to say, about Kate Spade's apparent suicide?

[Standandwait]

... that there are two things I take away from this:

1. there are a lot of people out there who you think are just fine and should be so happy but just aren't... not only Kate Spade, what about Robin Williams? Be aware others may be fragile and try not to hurt them.

2. if you think you're worthless and a failure remember there are probably other people out there who admire you and wish they were like you. Don't kill yourself get help.

glsgow I agree 100 percent. Who the hell has the right to judge a suicide. No wonder depressed people feel so alone.

The way I see it, some people die of mental illness just as others can die of physical illness.

Unfortunately our health services are woefully inadequate for mental illness.

I just couldn't imagine, no matter how much mental pain I was in, how I could ever choose to leave my son and leave him with the ramifications of my death.

I need to comment

You see,on balance that’s a reflective comment weighing up pros and cons,coming to a balanced decision. except feeling actively suicidal with intent impairs judgement and behaviour. To the extent that the person makes what they believe is a balanced & reasonable decision that they think is for the best. And I acknowledge that’s hard to process and perhaps unpalatable

How awful
That’s massively upsetting

And to everyone that’s dealt with this

She is at peace now
But her poor family

Fuck . You see all that money and acess to MH support and yet - some things cannot be borne

serialtester

Sorry to hear your family member is struggling. My advice would be to ask them if they feel suicidal. This is something we didn't do for my cousin and I would do anything to go back in time. Contrary to popular belief asking someone if they are suicidal does not make it more likely to happen, it could be a relief to the person and opens the conversation. There's a lot of information and support for families of suicidal people on the samaritans website, nhs, thecalmzone.net etc. You could also call the helplines on their behalf. Please pm if I can help further

MrsJayy can I ask if alcohol was involved? The only reason I ask is that I think sometimes alcohol, as well as being a depressant can give someone the courage to do something they may have been considering for a while. This is my personal experience and I am in no way diminishing your loss.

Yes depression is an illness and it can be unbearable but I think morally you lose the "right" to kill yourself when you have children

I have really changed my view in this . I used to think that way . Now I see it as death of Mental illness . Simply that.
Parents also get cancer and get ran over sadly .

I think for Some people there is NO other option their mental torment is so great .

Easy to type I know and not so easy for the people left behind . But I would hope that seeing at as a death of MH rather than a selfish act would bring some peace ? And acceptance even ?

Again so sorry for the many people that have been through this

Yes,do directly ask if suicidal, and if has a plan or timescale. It won’t cause harm
psychiatriac liaison can be accessed via A&E 24-7 for assessment

@Haribo
Thanks
Sorry about your dad.

Yes depression is an illness and it can be unbearable but I think morally you lose the "right" to kill yourself when you have children

No,no and no. With respect you really misunderstand

You’re really not seeing it from the POV of the suicidal person. They will have given their decision a lot of thought, and considered the morality and impact. And still come to decision that suicude is for them an option

The thing is if you are feeling depressed the last thing you want to be is a burden to your family. You therefore try and hide it as best you can (I know from experience). I can understand why someone would feel worthless and feel they had nothing left to live for.

I can too . I got suicidal ideation and got
Myself straight to counselling . It scared
Me
But Kate didn’t or couldn’t

This has really upset me

Haribo, I found reading accounts by people like Sally Brompton who did eventually kill herself ( she has a daughter ) made me more empathetic. Lots and lots of depressed people will not kill themselves and while some may do it out of selfishness, I cannot see how that is valid, as well, there isn't much gained from death is there? Do you mean as a revenge, make them suffer way? Otherwise what on earth is selfish about being dead? It is hideous to experience it as a child, I know but I personally do not find this view helpful. And please avoid personal accusations in nay response as you do that without reason.

A friend of mine refused to go to the funeral of a colleague who had committed suicide because she said she had been very selfish. The way the person committed suicide was horrific and I just couldn't believe that someone could be so judgemental. Sometimes people just have too much pain in their own minds to have the strength to carry on.

As a child of suicide, it doesn't matter how many times you get told it's not your fault.

They loved you so much.

They were always so proud of you.

You brought them so much joy.

When all you need to know is why.
Nobody can answer that.

Only my mum can tell me that and she left permanently.

Mums suicide has made me very cold, I don't even really get angry at anything (apart from at her).
She missed out on me and my amazing kids, it has however made me very protective of my kids.

I will never forgive her.

Nonsense Haribo you have absolutely no clue what any suicidal person is thinking or feeling. I do because I've been there. I couldn't give a tinker's cuss whether you considered me selfish or not. Your feelings = your problem.

Petty she doesn't need your forgiveness, she's dead. She died of ill health just as some mothers die of cancer. It isn't a rational choice, it's an illness.

Oh petty

I am so sorry .

Hugs

It is very sad and very hard for some people and also difficult to understand if you don't feel that way. It does appear a selfish act and most of us would not do that to our children but that doesn't mean those who feel there is no way out (if indeed it is suicide) are wrong or bad. It used to be a criminal offence but no longer is in the uK and still is a mortal sin in some religions.

I lost a friend to suicide. I don't believe in any kind of after life and the thought I couldn't escape was how futile that she would never actually attain the peace/freedom/whatever it was she sought. I've never been able to articulate clearly what I mean, but from what we know she did it free herself from her demons, but she never had that moment of freedom, does that make sense? I think she thought somehow she would feel the freedom.

Apologies for rambling. I'm so sorry to those of you on this thread who have been affected.

Haribol. I have reported you again. Suggesting that just because you can cope on your medication IS patronising and potentially harmful to others that may jut have found the right combination of medication for them. I'm sorry for what you've been through but your comments are awful and could actually push someone off the edge.

A long time work colleagues son committed suicide about 10 years ago, the lad was truly brilliant, nuclear physicist who worked under Stephen Hawkins, he got a firsts from both Oxford and Cambridge. His Dad said he was always waiting for the phone call, it was a question of when, not if.

@cheesey

Nope.

My mother chose to take her life.

That's what people who commit suicide do.

Disgusting to compare that to someone dying from cancer.

And I do agree with what cheesey said to petty . I wasn’t brave enough to say it

But I truly do petty
Hope you can eventually find some peace and acceptance