is it cruel to send the DC for 6 weeks in the Summer hols to the holidays club

[whatwouldbe]

I am unable to get any annual leave over the summer which means DC will have to spend the entire summer school hols (6 weeks) in a holiday club. 8:30 - 17:30.

it wasn't planned like that, I was hoping to get 1 weeks off in between but could not.

Several friends and my mum told me that this is cruel. That the DC need a break and downtime. I have no friends who could have the DC for a few days and no family to help (my mum is ill and cannot physically do it).

DC dad cannot have them either (long backstory).

working from home is not an option in my line of work.

It is not a choice for me. I really wanted to spend a few days with them at home. It's not only shit for them, it's alse shit for me. all friends have nice holidays planned and we cannot even have some chilled days at home. but there is nothing I can do.

please tell me you have done it too and that it is ok. I feel really awful after DM and some friends made these remarks.

had The op has already said that her job does give her flexibility. And it's easier said than done. And the holidays are in a few weeks time so even if she miraculously got a new job she would be in the same position. And there are holidays apart from summer

@hadenough try reading the posts the OP has made indicating that this situation at work is unusual and that her employer is generally reasonably flexible.

In fact this thread is full of people simply not reading what the OP said.

Thanks @ilovesooty, I do know how to read.

The summer holidays are important because it's rare to get such an uninterrupted space of time to spend with DC, and to see them really relaxed. If my job couldn't accommodate at least a week over the summer holidays, I'd be giving in my notice.

As I said, I'd have been very upset if my mum had shipped me off to holiday club, but maybe OP's DC aren't so bothered.

No! My DC love it, and I'm not even working! 😆

hadenough Jolly good for you for having enough savings to be able to jack your job in so you could see your kids "relaxed"

I'm not sure how relaxing the op's kids will find the homeless hostel but st least the op will be with them 24/7.

Fucking hell.

Guilty of not reading the thread and it’s 17 pages. Just wanted to say that would be heaven for my son. 6 weeks of fun and meeting new kids. I sent him for 3 weeks last year and he was gutted he couldn’t have more.
He’s not going to any this year as I can’t afford it so he’s with my mum.

Don’t fret about and just have a lazy day over the weekends.

So you'd give in your notice over one unusual summer holiday situation when you're the sole earner and already generally have reasonably flexible arrangements @hadenough?

'Get a teenage babysitter' is trending like 'cancel the cheque'. RTFT people.

Cruel: beating your child, abusing them, starving them

Not cruel: sending them to a holiday club to do fun activities with other children while you work to earn money to give them a good lifestyle and opportunities

Hope this helps. Some people seem to be struggling a bit with the difference here. (Actually I think it would be cruel to force a child to spend six weeks in the company of some of the judgemental harpies on here anyway.)

ilovesooty The underlying inference being she loves her kids more than the op does. Along with the dig that her own kids would be upset if mum "shipped" them off but the op's kids won't be bothered as they presumably know mum can't be fucked. (I don't think that)!!!

As I said, I'd have been very upset if my mum had shipped me off to holiday club, but maybe OP's DC aren't so bothered.

Maybe they're clever enough to understand that OP doesn't have a choice and are looking forward to having fun at holiday club and spending their weekends with their mum who's having to work hard through the summer and sending to the best place she can.

Could you be any more judgemental??

@nicknacky & @ilovesooty

My priority would be spending time with my DC - time is precious and we only get to live once. So yes, when I am applying for jobs, I value flexibility and work-life balance above anything else - as a result I am able to take time off for things which are important to me.

I understand it's a great position to be in. The OP asked for opinions, I gave one. It's called debate - maybe check the dictionary.

What do people think happens at holiday club??? It's baking, colouring, board games, laying in the sun, movies, en mass hide and seek with walkie talkies and afternoon snoozes. With their mates. Much more fun than being at home and having to pick your washing up or walk the dog.

DD loves it. The kids will be fine, OP. And they'll sleep well too!!!

hadenough so how do you suggest she pay the mortgage if she quits work?

If DD's tired at holiday club, she just flops on the sofa and sleeps! She's 10! 😂

OP you are not being cruel to your DC. In fact it sounds like you are working incredibly hard to provide for them. Be kind to yourself and do what you need to do re: holiday club. You're making sure they're somewhere fun and secure. Holiday club will know they need downtime too, so I'm sure it won't all be structured activities. Your DC are very lucky to have you

@hadenough you haven't answered the question. Is there in fact something wrong with your comprehension skills? You weren't asked what your priorities are in looking for work. You were asked to confirm that if you were the OP given the specific facts I stated, you would hand in your notice.

@hadenough how do you suggest she feeds her children when she's not got a job?

hadenough someone can make spending time with DC their priority but still not be able to do it every day. Have a little empathy.

People who can afford to work part-time or flexible hours are incredibly privileged and should recognise that.

And why do people keep saying, "It's not ideal"?? It sounds pretty ideal to me!

Mum gets to be gainfully employed.

Kids get stimulation, fun activities, good care, nap times, etc while mum is at work.

Mum collects kids from childcare and does something fun with them. They tell each other about their days and bond. Even more special fun times are planned for the weekend.

Because mum kept working, she was able to book a holiday in October.

They even get to keep their housing, food, electricity, and running water.

Sounds perfect in my view! How is that "not ideal"?

I think you know the answer to your question.

@GibbertyFlibbert was this in reply to somebody else's question or just the least helpful response ever to the initial question?

I was a sahm in the holidays and couldn't afford expensive activities. I felt bad about that. You really can't win, but I'm sure your dc won't hold it against you, it's no one else's business.

Of course it's not cruel.
What is cruel is telling a parent who has no other options that arranging care for their child whilst they engage in the paid work that ensures said child is housed and fed and clothed that they are doing wrong. Although perhaps the pp saying this are not cruel, just stupid.

Just make the weekend a chill time