Tonight lovely DP comes home all worried. His ex wife is harping on text about a weekend a fortnight away ( DP contact weekend) demanding to know what he is doing that weekend.
Teenage DC then text asking Dad, what are we doing weekend of (2 weeks away).
This happens a lot. Mum gets them all stressed about stuff on Dads weekends.
So ex W is DEMANDING to know what he's doing that weekend.
He replies calmly it's his weekend so don't book anything. We are busy.
More yelling about his unreasonableness. Then she starts up that they have a funeral and why isn't he more sympathetic 
he's a shot dad and they have to attend the funeral because it can't be any other time.
He calls teenage DC to express utmost sympathy about dear darling great Aunt.
To be told
SHE'S STILL ALIVE. (Albeit very poorly but still alive)
What sort of fucked up mind does that ???