To not have a bedroom

[MyBedroom]

So DH is moving out, it's just me and the three DCs. Two boys, one girl. They're are 6,5,2.

We live in a 2 bed, right now the DD and DS share a room and DS2 sleeps in my bedroom in the travel got. When DH moves out, I'm planning on decorating the whole house and give DD my bedroom, and I will sleep on the sofa. I might buy her a bunk bed so I can sleep in the bottom bunk, if I want to sleep in a bed.

But hoping to move out in 3-4 years, so has anyone here given up their bedroom and sleep on the sofa?

A long time ago, I was living in a studio (on my own but no bedroom) so used a sofa bed.
You CAN some very confortable sofa bed but I would want to look very carefully and not go for the cheapest option.
I would also want a system that is easy to put in and out so it’s not like a doing a whole move with duvet and pillows every morning.

Also think about where you will put your clothes, get changed, put your ‘stuff’ etc...
And check all the things that are in your bedroom at the moment that arent your clothes. Where is that going to go? Will you need to be in your dd bedroom all the time to pick stuff up for example? (I’m thinking pj before going to bed once she is asleep. Think ahead in a few years time too)

Your dcs are still young so you should have some free evenings but I would also plan for the future there. What if you can’t move until 5~7 years time, the dcs are older and you can’t have any privacy at all? What if you meet someone during that time?

I know some people who have done something similar. But for what I have seen, this worked for a short period (maybe a year or so) rather than years and years.

My B/G siblings shared a bedroom for 7 years, quite happily. They're very close as a result. It was a small bedroom and they had bunk beds. If you sleep on the sofa bed where will you keep all your personal possessions, clothes etc? I agree with others who say you deserve a little space of your own, for your sanity if nothing else.

I did this for 6 months and by the end I hated it.

Could you divide the big room with some of these to make different “zones”? www.diy.com/departments/karalis-room-divider/1012710_BQ.prd

Keep your bedroom and get the DC to share a room. Banks and single will be fine for now. Or keep the smallest in your room and the other two can continue to share.

Children should share, and you can have your own room.

I would rather have no room that have three children in the same room but I would share with the 2 year old til five

When I briefly lived in a studio flat, I had a day bed. It did sort of look like a bed in the daytime but functioned perfectly well as a sofa with a throw and lots of cushions. There were drawers underneath with my quilt and pillow. It was more comfortable than a sofa and a lot less hassle than getting the sofa bed assembled every night.

You should do what you feel would work for you and your family. Sod what anyone else thinks. In my case, my concern would be that I'd have to be the last one to bed and first up because you're sleeping in a communal space, unless you can close off your living room door and the children still have access to the rest of the house.

I shared with my two brothers until I was quite old. We had bunks and a single, and took turns, one week top bunk, next week bed, 3rd week bottom bunk. No problem, and we would also take turns in telling each other bedtime stories after lights out.

Decoration is neither here nor there. TBH, I think this enforced sparkly pink girly stuff is a really bad influence in young children. You really would be doing them (all of them) a very big favour if you didn't perpetuate the pink girl blue boy crap.

If I was in this situation I wouldn't for 1 second think of doing anything other than the DCs all in one room. I really hate the stupid pink/blue thing anyway, pressurising children into boring stereotypes. Just do blue, green or yellow or white or a combination for all of them. You are as important as the DC and should not be camping in the lounge with nowhere to call your own / put your clothes. It think it would also be unfair on your DD to expect her to share a room with you, when her brothers have all the fun of sharing together. She will feel really left out I would think, and it puts unnecessary emphasis on the children being "different" just because they are not the same sex. They should be fine to share until DD is around 10, if not later.

The 3 kids share the big room, you have the small room and make the living room very open so they have lots of play space. Do you have a garden? You need your own space!

You are as important as the DC and should not be camping in the lounge with nowhere to call your own / put your clothes

Yes, but the difference is that the OP and her husband caused this situation by having more kids than there is space for, the children didn’t cause it, they had no say in being born!

So if someone has to suck it up and lose out it seems unfair for it to be the children.

OP, I know there’s no point in posters saying stuff like ‘why did you have so many kids you can’t house appropriately’ now, when you can’t un have them. But how did this situation happen? When you chose to have the second and third were you in a suitable house and then fell on hard times or something? I can’t see how anyone could sleepwalk into having three children in a two bedroomed property without actively acknowledging at some point that in the future you’d have to sacrifice your own space to make sure your kids had enough for themselves.

Walking
We have three children in a 2 bed council house

My youngest was a product of a failed coil and I wouldn’t change my life for the world. Now that she’s here we are planning to buy our home within a few months and then eventually build into the loft space to make an extra bedroom and ensuite for my husband and me.

However as a family we have decided that before that we will be buying a decent camper van as that is more important to us than bedrooms.

We live in a 3 bedroom flat with 3 children. We moved here from a two bedroom flat. We have two older kids and then a gap until no 3 came along, so the two eldest are 10 and 12 years older than the youngster. When we lived in the smaller flat the eldest shared a room and the youngest slept in our bedroom. When we moved to the bigger flat the eldest were in their teens and really needed their own space so we gave them a bedroom each and kept the youngest in our bedroom still. As he grew older there just wasn't space (small bedrooms) so we decided to move into the living room and let him have his own room.

I don't regret this at all. However, our oldest two are in their early twenties now and not having our own space is beginning to grate on us. The flat is small as it is. Sadly the opportunities for young people to leave home are scant where we live. Since I'm not rich this is one of the few things I can give them, a home until they're secure enough to move out. I'm willing to make the sacrifice, in other words.

The two older could share a room if it was absolutely necessary, but so far the Russians haven't invaded so I can rexpect their mental health and let them have their own . The youngest however does not need his own space really. He doesn't play with toys and prefers video games and/or drawing, so really he could have the living room sofa bed and we could have our own room (we have a much bigger need to be able to retire). That would mean a monopoly on the largest shared space though, so it's tricky.

Sorry for essay. Just wanted to say you're not alone and whatever works for your family works! :D

Oh, FGS Walking. There isn't some kind of human right that every child must have their own bedroom. They won't be horribly deprived and scarred for life if they share with their siblings. In my view, it's much nicer and more fun for siblings to share, at least until they reach teenagerhood. My DCs have always shared (the older one is now 16) and it makes them closer. We have a 4 bedroom house by the way. All this "they didn't ask to be born" stuff is way over the top. Just think about what works best for the family as a whole, OP. The 3 DCs sharing makes so much more sense than you having to live in the lounge.

Of course kids will be fine sharing as long as they don't wake each other up a lot that is!!! I would take the smaller room but maybe have room in it to put a child in with you if they are not sleeping well or ill.

I would share with your DD

Oops. Walking. My humble Apologies. Wrong thread. . I’ll get my post taken down.

mummy that’s dreadful.

I would hope walking would feel bad, but that’s hard when you have no soul

Cantankerous
Sorry. Please see my last post. I made a mistake and apologised to walking.

If you must know Walking, when I got pregnant with DS2 two years ago, we were planning on buying a bigger house, but until then we figured DS could sleep in our bedroom until he started walking. He turned 2 couple weeks ago, anyway things happen and the situation changed. We're separating and obviously not buying that house now.

So I have no other option than to stay put and move out when I can afford it. Is that good enough reason for you?

Maybe a completely different idea and I don't know the layout of your house but could you sleep in a cupboard? I live with my DP in a 2 bed and one bedroom is a spare room, one bedroom is her room and then I have an amazing platform bed in the cupboard. It just fits a double and it already had shelves and hooks and things so everything fits. It looks incredible and cosy, fairy lights and tapestries galore and it's my own space to go- when we have DC I'll still have it, a space away from everyone else but still not taking up a full room. Is this an option?

My 3 choose to share a room!