Pissed at being told to formula feed!

[HeavyMetalMama]

This is something that’s pissing me right off. My baby was born on the very middle line centile in the book, never lost weight and has stayed on that line for his whole 11 weeks. He wakes in the night and feeds fairly often in the day - possibly because he is a baby. I don’t begrudge him this as I’m quite fond of him. In the early days especially where he was glued to the breast I constantly had comments that he’s unsatisfied! He wees and poos for England, smiled at 6 weeks, engages with people etc he’s perfrct (although I could be slightly biased ).
Mum and sister #1 suggest he should have formula as he’s “unsettled” and “not getting enough”. Dad suggests formula to “bulk him up a bit”. Sister #2 jokingly (?) repeats that she hasn’t seen him yet as he’s “always buried in mum’s chest”. Mum & Sis #1 breastfed/combined fed 4 each of their own!
10 years ago, a young mum, I believed all of this and added formula from 4 weeks. Constipated my baby and ruined my milk supply. Determined not to listen this time and it’s been difficult at times but we both love boobing.

The overwhelming support doesn’t stop there, oh no. My brother in law for example sits outside in the car when Sister #2 comes over. MIL gets frustrated that she can’t cuddle DS as much as she’d like because he wants food, I even expressed earlier than I really wanted to so she could give him a bottle but he wants his mummy.
I cover so well that SIL sat opposite me without realising I was feeding, so I’m not waving them around for all to see.
Sister #1 also made a comment about him not being content this weekend.
My baby clinic, which boasts a feeding cafe for all (breast, bottle & weaning) when I took DS to be weighed put me in the corner to feed, faving the wall and sat right next to the bin.

At DS 8 week check the doctor said she’d been there 3 years and he’s the second BF baby she’s seen, in a surgery of over 5000 patients.

These aren’t even all of them.

I’m doing a fantastic job. DS is absolutely thriving. Am I being unreasonable to want to scream every time someone tells me to give him a bottle of formula?

PS no issues at all with formula I think it’s wonderful stuff, just not my choice

OP, start co sleeping and make sure you do extended breastfeeding. It's a hoot what people say to you then. 😂

Haven't read everyone's responses because I'm angry enough this morning (imagining some of the further horror stories). You are a wonderful mother and they need to butt out. If they don't/won't/can't butt out YWNBU to avoid them as much as preserves your sanity. Keep doing EXACTLY what's right for you and your baby and hang round people who SUPPORT you not undermine you. there aren't enough flowers in the world for mums to counteract some of the shit that gets thrown at them.

Well done, I formula fed mine because I bled so much my babies were being violently sick after a few seconds.

I think your families want cuddles because babies have that effect on people. Give them to the most vociferous one to wind .

Jesus Christ dancingtothebeat that was a unnecessarily nasty, horrible post.

@Dancingtothebeat projecting much?

Op, congratulations on your baby. People use Bf as an excuse for everything:

Baby won’t sleep? Feed it formula
Baby is fussy? Feed it formula
Baby looks like they are unhappy? Feed it formula

Formula is not the answer for everything and I think a lot of people have forgotten that babies don’t follow books/manuals/baby apps.

Dancingtothebeat hmm projecting much?

Like a megaphone

And carry on using boobing if you want, take absolutely no notice of the snippy types

Just say no. Do t enter further discussion.

What a nasty post Dancingtothebeat. You are complaining about the nastiness some women might experience for formula feeding, yet your disdain for the OP's feeding choices is obvious! Don't you find that ironic? How dare the OP actually enjoy breastfeeding

Fact is the UK's breastfeeding rates are the lowest in the developed world, only something like 0.5% of 12 month old babies have any breast milk at all. There should be more support available to enable women to breastfeed their children for as long as they want to. Attitudes that the OP has been exposed to are not supportive nor helpful.

I've breastfed both my DC and found it very difficult particularly in the first few weeks. After that I found it easier and more enjoyable but it's still hard work. You're allowed to enjoy something yet find it hard work at the same time!

Boobing = using a boob for its only purpose. I didn’t realise a clear joke would upset so many people

If “boobing” makes you sick maybe stop drinking it

If “boobing” a commonly used phrase, has a second, gross meaning (like boiling live hamsters or touching used chewing gum) then please let me know.

Otherwise, thank you to all the adult mummies who agree. I have seen so much in the way of apologising/explaining feeding your babies - whether breast, formula, weaning, not weaning, not breastfeeding for long or extended breastfeeding. I think people need to just let women feed their bloody kids.

@frouby I’m loving you, not gonna lie.

Perhaps appreciating that you have had a very easy ride in comparison to a lot of women might help you deal with your ‘distress’.

Yeah, there is no nasty bf mafia. People are mean to you because you're a nasty person.

I’ll make sure I “font eve” say it lest I look ridiculous

I wouldn't be majorly pissed off, you sound confident in your feeding so just ignore them and carry on.

dancingtothebeat breastfeeding is not a conspiracy against you

@pbjs nice.

Perhaps Dancing needs a bottle as she’s so unsettled? 🤗

OP stick some baby rice in it, then leave her to cry it out

Eugh I hate comments like this. I fed dd for almost a year, she was combi fed from 6 months as I struggled to express. Luckily my mum was supportive but my sister's were another matter. One doesn't think it's natural even though she was breastfed herself and the other only did it for 3 weeks and when I passed that she seemed to take it as some sort of slight on her parenting even though I never said anything at all.
I'm pregnant atm and planning on breastfeeding again if all goes to plan. But I've already started with comments. 'You won't have time to breastfeed this one'. My mil told my dh that it would be mean to breastfeed as if I was bottle feeding I could involve dd more. People constantly ask my dd if she is going to help with bottles. Breastfeeding is so far removed from the norm that people don't even consider it when talking to new mum's I don't think.

I’m not smug, I’m enjoying being able to breastfeed my baby as it’s important to me personally.

Having my nipples bleeding and feeling like they’re caught between 2 chainsaws whilst someone batters the bowling ball of a breast with a cricket bat, not tensing up so the baby doesn’t get stressed, and being told this isn’t for him personally is not quite an easy ride.

Midwives called me selfish for not formula feeding my nearly 9lb first as I’d “never satisfy with breast alone”. I highly doubt BF mums are at FF mums with pitchforks or telling them they’re killing their babies.

boobing

boobing

boobing

My son is 2 (and three months if you're counting). Still bf one feed a day and is very rough with me. The HV have implied I am depressed and struggling as I am trying to discourage him now. Damned if you do. Damned if you don't

Comments on feeding drive me mad. DS was breast fed, DD is bottle fed after her NICU stay meant she struggled with latching and my milk never came in.

People have made stupid comments about both methods! Just carry on and ignore.

@shackup oh that bollocks! A rusk is better in the bottle as he’ll love the sugar!

'One more comment and I'll squirt milk in your face'

You won't have time to breastfeed this one'

Don't get this. I know cluster feeding happens but sterilizing/making up bottles takes time as well!

@Dobbythesockelf I’ve had all that crap as well, somewhere along the line breastfeeding has been considered weird. I went to a BF morning years ago and my local area has the lowest rates in the country.

I’m lucky that I have the support of DH & DS1. Sending the rest a photo of baby being perfectly on the line in his weighing has helped a fair bit.