Jesus she's not dead yet DP Ex wife

[notdeadyetalready]

Tonight lovely DP comes home all worried. His ex wife is harping on text about a weekend a fortnight away ( DP contact weekend) demanding to know what he is doing that weekend.

Teenage DC then text asking Dad, what are we doing weekend of (2 weeks away).

This happens a lot. Mum gets them all stressed about stuff on Dads weekends.

So ex W is DEMANDING to know what he's doing that weekend.

He replies calmly it's his weekend so don't book anything. We are busy.

More yelling about his unreasonableness. Then she starts up that they have a funeral and why isn't he more sympathetic he's a shot dad and they have to attend the funeral because it can't be any other time.

He calls teenage DC to express utmost sympathy about dear darling great Aunt.

To be told

SHE'S STILL ALIVE. (Albeit very poorly but still alive)

What sort of fucked up mind does that ???

Lol read my title and it does slightly read that we would like EX Wife to be dead

Maybe this is why the words batshit crazy were invented.

So the potential funeral of the not dead Aunt is at the weekend......?

She might be stressed about her sick aunt. Depends what she is like normally.

Blimey... a VERY fucked up mind in my view
Wow

I hope he replied to ex wife and told her defiently no since she lied about that!

Sick and dead are a bit different though. You wouldn't get them mixed up.

So what did the teenage DC think they were asking about that weekend for, if the aunt isn't dead?

Oh my! I don't care how stressed she is that's nuts.

Well, when the great aunt dies, they can go to the funeral. Seen as it’s a month for funerals in the Uk, it’s a while off (unless the ex is thinking of bumping off her great aunt?).

She might be really close to her and worried? misses point of thread Are they close?

I'm fascinated you need to text asking for details. Have they pre ordered the funeral. Like when a book has a release date you pre order.

Lol
Love your replies.

She is batshit crazy
She has upset DC that they can't go to dads that weekend BECAUSE

She throws in an orthodontist appointment same weekend (like they work on Saturdays NHS right).

He's Uber calm and non retaliating. Keep the suggestions of his reply coming.

Love the pre-book and release lines. And the is she bumping off her aunt.

Maybe slightly missing the point but I’ve never heard of a weekend funeral!

footballmum
Me either. Actually that's the best line of response. Are you sure the crem is open on Saturday?

If you know she has form for this sort of thing, just have a list of 'plans' ready, then do them or not as you all see fit. Plans changed, you can tell her later if you don't do whatever crazy important thing you said you'd do.

Trouble is she has already got to DC.

Dp feels adamant she will somehow manage to knock off Aunt AND make funeral happen that weekend.

He also has a family function that weekend. A big one. Planned for six months. She just wants to sabotage clearly.

Maybe she's on the Gin, no excuse of course.

It’s clear from your posts that you don’t like her - ‘harping on’, ‘demanding’. I think she’s perfectly reasonable to ask about swapping weekends, for whatever reason she pleases. Just as your DP is perfectly reasonable to say no if it’s not convenient.

ExH and I often text about weekends and swap if it’s more convenient for one of us. I always thought that was normal.

Your DP could message to say that he’s so sorry to hear Auntie Madge has died. He always thought fondly of her and would like to go to funeral so can she send the details and as it’s his contact weekend he can take kids with him

nhs orthodontists can and do work at the weekend sometimes.

but i'm pretty sure people need to actually be dead before you arrange a funeral date....she sounds insane.

I did read the title like you were wistfully planning ways to kill of the ex wife

Even for a non-existent funeral egg?

he should text back saying he is upset about Great Aunt and would also like to attend her funeral with dc.

If she is still alive, and dies within the next few days, it is unlikely that they will be able to arrange a funeral within the next two weeks. I believe most people are waiting at least three weeks at the moment. (I guess it depends on where the deceased lives, but I have heard this from several people in different parts of the country).
Even if you could arrange a funeral within a short time frame, I think it is unlikely to be on a Saturday.
Tell your DH to say that it is his contact weekend, and that will be maintained, but if she tells him when/where the service is to be held, he will happily drop the DC off for the duration so that they can attend.