Is your life easier when your DH is away?

[revision]

Is this normal or not and am I awful for thinking this sometimes / quite a lot? AIBU?

DH is away with work for a few nights this week, as he often is. I just came back from the school run and rather than rushing round tidying the house and making dinner, I'm on MN with a coffee and will just do pasta or something later. Plus less mess and laundry all round and generally a more chilled atmosphere, even though the kids have exams this week.

I do appreciate DH for all he does and I miss him too, but AIBU to feel more relaxed when he's on a trip? Does anyone else feel like this ever?

How is your house any tidier? Yes I get that there is one less person making a mess, but there is also one less person tidying up? How long does making dinner take OP if your husband is home? Can’t he do it?

Obviously quite a common sentiment then

Yes it's the cooking mostly, especially as I'm vegetarian but he is most definitely not. It's amazing how much less mess there is. Plus the mornings are easier too because it's not the constant, "where's this, where's that?" on top of the general rush. I think when they are home, you kind of semi-expect them to see what needs doing, only to repeatedly find this doesn't actually happen. So there's less frustration as well when you're on your own maybe?

my parents marriage lasted because of this, dad was away all the time. Mum loved it. House was social hub of village, Kids everywhere...... then there would be this shout 'dads left London' and the hoover would come out.. and the house went into alphabetical order and my mum would turn back into a wife...........................

I don't like it when he's not here, more work to do for me as he's so good and really pulls his weight in the house and with childcare. The best feeling is if I'm in a hotel for work for a few days - just come in at night and lay on the bed! Bliss!

@MustShowDH haha that made me laugh as I have been actively encouraging jobs overseas!

Mountainsoutofmolehills

That sounds good fun

Love it when mines away.

Same here

DP has just been on 16 weeks gardening leave before starting his new job and I work for myself from home.

On Monday he started his new job and is away until Friday.

I love him to bits but I am loving having some space. His work means he usually spends about 25% of his work away so am looking forward to resuming a normal routine. I really like my own company so the last few months have been challenging. DP has always been a way for at least one evening per week in the 14 years we have been together and I am used to it.

DS is in the middle of GCSE's but generally when DP is away there is a much more chilled laid back feeling in the house. Dinner is relaxed and unplanned, TV is off during day, Evening spent watching my programmes or reading in the bath, I can star fish in bed ..... it's bliss.

I hope that doesn't make me sound like an awful partner

Gawd no, he's a SAHD If he takes DS and the dog with him then yes, I get time to myself and the option of doing stuff I wouldn't normally do but otherwise it means compressing my hours at work, doing ALL the laundry, cooking, dog walking, allotment work etc and having no company in the evening to chat, read, play games with...

The flipside of this of course is that I very rarely go away on my own, and if I do I make damned sure he has the option of doing the same at another time.

Absolutely not. In fact when he is away I have to rush back and sort things out cook for DS etc. When he is home he mostly does it

My house is a LOT tidier when he's away.

@Candyflip my house is always tidier when DH is away because he is the one that makes the most mess and also doesn’t tidy up!

Hell yes! I love it when DH isn't here, just DS to look after and I can do what I like. I wish he'd go away more but he doesn't have that kind of job.
I miss living on my own, it's tough to share your space.

Yes much better :)

I hope you’re feeling less alone/guilty, op!

Yep, I love it when he goes away counting down to the three day mini break when he goes to his grandad style music festival soon

Yes. Mines back tonight

Another 'yes' here.
The house isn't tidier when DP is away, but I find that I don't mind it. He makes a fuss about mess and it's very stressful (especially when it's mostly his mess)
Not having to talk about politics or eco things all the time is nice.

Yes house runs like clockwork when he is away.

YADNBU
Mine is away now..... I am sleeping star-shaped in the bed instead of perched on the edge.

Dishwasher only has to run (and be emptied by me) every 1.5 days instead of every day, bins hardly ever have to be emptied..... etc etc

Oh yes

why doesn’t he tidy Pumpkin1975?

Mine goes away a couple of times a year on hobby breaks, and I count the days down!! It's utter bliss to have control of the TV remote, no muddle and endless questions, the bed to myself....and the house is way tidier.

No, DH is very hands on at home and with DD, he does half of everything and we share the same taste for things we watch etc.
I like to spend some time on my own at home, but if DD stays at home I want DH to be around as well.

Yes! Mine is away overseas all next week and I can't wait! Peace and quiet!!

The house is tidier because he never puts anything away and I do. When he's here I follow the trail he's left, tidying up after him. I spend 30 minutes every Monday morning restoring order.