is it cruel to send the DC for 6 weeks in the Summer hols to the holidays club

[whatwouldbe]

I am unable to get any annual leave over the summer which means DC will have to spend the entire summer school hols (6 weeks) in a holiday club. 8:30 - 17:30.

it wasn't planned like that, I was hoping to get 1 weeks off in between but could not.

Several friends and my mum told me that this is cruel. That the DC need a break and downtime. I have no friends who could have the DC for a few days and no family to help (my mum is ill and cannot physically do it).

DC dad cannot have them either (long backstory).

working from home is not an option in my line of work.

It is not a choice for me. I really wanted to spend a few days with them at home. It's not only shit for them, it's alse shit for me. all friends have nice holidays planned and we cannot even have some chilled days at home. but there is nothing I can do.

please tell me you have done it too and that it is ok. I feel really awful after DM and some friends made these remarks.

And to add OP, it's only on MN that I first discovered that DC need long lies and downtime and lazy days and can't cope with after school clubs or are too tired for school by the end of term. I appreciate that all DC are different and especially if you have one with complex needs, but the reality is that the holiday clubs are fun, kids make friends, the staff are usually friendly and used to planning out good days and they all have chill areas too.

Your DC will love it. It's you I feel sorry for tbh as you will feel guilty but there is really no need.

It’s not cruel in the slightest. Sending them to a holiday club where they will have food, activities and other kids to play with will be fine - I imagine there’ll be some downtime built in and they’ll have a great time. I know it’s not what you wanted but needs must and hopefully you can maybe finish early like you say - would working through your lunch and leaving early be an option maybe?

Last summer I was in our local park with a friend and one of the local holiday clubs turned up - someone I knows daughter was one of the kids. They looked to be having a great time, I was near enough to hear how well the volunteers were interacting with the kids and was really impressed.

Please ignore the few posters on this thread who are being utterly ridiculous about it!

hadenough I’m a police officer. Hardly a rubbish employer (well they can be, but for different reason). Not many other employers will give me a similar jog with fully flexible conditions on my terms.

Yep, Noqont, you're right, it's right up there with: "I would not tolerate an employer who couldn't give me at least a week off during the summer holidays."

Sometimes people have no choice but to tolerate their employers when they rely on their wages to pay their bills, feed their children and keep a roof over their heads. It is a place of privilege for some to be able to swap their jobs so easily. Some dickheads (imo) would do well to remember that.

@Nicknacky still no answer I see. Just more parroting.

hadenough It has nothing with rubbish employers. I have the statutory five weeks holiday a year my son in y2 has many more. Am I suppose to take time off without pay?!

hadenough by saying you would never have 'allowed' yourself to be in the OP's position you are in complete denial about what a privileged position you are in. You called yourself 'lucky' but you're claiming your own agency got you where you are, and implying that others with fewer options have slipped up, or not tried hard enough. Plenty of unforseen events crop up and, ultimately, shape our day-to-day. Those with wealth and a strong support network are in a better position to ride out these events and should refrain from judging others who aren't as lucky.

Oh OP please don’t beat yourself up about this - you are doing the best you can, it’s one summer holiday, there’ll be plenty others you can hopefully get to spend more time together.

I was this child, both parents worked (and my grandparents helpfully buggered off for every school holidays ) and I had to spend many a school holiday sat bored titless at their workplace - I’d have jumped at the chance of a holiday club!

Could you book a weekend UK break maybe? Borrow some camping gear and head off on the Friday and back Sunday?

I think anyone who says a single mum who is working to make hers and her children’s lives better by putting a roof over their head and food on the table is an arsehole.
Some people have no or very little support and have to just do what they can, if it’s putting the children in children’s club over the holidays then so be it. It’s childrens club, they do fun stuff and have snacks every ten minutes it’s not a chain gang

Wow there are some stupid comments on here, lucky you being able to pick jobs that ensured your work life balance, op is a single parent, one of her children is disabled, jobs are not that easy to come by. She cannot just walk out of a job, that pays the bills, she does not have a wealthy partner to rely on [hmm[.

ByeMF - people can at least read all the OP's posts by scrolling down and looking for the posts with a different coloured background, without reading all 500 or so comments on this thread, and thus comment sensibly based on everything the OP has said, not on what all the other posters have written. If you can't be arsed to do even that, "cos, you know, life", why bother to comment at all?

And I'm wondering why the OP should move to a job where she won't have the security of employment she has now but strangely @hadenough won't answer that.

As I say, my priorities mean I wouldn't allow myself to be in this position, but different people have different priorities

Hadenough could you possibly say that again? I dont think I fully understand yet what a smug and superior parent you clearly think you are?

hadenough Sorry would you care to explain what you mean? Throwing insults doesn’t make you cleverer than me.

Be very careful when making statements like 'I would never be in this position'. You have no idea what situations you might find yourself in or what decisions you might have to take if your circumstances changed. If only life were that simple...

My word, there are a lot of snowflakes out there! Kids generally like spending time with other kids. It's good for their socialising skills! Holiday clubs aren't school - they do fun stuff. I bet a lot of kids would much rather go there than stay at home with the french Au Pair.

I used to go as a kid, and LOVED it.

Please don't feel guilty for doing this. Your kids will probably thank you.

And there is no way hadenough you would walk out of a job in June that normally offers flexibility for appointments for a child with special needs because of an unusual and one off no annual leave situation.

Good for you hadenough, op has to pay the bills and feed her kids, which is priority over everything, mabey that is the only job she could get, it is not easy to find suitable jobs. She is a single parent whose kids rely on her salary, she just cannot walk out of a job.

@Nicknacky has made the odd typo but there seems to be nothing wrong with her understanding. That's the second personal attack you've directed at her.

Would other posters on the thread please confirm that they can read my posts ok as hadenough keeps commenting that I’m struggling to write properly. You know, with me being a thick copper. Thanks.

And my typos are down to typing whilst multi tasking at the school pick up!

@Nicknacky - the fact you're a police officer makes perfect sense when trying to explain your lack of writing and understanding skills.

That @hadenough is totally uncalled for and disrespectful! I suppose you'd never be in the position to need the police either?

I also think you are making things up as you go along, your main breadwinner but take majority of holidays etc. Your life gets more and more charmed!

Mabey her employer cannot give her time off, as other parents who are employed by them want time off too, and the business cannot function.

I've reported it anyway.