP has read through the thread & is horrified at his behaviour.

Ummmmm, OK then. Wink

BitOutOfPractice · 07/06/2018 20:57

Horrified you say? Ok

ilovegin112 · 07/06/2018 22:35

I must remember this thread when in the middle of December and it’s pissing down not to take my dn to a football match in the middle of nowhere and tell him I shouldn’t be taking him

liz70 · 07/06/2018 22:47

^^ Talk about not the same thing at all...

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/06/2018 03:40

OP: What about this apple?

PP: ORANGES! How can you stand the oranges?

Mycatiskillingme · 08/06/2018 03:57

I would never ask my husband to drive somewhere and then take my tome whilst they were waiting for me to finish a long lunch. I think it is extremely rude and I am a rather selfish person.

fawkesAgain2 · 08/06/2018 04:20

"horrified"

He sounds like a catch! Jesus,the man needs a backbone. No wonder he wants some time away.

NewPapaGuinea · 08/06/2018 05:23

I know it’s been resolved, but what does he normally do logistically when they meet up?

Anyway, I would 100% do this for my DW and go and entertain myself for a few hours somewhere nearby. If you cannot even extend a favour as a one off for a few hours for a DP then 🤷‍♂️