Is your life easier when your DH is away?

[revision]

Is this normal or not and am I awful for thinking this sometimes / quite a lot? AIBU?

DH is away with work for a few nights this week, as he often is. I just came back from the school run and rather than rushing round tidying the house and making dinner, I'm on MN with a coffee and will just do pasta or something later. Plus less mess and laundry all round and generally a more chilled atmosphere, even though the kids have exams this week.

I do appreciate DH for all he does and I miss him too, but AIBU to feel more relaxed when he's on a trip? Does anyone else feel like this ever?

Less cooking, less laundry, less tidying up after, less bed space stealing. What's not to love??

God yes, mines on nights today/tomorrow and I’m inwardly snuggling on sofa with remote and puglet, then to bed undisturbed....aaah

My dh doesnt go away often, maybe a weekend a year, but when he does its bliss. Bed to myself with no snoring and the 4dc seem more chilled/compliant.

Mind you i quite like it if hes working late/away to the pub, never get to be by myself so enjoy the peace.

Yes, mine is away two nights a week at the moment. DD and I have spaghetti Bolognese two nights in a row because we both love if and he doesn't. We chill out in our PJ's and I watch rubbish on TV. Miss him but enjoy it too

Yep. Me (& the kids) breathe a sigh of relief if we know he won't be home when we get home! Sadly no nights away for him though!

but how does he bring so much mess!i don't understand how he creates it or why.but its so much tidier,less stickier
I think everyone appreciates the time your talking of.dont feel bad.
you know hes coming home so its easier not to miss him.youll always have him back so that time apart I ok.does mean you don't appreciate or love him any less.

MIne used to go away for work quite a bit and it was bliss. Now, he works from home and is always around, even though I love him I wish he'd go away like he used to.

I love it when my husband goes away. Tidy house, less washing, bed to myself & most importantly well behaved kids who aren't getting wound up all the time. They go to bed for 7 instead of being hyper & running around until closer to 9.

It's things like no wet towels and underpants on the floor, random piles of change / cables / business cards / receipts / bric-a-brac everywhere, orange peel and apple cores left on bedside table, tea bags, bike equipment everywhere. Also no clothes that I have to sniff test to see if they need a wash. No war programmes in the evening or Bloomberg first thing in the morning. No talk of the FT and other equally engaging topics. Much less pans and dishes because of less cooking. Not having to come up with interesting dinners or get his preferences in for breakfast. Much less shopping. I could go on, but I feel bad admitting it.

Oh God no!

He does the cooking and loads of jobs around the house as he gets home much earlier than me.

When I am home alone I come in to a cold house (in winter), no dinner and all the jobs to do. It is horrid.

for this reason he is rarely allowed out

It's nice in some ways, harder in others.

DH comes home Sunday, and will have been away for 2 and a half weeks by then.
Half term was tough, keeping the dc's entertained, but mainly due to not having any adult interaction once they are in bed. I have really missed him.
On the other hand, the house is tidied, and bed times have been calmer, as dh usually arrives home an hour before bedtime normally.
I'm looking forward to him being back though!

God yes! I love him to bits but he's going away next weekend and I have firm plans to watch EXACTLY what and to eat what I want for dinner. A few evenings of zero compromise is a wonderful thing.

100% yes! I love it when he goes away, just wish he'd do it more often! LOL

I think when they are home, you kind of semi-expect them to see what needs doing, only to repeatedly find this doesn't actually happen

Massive generalisation OP. Lots of men aren't like that. But yes, I love having the house to myself for a few days

God no. He takes over with the DC as soon as he gets home as he doesn’t get chance to spend much time with them in the week, gets them dressed in the morning while I shower etc, regularly cooks etc. Life is much harder when he’s away.
Unfortunately for me he’s away fairly often.

During the week it's easier - I can have a snack-y supper rather than a proper meal and watch what I want on TV.

But if he's away at the weekend it's harder as he usually takes the DC to their football matches (DS1 on Sun and DS2 on Sat), so if he's not here I have to do it and drag the other DC along to watch!

For sure! I like one or two nights a week without him! Kids calmer, dinner easier and more sleep!

Oh and he tidies up after himself, puts a load of washing in, stacks the dishwasher if needed etc.

My dp is away for a few days right now and I feel so calm and the house is cleaner and tidier! It's just bliss!

I enjoy it for 2 days - more slobby, watch lower grade tv have bed to myself after 2 days I want him to chat to and the positives wear off

What I've noticed with DH is that he makes a lot more work out of the kids these days - we have 6yo twins and they often play together and can resolve their own arguments and stuff. But DH is still thinking back about a year ago and wades in to every disagreement and then they get more pissed off with him than each other! After a few days on holiday last week he did eventually admit that he's "not really that tuned into them at the moment" and started leaving off, but it took long enough!

Yes op same here for a lot of that - it’s so much messier when he is here because he leaves clothes and coins etc everywhere, and I do pull back a bit thinking he could do his share, and he doesn’t, so it takes me longer to do everything whereas when it’s just me I just crack on. He also sleeps at odd hours quite a bit due to the frequent travelling so I end up having to wake him up after I come back from the school run, or he gets up and starts getting ready loudly during toddlers nap time etc etc
But I do miss him when he’s gone, I enjoy having his company in the evenings rather than just by myself, and we could pop out for spontaneous trips in the day if his hours are less etc. I think it’s just when they work away a lot you have to keep adjusting to how things are with them there, then not there, and back and forth with it

Not at all. DH does all the cooking, is probably tidier than I am and does his fair share with the DC so it's definitely more work when he's away. I also don't sleep well when he's away as it feels strange without him. I suppose it is quite nice to have full control over the TV remote but we enjoy watching a lot of the same stuff anyway so it's not really an issue.

No! When DH is away the baby is glued to me 24/7. The highlight of my day is when DH gets home and I can hand him the baby and breathe a sigh of relief... get a drink, go to the loo in peace, check my email, have a lie down... And an adult to talk to after being stuck with a baby all day!

I feel like such a horrid witch saying this, and I do love my DH (honestly!) but sometimes he drives me batshit when he is at home a lot, because he has days when he just talks SO much (so I can't concentrate on anything,) and he dominates the tv, and puts utter drivel on the tv that I am not interested in - like old 70's shit, Jeremy Kyle and This Morning and Loose Women, all of which I fucking hate! I thank GOD for Netflix so I can immerse myself in it (with my headphones on.) I say 'I am watching XYZ now, so I won't hear you for a bit.'

The reason he is sometimes at home, is because his job means he works 6-7 days in a row, and then has 5-6 days off. And although it's quite nice for the first 3 days, it starts to wear thin by the 4th. Not least because he never goes out, he has no friends (only colleagues who he only sees on work days,) and no outside hobbies... So he is ALWAYS IN. (On the 5-6 days he is not at work.)

He is having 6-7 weeks off in September/October for an operation, and I am dreading it, because he will drive me fucking batshit.

As has been said, it pisses me off having to do 'tea' every night, and when he isn't about for a few days, I can just get cheese and crackers and a glass of wine, and then a Turkish delight with a latte for dessert, with a great movie or a night of tv that I want to watch.

When HE is home, it always has to be a fucking cooked meal, and the same programmes every night.... (around teatime...) the news, the one show, then some shit he recorded while he was away. And he ALWAYS wants to know the night before 'what's for tea tomorrow???' Also, I get sick of his rants EVERY TIME the fucking news is on. Every day he is home, he blathers on about the NHS, the Government, Brexit, immigration, various celebrities. Blah blah blah, gripe gripe gripe, moan moan moan! I dread the news coming on so much, that I actually go in the garden at 6pm when the news comes on.

I absolutely love love LOVE it when he is away for a few days.

I do like it when he comes back though, and as I said, I do enjoy his company, and some nights we do watch stuff together (that we both want to watch,) and we occasionally go to the pub or for a meal.... But when he is at home all the time, it is sometimes hard work. Wouldn't want to be without him though, as I do love him and care about him, and frankly, I would HATE to be single.

Interesting to see how many women love it when their husband is away! Especially interesting that many are saying things are less stressful when he's not at home. My friend said that she hates her husband being at home, and gets bored when he is home.

I do wonder how all these woman (including me) are going to cope when their husband retires......... Because many women I know feel the same; they LOVE it when their husband is away.