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Original poster

is it cruel to send the DC for 6 weeks in the Summer hols to the holidays club

966 replies

whatwouldbe · 06/06/2018 05:37

I am unable to get any annual leave over the summer which means DC will have to spend the entire summer school hols (6 weeks) in a holiday club. 8:30 - 17:30.

it wasn't planned like that, I was hoping to get 1 weeks off in between but could not.

Several friends and my mum told me that this is cruel. That the DC need a break and downtime. I have no friends who could have the DC for a few days and no family to help (my mum is ill and cannot physically do it).

DC dad cannot have them either (long backstory).

working from home is not an option in my line of work.

It is not a choice for me. I really wanted to spend a few days with them at home. It's not only shit for them, it's alse shit for me. all friends have nice holidays planned and we cannot even have some chilled days at home. but there is nothing I can do.

please tell me you have done it too and that it is ok. I feel really awful after DM and some friends made these remarks.

OP posts:
RideSallyRide76 · 06/06/2018 11:21

Op you're a single parent with two children, one of whom has significant disabilities and you hold down a full time job to keep a roof over your heads. Frankly you deserve a flipping medal not criticism. You've found a good club that can meet your dc's needs, they'lll be fine, they'll have fun so don't worry.

Is you boss understanding? Could you chat to them and explain how rubbish you feel about the holidays? They may be able to release you for a whole or half day tacked on to a weekend so you can at least have a long weekend.

If not though, please don't feel guilty, you have a really difficult job and you're doing your best!!

Lndnmummy · 06/06/2018 11:22

Hey ignore posters who haven’t read your full thread. I would do things in the evenings and weekends that is festive such as picnic in parks, dinner together, taking turns choosing favourite puddings etc etc. Movie night after pickup with popcorn or cupcakes.

I often have to work all half term and Christmas and easter breaks and this is what I do to still make it special and festive for my son. You are not alone, and they will be fine. Flowers

SweetCheeks1980 · 06/06/2018 11:22

@Figgypal yes I do work. I work part time in healthcare (I also have a small business which I'm building up) but I book my August holiday in March. I would only use holiday camp for maybe two weeks at a push.

And yes, I've had to take mine to work before.

SweetCheeks1980 · 06/06/2018 11:24

@mollydaydream who says she works in an office?

And as I have 7 I'm pretty sure I've met a child before...

drspouse · 06/06/2018 11:25

If the holiday club copes with your SEN child then it is absolutely the best place for them.

We have a 2 week holiday booked in August after DS is in his (also very good for his SEN) holiday club for 3 weeks. Holiday club doesn't run for the last week of the holidays so we'll have to find ad hoc childcare for the 6th week of the holidays. We only found out after booking the holiday that the holiday club plan is to run for 4 weeks in future so we will be moving our holiday to later in the summer.

Holiday clubs that "get" SEN children are worth their weight in gold.

drspouse · 06/06/2018 11:25

Frankly you deserve a flipping medal not criticism.

This

MollyDaydream · 06/06/2018 11:26

Sweet - and yet you would make your 7 kids sit quietly in a corner staring at a screen rather than having fun at a club. Bizarre.

Barbaro · 06/06/2018 11:31

My parents had to do that to me sometimes in summer if they couldn't get time off. The kids will cope, it's not stressful.

SweetCheeks1980 · 06/06/2018 11:34

@molly

I think holiday clubs are great, but not for a full six weeks holiday.
You know sometimes I think people are so wrapped up in £££ that they forget children are only young once. There's plenty of time to earn lots of money when they're older and more independent. People are so worried about working that they don't see their little ones and it's sad.
I used to work in a nursery and some children would come in at 7am and stay until 6pm. They'd start as babies, do their first steps there, progress through the rooms and then eventually stay for holiday care...all because their parents worked hard for a big house that they're never in! Or fancy things that they never use because they're always at work (or nursery).
I used to do the bare minimum I could in order to be the one seeing my kids' first steps, doing their school runs, attending all the school plays and sports days etc. I wouldn't have missed their school holidats by working full time. I wouldn't miss any of that for all the money in the world.

citybushisland · 06/06/2018 11:34

Oh ffs they'll have a ball, 6 weeks with activities and lots of other kids, mine would be in heaven. You sound like a fab mum, I'm sorry you can't have the summer you want with your kids this year, might be worth a job change before next summer though.... (and not because I think holiday club is bad, but because you want a holiday with your kids)

flowercrow · 06/06/2018 11:36

Serious question: what do people who think it's cruel imagine actually goes on at a school holiday club?
^this.

OP your children have enjoyed holiday club before. I think they will actually have a great time.
I'm sorry for you that you don't get to spend the time with them at home but they will have fun and loads to tell you when you get home and spend the evenings and weekends together.
You have nothing at all to feel guilty about.
And I hope you have a fabulous half term together in October.

ErictheGuineaPig · 06/06/2018 11:37

So who was financing this then sweet? I've been at home a lot with mine too - because I'm lucky enough to have a husband bringing in the majority of the money. Op has said repeatedly that there is no father on the scene. How exactly is she supposed to work the bare minimum with nobody else to provide for her kids?

Aeroflotgirl · 06/06/2018 11:37

Yeh right Parakeet and risk loosing her livelihoood. When she really does need to take time off sick, she will be stuffed. I think that the kids will enjoy holiday club more than being in a stuffy office, or taken to work, when they will be bored and a distraction. Op has a child with significant needs, so won't be able to do that anyway. Love the crap suggestions.

JingsMahBucket · 06/06/2018 11:38

I really wish a lot posters would just RTMFT before posting. Or at least read the OP's post that are highlighted in fucking green.

She's answered all these dumbass questions so many times and back on page 2 or 3.

Also, I will never fail to be amazed at the lack of reading comprehension skills on MN. Every. day. there is a thread. with. stupid ass. assumptions or questions.

MollyDaydream · 06/06/2018 11:38

Sweet, you're right - the best thing about being young is sitting quietly in the corner of mum's work, keeping out the way, staring at a screen Confused

Somewhereovertheroad · 06/06/2018 11:39

Are you off Saturday and Sunday? Could you get a Friday or a Monday here or there. Even a couple of days away can make all the difference?

bruiser1 · 06/06/2018 11:40

Do you know of any teenagers who could look after them I for example have an extremly sensible daughter a school leaver who is desperately looking for a summer job? Its would be cheaper than holiday clubs and they could chill at home for some of the time.

SweetCheeks1980 · 06/06/2018 11:41

I don't work in an office. There is a massive garden to play in if I take mine to work.

@Eric I finance it

Bobbydeniro69 · 06/06/2018 11:42

What a rubbish situation to be in.

I would certainly look into the legal or HR situation about not having any time off work for the whole of the summer. That sounds really unreasonable. Was it part of your contract that you can't have time off for 6 weeks in the summer?. It doesn't really matter how busy or how much you are needed, work places have wellbeing responsibilities towards their staff. I mean, what if you got signed off work with stress for two weeks this summer ...they would have to honour that legally.

At the moment I guess you can only play with the hand of card you have. There will be loads of positives about them being in holidays club, and it won't be like exactly like school so they will feel like it's a break in some ways.

Bit of a pisser though, you have my sympathies.

FrenchJunebug · 06/06/2018 11:42

I do not think it's cruel and have done the same with my son. You do what you can and my son LOVES holiday club.

MollyDaydream · 06/06/2018 11:42

bruiser, sensible teenagers are so well known for being able to provide great quality care for children with complex needs!

JingsMahBucket · 06/06/2018 11:43

@bruiser1
Do you know of any teenagers who could look after them I for example have an extremly sensible daughter a school leaver who is desperately looking for a summer job? Its would be cheaper than holiday clubs and they could chill at home for some of the time.

RTFT.

wizzywig · 06/06/2018 11:43

Theres a holiday club for kids with sen?! Do share the details.

WorzelsCornyBrows · 06/06/2018 11:45

bruiser one of the DC has complex special needs, that isn’t an option

sweet OP is working to pay the bills and mortgage. You’re making assumptions that she’s working full time when she doesn’t have to. You have 7 children and a part time job in healthcare. Someone is subsidising your income, OP doesn’t have that luxury. Please try looking beyond your own sphere.

femidom12 · 06/06/2018 11:45

I wouldn't feel guilty OP you sound like a great mum who is just doing her best!