is it cruel to send the DC for 6 weeks in the Summer hols to the holidays club

[whatwouldbe]

I am unable to get any annual leave over the summer which means DC will have to spend the entire summer school hols (6 weeks) in a holiday club. 8:30 - 17:30.

it wasn't planned like that, I was hoping to get 1 weeks off in between but could not.

Several friends and my mum told me that this is cruel. That the DC need a break and downtime. I have no friends who could have the DC for a few days and no family to help (my mum is ill and cannot physically do it).

DC dad cannot have them either (long backstory).

working from home is not an option in my line of work.

It is not a choice for me. I really wanted to spend a few days with them at home. It's not only shit for them, it's alse shit for me. all friends have nice holidays planned and we cannot even have some chilled days at home. but there is nothing I can do.

please tell me you have done it too and that it is ok. I feel really awful after DM and some friends made these remarks.

My own son who has complex sn would be better off in a holiday club that catered for his needs and had consistency than with babysitters etc who probably wouldn't.

I would add that I felt that I spent about a decade in a tunnel of busyness. My parents, two and a half hours away, were also having problems. I sort of stumbled through it, to emerge finding that the kids are doing fine, the mortgage paid and with a reasonable pension.

I agree with most. Not ideal as time to relax would do them good but you can't do anything about it if you can't have time off. If home childcare is impossible due to your kid's needs then that's that.

I would just make sure you listen to whst they want to do on weekends, and not try to pack in lots of activities.

dildial

I explained several times why a CM is not an option. Is it so hard to understand that childminders cannot look after a child with very complex special needs?

No it is not cruel. Needs must.

They will be safe, have plenty to entertain them, and if anything like the holiday club my kids sometimes go to, they offer more chilled activities like play dough, reading, colouring in etc as well as the exciting active stuff.

Don't beat yourself up AT ALL.

OP really dont worry, and I promise you that in time you will be hearing about older teens who seem unable to launch into adulthood. Learning resiliance and independence and having the example of a dedicated and working mother are real advantages.

This sounds perfectly reasonable to me. It's a holiday club not a concentration camp. They are run by experienced staff who will take care of your children and make sure they have fun. The people who are cruel (and nosy and interfering) are the ones who are critisising your plans to provide for your DC.

To flip the coin somewhat, I'd say you're incredibly lucky to have the option to send your disabled DC to holiday camp at all! The one here has been cut to the bone and parents are only allowed 2 weeks at summer.

You aren't being cruel at all, you're doing what you have to do. And I totally understand about wanting to keep a job that supports you with appointments etc the other 99% of the time. The schedule can be relentless.

I haven't RTFT. It isn't cruel but obviously it's not ideal. Could you even take one or two days of A/L and take them on a long weekend somewhere - the beach? If even one day A/L isn't possible - and that does sound very stingy of your employer - then plan a few nice day trips for a Saturday or Sunday in the holidays, but don't overdo it as they will be tired from their long days in childcare.

If you can plan a week's holiday somewhere in the Oct half term I think that will help make up for it.

But perhaps it's time to look for a new job?

Sounds to me like you are doing a great job on your own, providing for and looking after your children. 6 weeks holiday club may not everyone's idea of be ideal but, on the other hand, most children sit around saying they are bored and want to do something. Have some nice, chilled weekends with them and don't give another thought to the people who are saying it is cruel. It isn't !

Relatives and friends who aren't willing to help you are in no position to judge what isn't really a choice for you and your children.

Of course it's not cruel!

Loads of under 5s go to nursery throughout the summer - why do they suddenly need 6 weeks of doing nothing once they turn 5?

My 7yo would be over the moon to go to holiday club every day in the summer!

The haters need to get a grip, it won't hurt them , they'll have a blast and they'll be tired each day!

They're your kids and you need to do what you need to do. I don't hesitate with after school clubs and holiday clubs. I need to work, and DS loves it!

All these people that think it's cruel....I'm pretty sure the kids would rather do nice things with mum (and have the money to do so) and have a roof over their head.

There are some daft suggestions on here - how would an au pair be remotely suitable for all day care for 2 kids including one with special needs?! Even if you could recruit a good one in 6 short weeks. Op has got good childcare lined up that's appropriate for both kids and that they enjoy. They are lucky and will have a great summer I'm sure.

C+P of the activities offered at out holiday camp:

Activities include

Sports

Basketball, bat and ball games, bench ball, boot camp, cricket, dance, dodge ball, football, inflatables, parachute games, pedal go karts, playground games, races, rounders, scooters, slip and slide, skipping, skittles, space hoppers, tag rugby, team building and tennis.

Arts and Crafts

Art, badge making, biscuit decorating, board games, card games, cinema club, clay modelling, comic making, computer games, construction, disco, drama, face painting, fancy dress, karaoke, lego, music, painting, papier mache, play dough, reading corner, sand play and treasure hunts.

On certain days they also have a 'game station' that comes along, its a motorhome converted to a gaming room with all different computer consoles, they use the school pool for 'fun splash' afternoons, and have slip and slide on the field etc. Honestly holiday camps now are fabulous.

If yours is anything like it they will have a fun filled 6 weeks OP.

Op it's not what you'd pick but then a lot of life is like that.

I worked in a kids holiday club and they won't be the only ones there the whole time. If they enjoy it then please don't worry.

I know, it is pathetic. Those who are criticising, should step up and help op out here, instead of casting judgement. Sometimes we don't have anyone else, I am in that position, I am lucky that I can stay at home whilst dh works, but not everyone can. My mum is 83 and lives 50 miles away, and dh parents and family live in Italy. I am an only child, I have step brothers and a sister, but they live 3 hours away. Friends have their own stresses and kids to look after. Its not like op is sending them out to work, she is using approved childcare to look after her kids whilst she works, to put a roof over their head and food in their stomachs.

I bet she would love to stay at home with them, but she cannot. There are many children in cruel situations where they are being abused and neglected, and this is not it! So those people criticising, get a big grip!!!!

OP when mine have been to holiday club they have loved it . I think you are doing a great job , send them and really make an effort at the weekends to do what they/you want, and spend time together and enjoy them .

If your friends or family who are passing comment can’t help, then you just ignore them. Their judgement is of no earthly use to you.

Your children are really lucky, OP. Don’t feel bad! Will you get the August bank holiday off?

I’d possibly beg for another long weekend where possible too.

But otherwise crack on - they’ll be fine and you can enjoy October Alf term.

Oh by the way, mine moan and groan during the holidays that they are bored, despite going out, trying to do different things, so they won't be bored at kids club. I send my kids twice a week during the six week break to kids club so they will have different things to do, and they take them out to different museums and attractions, I am learning to drive, so cannot do that. I save all year for this holiday clubs as I need it. I have a dd with ASD and learning difficulties, and a ds 6 who wants to be constantly entertained, gets bored of i pad after 10 mins.

Holiday club is the cheapest form of childcare where I am - £25 a day whereas childminders are £45-£50.

And honestly, who would really hire a foreign teenager with poor English to care for a child with complex needs?

I don't really get why sitting at home staring at screens is better than going to a club and doing games/crafts/sports/swimming/playing with other children. Surely they still get two days a week of 'down time'.

Oh God no, it's not cruel. I was sent to Summer camps all the time! I turned up alright, I think. And it's not that children need a downtime; I was always excited to meet new people (people my age, I must stress) with the same interests and preferences than me. Don't beat yourself up, she'll love it! And then, you can go back home to her to hear all the lovely stories of her day. x

Totally Molly, my dd goes to a holiday club that her special school runs, they do: craft, cooking, swimming, going to places, and my ds goes to a mainstream one where they do: zorbing, wall climbing, cooking, swimming, outings to Warwick Castle, GulliversLand, museums. Last time he went to Leicester Space centre.

Not RTFT, but your friends and your mum need to learn to shut the hell up.
What are you supposed to do if you can't get time off work? If you can't get time off work, you can't get it.
People like that really wind me up with their unasked for opinions.
I used to get shit like that when I worked.
"Aw, they never see you!"
Now I'm a SAHM and have been for several years,people judge from the opposite way.
"Don't you want to go back to work? Aren't you bored? What do you do all day? etc etc
You'll get judged whatever you do as a mum by judgy twats, so do what's best for you and your family and mentally tell them to shove it
Yes,in an ideal world you'd get lots of money and be able to stay at home and have a part time job too and have the best of both worlds, but it's not an ideal world,is it.
They'll be fine in childcare. Mine enjoyed it, they're well looked after and they have fun when in nursery/at childminder.