is it cruel to send the DC for 6 weeks in the Summer hols to the holidays club

[whatwouldbe]

I am unable to get any annual leave over the summer which means DC will have to spend the entire summer school hols (6 weeks) in a holiday club. 8:30 - 17:30.

it wasn't planned like that, I was hoping to get 1 weeks off in between but could not.

Several friends and my mum told me that this is cruel. That the DC need a break and downtime. I have no friends who could have the DC for a few days and no family to help (my mum is ill and cannot physically do it).

DC dad cannot have them either (long backstory).

working from home is not an option in my line of work.

It is not a choice for me. I really wanted to spend a few days with them at home. It's not only shit for them, it's alse shit for me. all friends have nice holidays planned and we cannot even have some chilled days at home. but there is nothing I can do.

please tell me you have done it too and that it is ok. I feel really awful after DM and some friends made these remarks.

What kind of employer is it? If a medium or large one you could try putting in a grievance

@hadenough
Are jobs really that easy to come by where you live? Finding a new job which meets the ideal work life balance can be impossible.

And I'm still desperate to know how you'd ensure you're never a single parent to a child with special needs. Your advice could save a lot of us a lot of stress!

My memory of school holiday is a week in gymnastics, week in canoeing etc etc. We spent at least 4/5 weeks in various activities as Single mum had to work and don’t remember feeling hard done by or deprived of “down time”. How was spending all day playing in the sea doing cool stuff not fun? Also for someone who was bullied at school being put together with new children each week who we didn’t know each other was actually good.

I don't think the police are disrespected either. They are just people like anyone else, some will be brilliant at their job, others not so much, some you will get on with, some not. In general they do a tough job and often can't do any right no matter what they do. It's not a job I would like to do so I am glad that others do. There was nothing wrong with your posts Nicky

I hope hadenough has learned something as that's more valuable than scoring points at this stage I think. I think the insults come from being backed into a corner. They were however uncalled for.

And to finish. I always go by - you don't have to blow someone else's candle out to make yours glow brighter. I have no idea what the poster thought they would gain by trying to make the OP feel bad.

We don’t know much about OP’s employment options, but should a job move be an option that could be good for the future.

loopy What would her grounds be?!

Good post waxon

Ah maybe hadenough runs a MLM ‘own business’ -you know with all that flexibility and time off with the kids...

She could challenge the “business reason”, unless it’s a small employer.

Thank you nicky :)

I despise bullying, which is what this is starting to get like, no matter how deserved the comments back might be. It's getting a bit like a pack mentality.

You and the OP were (as far as I can see) the only ones really insulted/disrespected so were entitled to a bit of a lash back. It's starting to get a bit horrible now.

The OP seems very grounded and clued up about what her options are. She is quite clear about the fact that these business reasons are exceptional.

Sorry read first and last page only! Just wanted to pipe up with I think it will be fine. My DCs go to the local council run club - it’s cheap, they can do activities - sports, animal visits, flower arranging depending on the day, but they can also sit around doing colouring or watching films. Sometimes there’s a trip out which you can pay extra for. If they have a good balance of planned activity and lounging around, then it’s fairly similar to being at home. (Maybe better!)
The only thing they’re missing out on is the sane as you - a family holiday but that’s not essential, and people don’t always have them in summer either. I spent one summer without my mum as she went back home as her parent was dying. Usually we spent some of the week at an old people’s home being quiet while she worked. I would have LOVED kids club!

Waxon I haven't lashed back at all, I've replied politely back. I certainly wouldn't insult someone just because they insulted me first.

I stand by everything I said to @hadenough. I've asked polite questions and she has avoided answering them. What she has implied about the OP's parenting is far worse than anything said to her.

Not a lot you can do really if they won't allow leave. I feel for you.

Just thinking aloud but what company are you working for that doesn't allow for leave in the school holidays, that's crazy. What about Easter and Christmas, do you get them 4 weeks off?

The OP has said that this refusal of school holiday leave is a one off.

You have no other choice OP - but you will have evenings and weekends to do cool stuff! If you chained your children to their beds while you went out to work, that would be cruel... The holiday club will be fine.

That's correct nicky you would have been entitled to lash back was what I meant. All you did was pull the poster up on the comments.

I don't think it's cruel. It might be tough on them as they might want a break but I would just focus on making sure that evenings and weekends were low key in order to make up for it.

WaxOn sorry, I see what you mean now, thanks

If it makes you feel any better, I’ve worked from home all day with no childcare. Doing that has meant they’ve spent most of the day watching telly and I threw a few sausage rolls at them at lunch time. They would have been better off at holiday club!

You do what you have to do. But make sure your name’s at the top of the list for the next holiday.

It’s not cruel, you’ve booked them into 6 weeks holiday club not 6 weeks hard labour, I assume the focus is on play and sport rather than a load of maths and English tutoring so they will be getting downtime. I’ve had to put DD into full time childcare every holiday so far this year because I’m working on a big project. It’s rubbish for me because I haven’t been able to spend a lot of fun time with DD but she doesn’t seem concerned. You can’t get the time off so you just have to make the most of your weekends.

Just another vote to say there is nothing wrong with summer club. You're putting their needs first by ensuring they are properly cared for while you need to work. You work so that you can provide for them.

Don't worry.

I'm in the definitely not cruel, but not ideal camp.

I do wish people would stop saying how brilliant holiday club is and how all DCs love it though.

DS hated holiday club - thankfully tolerates sports and football club. It wasn't so much the being there, but he hated having to get up early and not be in the house. I did actually arrange the famous teenager for one Easter week ( and yes I have read the thread unlike many others so know that it's not a possibility for the OP) and DS complained of being bored .

However like most working parents didn't have any other option but to send him there. Thankfully as I work p/t I was able to exchange childcare with other parents and now he's old enough that I can successfully work from home when he's around.

People have said about having mini-breaks at the weekend. Personally I'd do the opposite - DCs will have been out of the house all week so I think they'll enjoy relaxed time with their DM chilling out a bit more than rushing off somewhere.

Definitely get your dibs in for next summer. Book something now so you all have it to look forward to and it gives you longer to save up.

I think your kids will love camp, if you choose a fun one or one that maybe has a week long themed one like cooking or science. You can have the weekends to take things slow. If you took a week offf your kids would want to be doing something. You are doing the best you can and kids don’t need as much down time as we do I. Just let them relax when they are home. You will all survive.