To not have a bedroom

[MyBedroom]

So DH is moving out, it's just me and the three DCs. Two boys, one girl. They're are 6,5,2.

We live in a 2 bed, right now the DD and DS share a room and DS2 sleeps in my bedroom in the travel got. When DH moves out, I'm planning on decorating the whole house and give DD my bedroom, and I will sleep on the sofa. I might buy her a bunk bed so I can sleep in the bottom bunk, if I want to sleep in a bed.

But hoping to move out in 3-4 years, so has anyone here given up their bedroom and sleep on the sofa?

Yes me. It was fine.

We did think about this but sofa beds are really uncomfy, we have a sofabed and it was an expensive one.. its still uncomfy. If you can get one without a bar across the middle of it, it would be better. Also get either a good blow up mattress, or an actual mattress that you can keep behind the sofa during the day, it will make a difference.

i sleep in the living room. we have a 3 bed but i chose to give the kids a room each and i sleep down here. we do have a second reception room though. however, my sofa is realllllly comfy, i'd happily sleep on it every night.

Is the larger bedroom big enough to divide? With a set of shelves or something?

How big are your bedrooms? Could you draw out a floor-plan of your house? I love brainstorming space saving problem like this _

There's a bed in ikea with a double bed at the top (high as a bunk bed) and space underneath, to put a single bed. then you would still have your space at night

It would work while they're young, but what about as they get older? If you end up staying there for 4 - 5 years, then you could have a 10 and 11 year old wanting to hang out in the lounge - your bedroom - just as you want to get into pjs, watch TV etc. You'd have to be prepared to make them use their room after a certain time or you'll have no privacy at all.

I wouldn't do it.

Sleep in a bedroom. For a while your children will need you close, upstairs. They are going to be puzzled about you on the couch.

For your part, you will feel as if you are camping in your own house, or couch surfing.

And you will ruin your couch. They are not built for sleeping on all night every night and a pull out couch is rarely comfortable for long term sleeping. Your sitting room will get a bedroomy smell, and you will be giving yourself work putting down bedding and taking it up again and stowing it away every day. If you don't do that your home will look like a student crash pad.

Id put all three kids in together in the bigger bedroom and have the smaller one for yourself.

Personally I’d put all 3 together for now and give yourself the smaller room. Some children love sharing. Some don’t. See how it works. You can always re evaluate. You sound like a loving and caring mum. You’ll easily be able to tell what your children prefer. There really isn’t any need for rash decisions right now.

You’ve been given examples above. Here’s mine. My dds friend is one of 3. The children are close and are allowed to be children, nurtured and with boundaries. They all slept in one room by choice until they moved a little over a year ago. The eldest by then was around 10 and the youngest two (twins) 8.

I shared with my brother for a while when we were 5 and 7. He wasn’t very nice to me at all as a child. It got worse as he got older and my mother didn’t deal with it well. There was emotional and physical abuse in the family both from her and my father and he copied them. She never told my father again about how my brother treated me after a particularly distressing situation when I was maybe 6 when my brother ended up in s&even. Sharing a room at 5 worked fine but I would have hated it by the time I was maybe 7/8 as he was pretty abusive to me by then.

Which ones are the boys and which one the girl? Think I'd go for sleeping on the bottom bunk of one of them and putting the it her two together.

I wouldn't do it yet, try them all in the same room. It would be fine now, but in a bit of time, you might be wanting some more romance in your life, and it wouldn't work for anyone if the kids could wander into the living room and get a shock.

As a child I shared a room with 2 siblings (mixed gender) in 2 sets of bunk beds until the eldest hit puberty years, we did have occasional squabbles but had clear ground rules about 'ownership' of our beds and and it worked out ok.
Good luck!

I slept on an airbed in the front room for over 2 years so my daughter could have a bedroom. So nice to have my own bed and bedroom now though!

Is it not a thing now to consider if you can actually accommodate your children before you have them?

Three and four kids in two bedrooms? Jeez.

Your oldest isn't yet 9. Until then let them all share the largest room. Once the oldest hits 9 then decide how you are going to reconfigure bedrooms.

It's a modern day thing to insist kids that are below the age of puberty have their own bedrooms. Kids are fine sharing, even mixed sex, until around the age they will hit puberty.

There is no point in you not having your own space away from the kids as it will effect your mental health. Also what happens if you meet someone?

I couldn't do it, personally. I need my space where I can close the door and have quiet. I'd put the kids in the larger room and take the smaller one.

Thank you so much for your replies.

1. that's true, I don't know how DD feels about having her own room while her brothers share one. Maybe she'd like it, maybe not.

2. I wanted to decorate the bedrooms all girly and pink, and "boyish" so the DCs could feel comfortable and invite their friends round etc. If I do put them all in one big room, how does it work? 1 bunkbed and a single bed?

Personally I would share with DD, but maybe that's because we have always been very close and sharing is no big deal. However you do it I do think you all need a bed each and not a sofa.

For a while when we were renting a 2 bed flat, my husband and I slept in the lounge and 2 DCs each had their own room. It worked for us and was fine! We now have a 3 bed house which is more comfortable, but it was fine in the lounge! :)

Yes we did for a year or so and it was fine. We had a click clack sofa bed which was really comfy and easy to lay down. You can find them really cheap on eBay. I think the bunk bed suggestion is a good one too, then you'll have options.

I wouldn’t put 3 DC in 1 room because bedtime routine may be a nightmare as they get older.

I’d share with DD for now.

Do you have stairs in your house and could your youngest comfortably manage the stairs without your help if they need you in the night?

I'd personally say bunk beds and you sleep on top and your 2 year old sleep on the bottom.

The sofa bed idea might work for a few months but they are bloody uncomfortable unless you get a good quality one

Every time I rest a thread like this I’m shocked. Why are you so many people having 3 or 4 kids hen they’ve only got a 2 bed house. Children aren’t a right, and you really need to consider if you can house them without crowding before having them.

It could work but when I separated from exH my bedroom became a real sanctuary for me - I redecorated and loved to retreat there at the end of the day. It was powerfully important to me in a way it hadn’t been before - a child-free space where I was just me, and everything was mine and chosen for and by me. It meant a lot.

Rocinante1 So what do you propose the OP does now? Try to get the 2yo back up her foof?